


thirteen new messages

by comfyeol



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, and by mildly i mean WAY fucky and memey, chat fic, gyuhao & soonchan & junshua dont start right away, its also extremely self serving sorry not sorry, jeongcheol n verkwan are the only established ones, listen my dude... this is mildly fucky and memey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-01-09 04:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 31,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12269211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfyeol/pseuds/comfyeol
Summary: vernon introduces his two new friends (technically soonyoung's friends first, but that's not important) to the rest of his friend group and jesus, this is already a mess.





	1. land of the free, home of the gays

**Author's Note:**

> hey!! so this is my first seventeen member x member fic and im mildly nervous but then again this is mostly self serving bc i love junshua and gyuhao and there isn't enough content for either of them (esp junshua). the rest of the ships are mostly just bc i was like eh why not!!
> 
> quick s/o to zee aka @cinnaminsvga on tumblr for helping me w the names and for literally being the inspiration behind some of the messages, love u, consider the soonchan a gift from me to u
> 
> SIDENOTE: for the sake of this fic, vernon and seungkwan are the same age as the 97 liners ok? ok 
> 
> here's a breakdown of the usernames:
> 
> seungcheol - dad  
> jeonghan - MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND  
> joshua - oppa chingu xD  
> jun - daddy  
> wonwoo - mcr stan  
> soonyoung - dig bick  
> jihoon - bilbo dildo  
> seokmin - donkey kong  
> mingyu - BFG  
> minghao - boutta kermit  
> seungkwan - boob seungkwan  
> vernon - jared  
> chan - donald duck

**[ new chat created: 9:07PM ]**

**[** _jared (_ memesol97 _)_ **has named and added** _dad (_ s.coups95 _), MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND (_ 1004hannie _), oppa chingu xD (_ joshua_hong _), daddy (_ moonjun  _), mcr stan (_ jeonwonwoo96 _),_ _dig bick (_ kwonfire _), bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon _), donkey kong (_ dokyeomie97 _),_ _BFG (_ 9kim7 _), boutta kermit (_ haohao8 _), boob seungkwan (_ thebestboo _), and donald duck (_ leedino _)_ **into chat** **]**

 **[** _jared_ **has named the chat** _" dream team memeteen" _ **]** ****

**jared:** welcome to dream team, memeteen my friends 

 **bilbo dildo:** number one, what the fuck. number two, why.

 **jared:** bc i want to be able to talk to all my friends in one place AND i wanted to introduce all of my old friends to two of my new friends!!

 **mcr stan:** woooaah vernon has friends??

 **d** **ig bick:** no he doesnt, he just tagged along to dinner after i had dance practice and i introduced him to "his" new friends even though ive known them for awhile

 **BFG:** that seems more accurate

 **daddy:** hey !! im jun aka new friend number one

 **boutta kermit** : yo im minghao and if jun is new friend number one i guess that makes me new friend number two ****  
****

**dad:** nice to meet you two but before we continue on  
**dad:** i just want an explanation of these names you've picked for us

 **jared:** that's valid plus jun and minghao need to learn who everyone is

 **mcr stan:** i don't need an explanation, just know im kicking your ass later

 **jared:** thats wonwoo and hes an emo

 **mcr stan:** no im not u little shit

 **donald duck:** who is stan

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i'm....

 **jared:** donald duck is chan and hes a baby freshman so excuse his lack of knowledge about terms like "stan"

 **donald duck:** ok but like who is stan im confused

 **jared:** MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND is jeonghan bc thats one of his favorite memes and MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND WHO SPITS IN MY MOUTH wouldnt fit

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i appreciate the effort  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** also hi!! 

 **daddy:** three out of eleven introductions down and im already sure this will be a trip

 **oppa chingu xD:** thats not exactly an incorrect assumption

 **jared:** oppa chingu xD is joshua because i find that funny

 **oppa chingu xD:** hes the only one who does  
**oppa chingu xD:** sidenote, i apologize on behalf of everyones behavior  
**oppa chingu xD:** and for my own behavior too bc lets be real i have no self control either

 **jared:** cheol hyung is dad bc he's the oldest and our dad

 **dad:** question - why is jun daddy if im dad

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** no one tell him

 **bilbo dildo:** as if he doesnt know from your own bedroom adventures yoon jeonghan

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** shUT

 **jared:** moving on  
**j** **ared:** dig bick is soonyoung hyung

 **BFG:** okay im not new but i need an explanation

 **jared:** dont you know that meme??  
**jared:** like those at first glance memes where at first you think it says big dick but then its not  
**jared:** like penisland is either pen island or penis land

 **BFG:** ok nice, how does that relate to soonyoung hyung

 **dig bick:** i helped vernon make the chat and i thought it would be funny bUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG

 **jared:** CONTINUING  
**jared:** then we have bilbo dildo, aka jihoon

 **bilbo dildo:** fuck you.

 **boutta kermit:** well he sure seems nice

 **jared:** love u too hyung  
**jared:** donkey kong is seokmin but we call him dokyeom which shortens to dk so, dk = donkey kong

 **donkey kong:** this is a great name!! :^)

 **jared:** btw dk is the only nice one in this chat and if ur mean to him we legally all have to kick ur ass

 **boob seungkwan:** this is true

 **donkey kong:** :D

 **daddy:** noted

 **BFG:** i already get mine  
**BFG:** im the big friendly giant cuz im tall haha vernon youre so hilarious

 **jared:** actually it stands for big fuckiNG GAY HA

 **daddy:** vernon arent you gay? i thought you mentioned your boyfriend the other night

 **boob seungkwan:** yes yes he is and hello, im the boyfriend

 **jared:** fuck

 **boob seungkwan:** mine doesnt need an explanation, my name is boo seungkwan, my boyfriend has the brain of a five year old, just continue onto yours babe

 **jared:** mine is bc whaddup, im jared, im nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read

 **donkey kong:** youre in college, dont you know how to read ??

 **dig bick:** ITS A VINE YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

 **bilbo dildo:** im saying this now so i dont have to say it later, kwon soonyoung if you excessively use caps lock in this chat, im burning your room down.

 **dig bick:** wow suddenly ive never heard of caps lock, whats that

 **donald duck:** ok but i still dont get my name

 **dad:** channie...

 **BFG:** first month freshman year?

 **donald duck:** nO FUCK YOU ALL

 **jared:** YES

 **dad:** LANGUAGE

 **donald duck:** ONE BAD HAIR CUT AND THEN I GET TREATED LIKE THIS

 **boutta kermit:** do i want to know?

 **d** **onald duck:** if anyone sends a picture im leaving the groupchat

 **dig bick:** dont worry ill show u a pic in person so channie doesnt die on the first day of the chat

 **jared:** so that is everyone and i hope you enjoy this hell chat

 **oppa chingu xD:** you probably wont

 **boutta kermit:** im gonna ask ahead of time bc i know junhui will cause problems if i dont; any relationships we should know about?

 **daddy:** xu minghao... are you implying that im a homewrecker?!

 **dig bick:** yes thats exactly what hes implying

 **jared:** theres just me  & seungkwan and jeonghan & seungcheol   
**jared:** although u probably wouldnt want to date them, theyre old

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** hey about that "old" comment, seungcheol is the oldest just saying

 **dad:** i dont deserve this kind of treatment  
**dad:** none of you call joshua old and hes the same age as me!!

 **oppa chingu xD:** its bc of my lit raps and the fact that i actually go out to parties

 **bilbo dildo:** to be fair joshua, all you do at those parties is pin drop and get mildly tipsy.

 **oppa chingu xD:** ok jihoon but i actually go to them and you sit in your room doing nothing

 **donkey kong:** OOOOOOOOHHHHHH

 **dig bick:** ROASTEEEED

 

 **[** _bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon _)_ **has left the chat ]**

 

 **donkey kong:** times jihoon hyung has left the chat - 1

 **BFG:** good idea, keep tally it probably wont be the last time

****

**[** _jared (_ memesol97  _)_ **has added** _bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon _)_ **to the chat ]**

****

**jared:** NO LEAVING THE CHAT

 **bilbo dildo:** well, i figured it was worth a shot.

 **boutta kermit:** wow you all sure do have an... interesting dynamic

 **donkey kong:** dont worry! youll get used to it :3

 **daddy:** so how old are all of you??

 **boutta kermit:** jun is a flirt so hes probably trying to find out two things  
**boutta kermit:** one: if youre all straight  
**boutta kermit:**  and two: how old you are so he can determine whether or not he can date and/or have sex with you

 **oppa chingu xD:** chan is the only freshman aka why hes our baby  
**oppa chingu xD:** me, seungcheol, and jeonghan are all seniors

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** last year of college bby

 **dad:** jeonghan  
**dad:** we're undergrads, did you forget graduate school exists

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** you know i love you cheollie but sometimes youre too negative for me

 **boutta kermit:** are there any other sophomores??

 **BFG:** yup!! me, seokmin, vernon, and seungkwan!!

 **daddy:** yeah tbh im just tryna find the juniors

 **mcr stan:** that would be me, jihoon, and soonyoung

 **daddy:** ok cool now who are the gays and the straights

 **jared:** what if none of us are gay, wen junhui??

 **dad:** jesus vernon yOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

 **jared:** FUCK

 **boob seungkwan:** i know practically everything and i can confirm we have seven gays in the chat

 **b** **outta kermit:** waIT MAKE SURE IM INCLUDED IN THAT NUMBER  
**boutta kermit:** the thought of someone thinking im straight... horrifying

 **boob seungkwan:** ok then EIGHT gays, three bis, and two pans

 **daddy:** not one straight person in this groupchat... feels good, feels organic

****

**[** _MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND_ **changed the chat name to** _" l_ _and of the free, home of the gays " _ **]**

 

 **boutta kermit:** well its great to meet you all!! ive lived here for a year and i havent really expanded my friend group outside of like... soonyoung, jun, and a few other guys on the dance team so its nice to talk to other people

 **donkey kong:** its nice to talk to you guys too!! we're happy we can make some new friends and you guys seem awesome :D

 **daddy:** you think that about minghao now  
**daddy:** wait until you get to know him

 **boutta kermit:**  keep your mouth SHUT wen junhui or i will be at our dorm with nunchucks in 10 seconds

 **daddy:** BOTH OF US KNOW MARTIAL ARTS MINGHAO  
**daddy:** BOTH OF US  
**daddy:** YOU ARENT SPECIAL

 **bilbo dildo:** id like to quickly establish some rules for this groupchat

 **donald duck:** ok but you arent the one who made it

 **bilbo dildo:** rule number one - no excessive caps lock  
**bilbo dildo:** rule number two - if you spam the groupchat im coming after you  
**bilbo dildo:** thats all

 **BFG:** channie is right you didnt make the groupchat  
**BFG:** vernon do you happen to have any rules

 **jared:** yeah i do, use caps lock all the time and spam the fuck out of the groupchat

 **boob seungkwan:** oh god

 **dig bick:** DID SOMEONE SAY USE CAPS LOCK

 **donkey kong:** DID SOMEONE SAY SPAM THE GROUPCHAT  
**donkey kong:** BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT

 **bilbo dildo:** i swear to god im going to leave again

 **dad:** ah kids

 **mcr stan:** relax seungcheol hyung youre only like a year older than me, jun, soonyoung, and jihoon, i dont think you can call us kids

 **dad:** YOU  
**dad:** YOU LITTLE SHITS JUST CALLED ME OLD LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** while this is a wonderful conversation and all  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** have you all noticed it is now 11 pm

 **BFG:** we noticed we just didnt care

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** well i have a class at eight am so youre all gonna care now  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** bedtime, children

 **jared:** GOODNIGHT EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE GROUPCHAT

 **bilbo dildo:** die

 **boutta kermit:** thanks for adding me!!

 **daddy:** yeah ty!!!

 **oppa chingu xD:** good night  
**oppa chingu xD:** sleep tight  
**oppa chingu xD:** make sure you dont let them bed bugs bite

 **mcr stan:** go to sleep joshua. please. for the sake of everyone.


	2. cyberbullying central

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **dig bick:** you know i really don't think that this needs to be discussed  
>  **dig bick:** we all make mistakes
> 
>  **boob seungkwan:** yeah we all mistakes  
>  **boob seungkwan:** but we don't all get wasted and smoke weed out of a juul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: drug mention in this chapter  
> _____________
> 
> this is... so memey and so self serving but idc i enjoy writing this so much and i hope u all like it too lmao  
> ALSO: a juul is a vape thing that you can choose flavors for and i looked it up; yes you can put weed in it bUT PLEASE DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR THAT DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME and im just explaining this bc apparently its not common knowledge

**[ chat (13):** _"_ _land of the free, home of the gays "_ |  **10:23 AM ]**

 

 **boutta kermit:** guess who finally got his schedule fixed!!

 **mcr stan:**  omg how did you break it in the first place

 **bilbo dildo:** fuck off wonwoo

 **BFG:** can we make a "no shitty jokes" rule in this chat?

 **jared:** as the captain of this chat, i support this rule

 **boob seungkwan:** so the rules so far are  
**boob seungkwan:**  1.) don't use excessive caps lock

 **dig bick:** gotcha, so use caps lock 24/7

 **boob seungkwan:**  2.) don't spam the chat

 **dig bick:** perfect, spam the chat all the time

 **boob seungkwan:**  3.) don't send dad jokes/other shitty forms of jokes

 **daddy:** uhm as the person here whose nickname is daddy i object to the ban on dad jokes

 **dad:** as the person whose nickname is dad, i second what jun says

 **mcr stan:** i dont have dad in my name but i like dad jokes so yeah what they said

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** no dad jokes please they're the worst

 **boutta kermit:** "oh wow minghao, we sure are glad you got your schedule fixed. that sounds great"

 **donkey kong:** ah we're sorry !! i'm glad you got it fixed! but why did you have to get it fixed in the first place?

 **mcr stan:** because he broke it, duh, we already discussed this

 **bilbo dildo:** jesus christ WONWOO

 **boutta kermit:** they put me in mandarin for a language class when i had chosen japanese  
**boutta kermit:** i spent about 20 minutes explaining to the woman at the office that i am from china aka i'm fluent in the language  
**boutta kermit:** and that i have no need to learn language im fluent in

 **daddy:** dude why didn't you just take it and get an easy A in the class

 **boutta kermit:** because some of us like to actually learn in college

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** OH SHIT

 **daddy:** vernon ik you said no leaving the chat but am i allowed to leave 

 **jared:** NO YOU ARENT BUT HOLY SHIT MINGHAO

 **donald duck:** FUCKING ROASTED

 **dad:**  HEY LEE CHAN LANGUAGE

 **donald duck:** language wasn't one of the rules

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** he has a point

 **oppa chingu xD:** yo a point  
**oppa chingu xD:** pencils have a point

 **jared:** jesus here we go again

 **mcr stan:** joshua hyung pls i beg

 **oppa chingu xD:** my point? do not smoke a joint  
**oppa chingu xD:** getting high aint cool  
**oppa chingu xD:** instead just grab a juul

 **daddy:** not to ruin joshua's beautiful free style rap but  
**daddy:** cant you put weed in a juul

 **donald duck:** why would any of us know

 **dig bick:** yes you can  
**dig bick:** wait i mean yeah why would any of us know  
**dig bick:** not like any of us have tried that on a dare

 **mcr stan:** and then almost thrown up  
**mcr stan:** because someone (soonyoung) had also had half a bottle of vodka

 **dig bick:** you know i really don't think that this needs to be discussed  
**dig bick:** we all make mistakes

 **boob seungkwan:** yeah we all mistakes  
**boob seungkwan:** but we don't all get wasted and smoke weed out of a juul

 **BFG:** not to change the subject or anything

 **bilbo dildo:** please change the subject

 **BFG:** but minghao, when do you have japanese?

 **boutta kermit:** 12pm with takuya

 **BFG:** !!!!!  
**BFG:** i have that class too!!!

 **boutta kermit:** great! now i'll know someone

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** you know what i just realized  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** minghao and jun only know what soonyoung and vernon look like

 **daddy:** actually i met baby chan the other day, he was leaving the practice room when i was heading in!  
**daddy:** plus i met mingyu and wonwoo that one time i popped over to wonwoo n soonyoungs dorm bc they ordered italian and i wanted some

 **boutta kermit:** yeah chan popped into my dance practice yesterday bc he forgot his sweatshirt or something

 **dig bick:** he does that all the goddamn time  
**dig bick:** i tell him to just look around the room before he leaves  
**dig bick:** but nooo why listen to soonyoung hyung 

 **donald duck:** listen ok im tired once i finish practice

 **dig bick:** so am i and i don't leave my sweatshirt in the practice room  
**dig bick:** every time  
**dig bick:** on the same chair

 **dad:** jeonghannie is right, they have no clue what we look like

 **jared:** we shOULD ALL HANG OUT THIS WEEKEND

 **bilbo dildo:** as appealing as having all 13 of us in one location sounds,  
**bilbo dildo:** no.

 **oppa chingu xD:** ah come on jihoon don't be a debby downer

 **daddy:** or should he say  
**daddy:** don't be a bilbo dildo

 **oppa chingu xD:** you are absolutely correct i should have said that

 **mcr stan:** oh so joshua and jun can make shitty jokes but i cant

 **BFG:** yeah pretty much

 **jared:** uh huh

 **boob seungkwan:** i'm fine with that

 **mcr stan:** fuck all of you

 **bildo dildo:** FUCK VERNON AND SOONYOUNG FOR GIVING ME THIS FUCKING NICKNAME!

 

 **[** _bildo dildo (_ leejihoon _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

 **donkey kong:** ooh we're up to two now

 **BFG:** dk you shld make a note in your phone to keep track of it

 **jared:** i s2g  
**jared:** FINAL RULE - NO LEAVING THE FREAKIN GROUPCHAT

 **donkey kong:** but i just made a note :/

 

 **[** _jared (_ memesol97  _)_   **has added** _bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon  _)_   **to the chat ]**

 

 **jared:** IM REPEATING THIS FOR JIHOON HYUNG  
**jared:** NO LEAVING THE DAMN GROUPCHAT

 **bilbo dildo:** that's a dumb rule.

 **dig bick:** all the rules are dumb

 **bilbo dildo:** they're reasonable except for that last one.

 **donald duck:** you're just saying theyre reasonable because you made them all

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** chan has a good point

 **bilbo dildo:** this is cyberbullying.

 **dad:** real quick  
**dad:** can we go back to what vernon said earlier  
**dad:** because i'm down for all of us hanging out this weekend

 **BFG:** we really shld  
**BFG:** i can't even remember the last time all of us hung out

 **dig bick:** it was when a bunch of us first met little channie

 **mcr stan:** ah yes back when he was donald duck

 

 **[**   _donald duck (_ leedino _)_   **has changed the chat name to**   _"_ _cyberbullying central_ _"_ **]**

 

 **daddy:** the names of this groupchat have always been Too Real

 **boobseungkwan:** the only people who have been cyberbullying are wonwoo and soonyoung

 **bilbo dildo:** add vernon in there too because soonyoung and him both contributed to my nickname

 **boobseungkwan:** no

 **bildo dildo:** why

 **jared:** bc im his loving boyfriend thats why  
**jared:** also because soonyoung came up with that name

 **dig bick:** DUDE

 **bilbo dildo:** I FUCKING KNEW IT

 **BFG:** minghao!! i just thought of something  
**BFG:** do you know where takuya's room is?   
**BFG:** bc i can just meet u @ ur dorm so you know where it is

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** damn mingyu at least take him out to dinner before going over to his dorm

 **BFG:** IM TRYING TO BE NICE JEONGHAN

 **boutta kermit:** lmao its chill  
**boutta kermit:** but yeah that works  
**boutta kermit:** i room across the hall from soonyoung  
**boutta kermit:** and i guess wonwoo?? 

 **mcr stan:** yeah im his roommate  
**mcr stan:** i dont blame you for not knowing i live there, i only leave my room for class and food

 **BFG:**  ok i know where that is!! i'll see u in like an hour ish

 

 - ♡ -

 

 **[** **chat (2):** _" fine china" _|  **10:56AM ]**

 

 **moonjun:** MINGHAO REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THERE WAS LIKE A SUPER HOT GUY OVER WONWOO AND SOONYOUNGS DORM

 **haohao8:** jun... you call every man ever a super hot guy

 **moonjun:** fuck u no i don't

 **haohao8:** ...

 **moonjun:** okay so what if i do tHATS NOT THE POINT

 **haohao8:** well then hurry up and get to the point

 **moonjun:** the hot guy is mingyu   
**moonjun:** he's a literal fucking male model  
**moonjun:** and he's walking YOU, XU MINGHAO, TO CLASS TODAY

 **haohao8:** one - idk what he looks like so until i see him with my own two eyes, i have no opinion on him  
**haohao8:** two - if you think he's that hot, why don't you get in his pants

 **moonjun:** because i didnt join that chat to find dick  
**moonjun:** plus im trying to be a good wingman and get my best friend some dick

 **haohao8:** what if i dont want dick

 **moonjun:** you always want dick

 **haohao8:** remind me why i talk to you again

 

- ♡ -

 

**[ new chat created: 11:34AM ]**

**[** _9kim7_   **has added** _haohao8_   **into chat ]**

 **[** _9kim7_   **has named the chat** _" gyu and hao learn japanese"_  **]**

 

 **haohao8:** great chat name

 **9kim7:** ty, i try my best  
**9kim7:** i just wanted to let u kno im walking over now!!  
**9kim7:** btw prof takuya is super chill  
**9kim7:** i think you'll like the class a lot!!

 **haohao8:** awesome i was gonna be a little upset if i hated it

 **9kim7:** plus i'll do my best to make it fun :)

 **haohao8:** i appreciate it!

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" fine china"_ |  **1:56PM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** hol y ffuck  
**haohao8:** im fuckign walkin back to our dorm  
**haohao8:** i shouldv e believed u ffuckk

 **moonjun:** i :) told :) you :) he :) is :) hot  
**moonjun:** ask him out or something

 **haohao8:** dude i just met him no  
**haohao8:** he probably thinks im just that chinese transfer student who dances  
**haohao8:** that's literally all he knows about me

 **moonjun:**  dont worry im sure he knows that you're a little bitch too

 **haohao8:** im not but why would he think that

 **moonjun:**  your vibe

 **haohao8:** fuck you

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (4):**   _" 97z"_ |  **2:07PM ]**

 

 **9kim7:** minor problem

 **thebestboo:** what'd you break

 **memesol97:** wow babe way to assume  
**memesol97:** but yeah whatd you break

 **9kim7:** nothing!! i dont always break stuff

 **dokyeommie97:** yes you do

 **9kim7:** I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU ALL SOMETHING NOT TO BE CYBERBULLIED

 **thebestboo:** good point thats for the other chat

 **memesol97:** mingyu when will u let me change the names in the chat

 **9kim7:** never  
**9kim7:** anyways back to what i was saying  
**9kim7:** so minghao?? the one from our groupchat??

 **thebestboo:** the one you walked to japanese class?

 **9kim7:** yes him

 **dokyeommie97:** you think he's hot don't you

 **memesol97:** please for the love of christ don't say you think he's hot

 **thebestboo:** you know im not gonna say jeonghan was right but

 **9kim7:** am i that easy to read

 **thebestboo:** yes

 **memesol97:** yes and let me change the names you coward

 **dokyeommie97:** sorry gyu... you really are easy to read  
**dokyeommie97:** but!! if you think he's attractive, try and get to know him more!!

 **memesol97:** let me change the names or i'm adding him to this groupchat

 **thebestboo:** vernon no

 **9kim7:** FINE FINE I'LL LET YOU CHANGE THE GODDAMN NAMES

 

 **[**   _memesol97_ **has added** _haohao8_   **to the groupchat ]**

 

 **memesol97:** woops  
**memesol97:** buT YAY I CAN CHANGE THE NAMES NOW

 **haohao8:** is this another groupchat

 **thebestboo:** yes but its only cool people

 **dokyeommie97:** aka it's only the 97 liners

 **haohao8:** yeah i had kind of assumed it was the 97 liners based on the name of the chat and the fact that three of you have 97 in our username

 

 **[** _kazoo kid (_ memesol97  _)_   **has renamed** _thicc_ _(_ thebestboo  _),_ _docutie_   _(_ dokyeommie97  _), fairy (_ haohao8  _)_ _,_   **and**   _tree boy_ _(_ 9kim7 _)_   **]**

 

 **thicc:** this right here is a prime example of why we don't give vernon naming rights

 **docutie:** i like mine

 **fairy:** why the actual fuck am i fairy

 **kazoo kid:** you remind me of a fairy

 **fairy:** im not a goddamn fairy

 **thicc:** methinks he doth protest too much

 **tree boy:** we JUST added him to the groupchat  
**tree boy:** how about we wait to bully him

 **fairy:** fuckin thank you mingyu

 **kazoo kid:** HHMMMMM

 **tree boy:** what does that mean

 **thicc:** HHMMMMM

 **tree boy:** no one likes it when you guys both do the same thing  
**tree boy:** i know you both think it's couple goals but it isn't its just annoying

 **docutie:** HHMMMMM

 **fairy:** dokyeom not you too

 **docutie:** wait what i thought we were just "hmm"-ing

 **kazoo kid:** no one "hmm"s without a purpose

 **docutie:** then what is our purpose  
**docutie:** OH  
**docutie:** NEVERMIND I GET IT

 **tree boy:** you all exhaust me

 **kazoo kid:** then take a nap


	3. cyberbullying soonyoung central

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **dad:** good, i'm your dad not your friend
> 
>  **BFG:** seungcheol please
> 
>  **mcr stan:** (you're_not_my_dad.vid)
> 
>  **dad:** :( son why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do u see the junshua and gyuhao ;)) bc i do ;))  
> also if u SQUINT in this chapter u can see soonchan i swear
> 
> NOTE: Gamma Omega Theta is GOT7 as a frat :)))))

**[ chat (2):**   _" fine china"_ | **1:41 AM** **]**

 

 **moonjun:** minor problem

 **haohao8:** junhui where the fuck are you  
**haohao8:** i told you to text me when you were on your way back from that dumb frat party

 **moonjun:** listen im a junior in college haohao  
**moonjun:** i can handle myself  
**moonjun:** but anyways like i said: minor problem

 **haohao8:** dont call me haohao but what happened

 **moonjun:** well IM not drunk  
**moonjun:** but joshua is 

 **haohao8:** joshua like from our groupchat??

 **moonjun:** yes

 **haohao8:** how do you know its him

 **moonjun:** i came to the party with soonyoung  
**moonjun:** we ran into joshua and jihoon  
**moonjun:** btw jihoon is a lot shorter than expected

 **haohao8:** ok so you found a drunk joshua  
**haohao8:** how is that important

 **moonjun:** idk where his dorm is so im gonna drag him up to ours  
**moonjun:** figured id warn you before i brought a cute drunk guy to our room

 **haohao8:** you're tipsy aren't you

 **moonjun:** love u :) be home soon :)

 **haohao8:** i hate you

 

- ♡ -

 

**[ new chat created: 12:47PM ]**

**[** _joshua_hong_   **added** _moonjun_   **into chat ]**

 **[** **the chat has been left** _untitled_   **]**

 

 **joshua_hong:** hey junhui  
**joshua_hong:** i just wanted to say thanks  
**joshua_hong:** for letting me stay over last night

 **moonjun:**  no problem  
**moonjun:** you were drunk off your ass and i wasnt gonna let you wander the streets

 **joshua_hong:** pls know i dont normally get that drunk  
**joshua_hong:** i normally just get a little tipsy  
**joshua_hong:** but whatever jeonghan mixed in that drink was a little wild

 **moonjun:** pls know i normally DO get that drunk  
**moonjun:** and next time these situations may be swapped

 **joshua_hong:** noted  
**joshua_hong:** well i owe you one

 **moonjun:** no you dont seriously its fine  
**moonjun:** if i ever get as wasted as you, it turns into a minghao problem

 **joshua_hong:** well next time it will be a jisoo problem

 **moonjun:** jisoo ??

 **joshua_hong:** oh fuck i never told u lmao  
**joshua_hong:** jisoo is my korean name  
**joshua_hong:** i mean im sure you didnt think that joshua was korean but

 **moonjun:** no that actually did confuse me  
**moonjun:** so did you move to korea around the same time as vernon?

 **joshua_hong:** lol no i moved to korea for university  
**joshua_hong:** im LA born n raised baby

 **moonjun:** wow thats really cool  
**moonjun:** im glad minghao and vernon aren't my only other overseas buddies

 **joshua_hong:** yeah lol  
**joshua_hong:** oh shit i have a class to get to  
**joshua_hong:** it was nice talking to you!!  
**joshua_hong:** and srsly thank u for letting me crash in your dorm

 **moonjun:** np !! have fun in class

 **joshua_hong:** haha thx!! ttyl

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" fuck u soonyoung dont change the chat name again"_ |  **1:17PM ]**

 

 **kwonfire:** so  
**kwonfire:** minghao informed me that you took joshua home

 **moonjun:** yeah he was really drunk and i didnt want him to wander the streets

 **kwonfire:** ok jun but you didnt have to take the guy home

 **moonjun:** are you trying to imply i was trying to have sex with him

 **kwonfire:** you said it, not me

 **moonjun:** look soonyoung  
**moonjun:** 1.) minghao was in the dorm  
**moonjun:** 2.) i literally told minghao i was bringing him into our dorm  
**moonjun:** 3.) i told this to hao: i did not join that groupchat looking for dick

 **kwonfire:** sure that wasnt the intention  
**kwonfire:** but i know you and i know you dont just bring any drunk guy up to your room

 **moonjun:** he's nice and he's a friend  
**moonjun:** my penis only controls some of my thoughts, not all of them

 **kwonfire:** fine fine

 **moonjun:** you dont believe me

 **kwonfire:** where could you have possibly gotten that idea

 **moonjun:** if u pull any of ur stupid stunts that u always do, i will kick ur ass

 **kwonfire:** :)

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" cyberbullying central"_ |  **4:51 PM ]**

 

 **donald duck:** good evening friends!!  
**donald duck:** i just wanted to let you know i have a dance showcase next week and i would love for u all to come!!

 **dad:** of course chan!!

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** we'd love to!! what dance class is it for?

 **donald duck:** ballet :P

 **BFG:** holy shit you do ballet

 **donald duck:** ... yeah  
**donald duck:** pls dont joke about it

 **dig bick:** channie why would we joke about it!! thats so cool

 **boutta kermit:** yeah ballet takes a lot of muscle and control thats impressive

 **daddy:** chan if you're that into dance, you should join the dance team

 **dig bick:** jun's right you should  
**dig bick:** ive been trying to get him to forever !!

 **jared:** CHANNIE WE WILL SUPPORT YOU NO MATTER WHAT  
**jared:** and yes you should join dance team

 **boob seungkwan:** vernon you arent even on the dance team why do you act like you are

 **jared:** im an honorary member

 **daddy:** no you arent

 **dig bick:** no you are not

 **boutta kermit:** nope

 **jared:** you know i make a chat... with my FRIENDS... and then i get bullied smh

 **donald duck:** i'll def consider joining :)

 **mcr stan:** this conversation is too pure and good  
**mcr stan:** can we turn our conversation to how WASTED joshua was last night

 **oppa chingu xD:** please dont

 **bilbo dildo:** that was hilarious

 **oppa chingu xD:** actually wait jeonghan what did you put in that drink  
**oppa chingu xD:** i want to know so i can avoid it forever

 **dad:** joshua why would you let hannie make you a drink  
**dad:** last time i did that i had a migraine for like three days

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** hey hey it wasnt that bad  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** and tbh joshua, i was wasted and cannot recall

 **bilbo dildo:** i told you to just stick near me but noooo joshua wants just one drink from the kitchen  
**bilbo dildo:** the next thing i know, soonyoung is texting me saying joshua is at jun and minghao's dorm and that i dont have to go looking for him  
**bilbo dildo:** which is good because i wouldnt have

 **mcr stan:** wait shua how the fuck did you get to jun and minghao's dorm

 **daddy:** that would be my doing

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** do i need to like educate you children  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** you buy someone dinner BEFORE going to their dorm/taking them to yours

 **oppa chingu xD:** jesus jeonghan  
**oppa chingu xD:** i was drunk off my ass, jun wasn't  
**oppa chingu xD:** he was being nice

 **BFG:** wow i wish the guys i knew were nice enough to take me back to their dorm after just meeting

 **boob seungkwan:** you know mingyu you owe me a coffee

 **BFG:** why ??

 **boob seungkwan:** because i just threw myself across the room to stop vernon from saying something that would have not made you happy

 **donkey kong:** ;) ;) ;)

 **dig bick:** whats with the winks

 **mcr stan:** do all u sophmores know something we dont

 **jared:** yes

 **BFG:** no

 **donkey kong:** yes

 **boob seungkwan:** yes

 **boutta kermit:** wow glad to see im not included in whatever is happening here

 **donkey kong:** it has to do with stuff discussed before we added u to our 97 line groupchat

 **BFG:** SEOKMIN WHY

 **donkey kong:** wait what  
**donkey kong:** OH FUCK

 **jared:** this is why we cant have nice things

 **boutta kermit:** whats the problem

 **boob seungkwan:** give it a second

 **dig bick:** YOU HAVE A GROUPCHAT WITHOUT ALL OF US

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** im offended wtf do u all talk about without us

 **daddy:** um minghao why did you not inform me of this

 **boutta kermit:** bc ur annoying lmao

 **donald duck:** roasted again

 **donkey kong:** hyungs pls dont be upset we have a groupchat without u all :((

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** aww dont worry seokminnie, we arent upset !!

 **dig bick:** speak for urself jeonghan

 **donkey kong:** :((

 **dig bick:** nvm im not upset 

 **dad:** wow we should make an upperclassmen groupchat then

 **donald duck:**  ok fine leave me out of everything then  
**donald duck:** i cant exactly start a freshman groupchat when its just me

 **mcr stan:** its bc youre the only cool freshman channie

 **dig bick:** yeah youre the only cool freshman plus u r our baby  
**dig bick:** other freshman do not deserve you

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** a little possessive arent we, soonyoung?

 **bilbo dildo:** hes always like that with chan

 **oppa chingu xD:** he spent a full 10 minutes rubbing his cheek against chans head at that one party

 **dig bick:** do we need to bring up that party

 **donald duck:** that was hilarious  
**donald duck:** you were so drunk

 **boob seungkwan:** "cHaNnIe My BaBy WhY aRe YoU hErE tHeReS aLcOhOl AnD yOuRe A cHiLd"

 

 **[** _dig bick_ **changed the chat name to** _" cyberbullying soonyoung central"_  **]**

 

 **bilbo dildo:** wait we're cyberbullying soonyoung now

 **dig bick:** NONONONONO JIHOON NO WE ARE NOT

 **bilbo dildo:** my time to shine... it's here

 **dad:** we are not cyberbullying anyone

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** as much as i love drama, cheol is right

 **bilbo dildo:** you're all no fun

 **dad:** good, i'm your dad not your friend

 **BFG:** seungcheol please

 **mcr stan:** ([you're_not_my_dad.vid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBWpzvJGTz4))

 **dad:** :( son why

 **boutta kermit:** hey guys so i just found out from kunpimook that theres some party going on tonight at Gamma Omega Theta

 **mcr stan:** whomst is that and what is that

 **dig bick:** its bambam and the frat is GOT

 **jared:** fuck i never knew his real name lmao

 **boutta kermit:** anyways, who wants to join bc i dont wanna go alone

 **BFG:** ooh i can go!!

 **donkey kong:** oh in that case i cant go, my goldfish is sick

 **jared:** i wanna make out with seungkwan in our dorm

 **boob seungkwan:** i'll be preoccupied with that

 **boutta kermit:** wow ok guess mingyu and i are the only sophomores from here going  
**boutta kermit:** anyone else wanna ditch us for something lame

 **jared:** HEY MAKING OUT WITH SEUNGKWAN IS NOT LAME

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** after last nights party? im good

 **dad:** hannies not going so im out

 **oppa chingu xD:** i havent gotten rid of my headache from last night so nah

 **daddy:** yo shua do you want my hangover cure drink?

 **oppa chingu xD:** yes please dear god  
**oppa chingu xD:** i dont get drunk enough to know what to do

 **daddy:** ok then im out bc im going over shua's

 **dig bick:** i mean i already planned on going

 **mcr stan:** no the fuck you arent soonyoung  
**mcr stan:** your half of the room is a mess and you PROMISED to clean it by monday  
**mcr stan:** keep your ass in this room and clean

 **dig bick:** wow ok grandpa  
**dig bick:** guess im not going

 **bilbo dildo:** minghao, i have nothing against you and nothing to do, i just hate parties and i already was forced to go to one last night, so i'll pass.

 **mcr stan:** same as jihoon, fuck parties lmao

 **donald duck:** i can go !!

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** no

 **dad:** no

 **dig bick:** no

 **mcr stan:** no

 **donald duck:** why??

 **dig bick:** bc the kids at GOT get fucking insane at their parties and you arent gonna get drunk when theres only minghao and mingyu to take care of you

 **boutta kermit:** soonyoung has a point

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** theyre probably gonna get drunk, make out with each other, forget about chan and then BOOM we have a problem to deal with

 **boutta kermit:** im sorry, mingyu and i are gonna get drunk and do WHAT?

 **BFG:** jeonghan i dont recall that i normally make out with my friends when i get drunk

 **boob seungkwan:** hmmm

 **jared:** hmmm

 **BFG:** ONE TIME  
**BFG:** ONE FUCKIGN TIME I TRY AND KISS VERNON WHEN I WAS WASTED  
**BFG:** WHEN WILL YOU ALL LET IT GO

 **jared:** never

 **donkey kong:** lol savage

 **boutta kermit:** well i will make sure to keep mingyu away from the drinks then

 **daddy:** sure you will haohao

 **boutta kermit:** fuck u and dont call me haohao 

 **dig bick:** its your username tho

 **boutta kermit:** that dig bick of yours wont exist if you keep talking soonyoung

 **bilbo dildo:** did he just

 **donkey kong:** LOL SAVAGE

 

 **[** _jared (_ memesol97 _)_   **renamed**   _boutta kermit (_ haohao8 _)_   **to** _thughao_   **]**

 

 **thughao:** id say i object to this nickname but i dont

 **jared:** im glad someone appreciates my handiwork

 **boob seungkwan:** i came up with that and told you it but ok

 **jared:** why does everyone want to ruin my fun


	4. dick deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mcr stan:** theres too much going on rn  
>  **mcr stan:** 1\. minghao and jun had a conversation abt fucking mingyu  
>  **mcr stan:** 2\. drunk mingyu managed to wander all the way to shua's dorm from the GOT fraternity  
>  **mcr stan:** 3\. jun just called joshua 'jisoo' and didnt get murdered  
>  **mcr stan:** 4\. seokmin still hasnt explained what he meant when he said he doesnt like the taste of shaving cream and its really haunting me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Theta Sigma is BTS as a frat :)  
> also does this chapter have more junshua or gyuhao??? who knows  
> (my apologies for the lack of soonchan its coming i swear)

**[ incoming call from:** kim mingyu | **8:06 PM** **]**

 

—   _"hey, mingyu. what's up?"_

— "oh! hey, minghao. i was just wondering if you wanted me to just drive us to that party.

instead of us having to like... walk or whatever. it's cool if you don't, like i can just meet

you at your dorm and we can walk and actually that would probably make a lot more sense...

i'm not even that good of a driver... sorry, i don't know why i called this was dumb,

i'm dumb, sorry, i'll see you at your dorm in like 20 minutes, bye."

— _"wait, mingyu-"_

 

 **[** kim mingyu **has ended the call** **| length:** 00:01:21 **]**

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" gyu and hao learn japanese  _ _"_ | **8:08 PM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** mingyu  
**haohao8:** are you like... ok?  
**haohao8:** i don't think ive ever heard someone talk that fast in my entire life and i room with junhui

 **9kim7:** yeah!! im fine!!  
**9kim7:** sorry im just very bad at phone calls and im much better at talking over text

 **haohao8:** same lmao dont stress its chill

 **9kim7:** ok cool  
**9kim7:** im sorry for hanging up on you though  
**9kim7:** i didnt hear you say anything until the last second

 **haohao8:** its fine, phone calls make u nervous  
**haohao8:** thats out of ur control u know?

 **9kim7:** ty for being understanding and not freaking out  
**9kim7:** when i did that to seungcheol hyung the first time he was ready to call 911  
**9kim7:** he thought i was having a stroke or something

 **haohao8:** of course he would  
**haohao8:** so is that car ride offer still available? idc how bad of a driver u r, soonyoung murdered me in dance team rehearsal today and my legs are tired

 **9kim7:** oh yeah!! sure!! i'll grab my keys and be over in a few

 **haohao8:** kk thx

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):** _" cyberbullying soonyoung central  _ _"_ | **12:08 AM ]**

 

 **dad:** listen ik its 12am but do any of you have shaving cream  
**dad:** i didnt realize i was almost out and now i have shaving cream on only half of my face

 **bilbo dildo:** you literally live with jeonghan how does he not have any

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** um we're a couple and share things ?? when he runs out i run out

 **mcr stan:** im sorry are we still speaking to yoon jeonghan aka the man who once tackled me when i wanted to borrow an extra fucking blanket the one time i slept on the couch at ur place

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** lol im just kidding, cheol knows he cant use mine

 **dad:** pls just tell me one of you has shaving cream

 **donkey kong:** no i dont like the way it tastes

 **mcr stan:** excuse me, seokmin  
**mcr stan:** what

 **dad:** you eat your shaving cream??

 **donkey kong:** no why would i eat if i dont like the way it tastes

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** ah seokminnie  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** we really do love you, pls know this

 **donkey kong:** :D

 **thughao:** minor problem

 **bilbo dildo:** not to go to worst case scenario  
**bilbo dildo:** but minghao just said minor problem and is at a party with mingyu

 **dad:** at this point im not surprised  
**dad:** we'll meet you at the hospital i guess

 **thughao:** woah who the fuck said anything about a hospital

 **jared:** you mean mingyu didnt break anything?

 **thughao:** no ?? the problem is that i lost my dorm key and junhui is probably dick deep in joshua right now

 **boob seungkwan:** I JSUT SPI T OUT MY DRINK FCUK

 

 **[**   _jared (_ memesol97 _)_   **has renamed the chat** _" dick deep" _ **]**

 

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** jihoon, as joshua's roommate, can you confirm

 **bilbo dildo:** well  
**bilbo dildo:** im currently pulling an all nighter in the studio for a project  
**bilbo dildo:** so i wouldnt know

 **thughao:** anyways are any of you up for letting a drunk chinese boy crash in your dorm

 **donkey kong:** minghao u can come up to my dorm with mingyu !! ^-^

 **thughao:** lit ok i just have to locate tree boy and then im out

 **dad:** oh jesus  
**dad:** minghao you left him alone?

 **thughao:** hes a 6ft tall dude whose biceps are like the size of my head  
**thughao:** he can handle himself im sure

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** im having war flashbacks to the last Beta Theta Sigma party fuck

 **daddy:** i have a 6ft tall korean boy here  
**daddy:** to whom do i return him to

 **thughao:** junhui wtf u said u werent gonna fuck mingyu

 **daddy:** things i didnt do - > that

 **thughao:** then why is he with you

 **boob seungkwan:** not to interrupt but when did you two have a conversation about fucking mingyu

 **daddy:** not important  
**daddy:** and idk, jisoo just saw him wandering around outside so we ran down and got him

 **donkey kong:** u can return him to me pls!!

 **mcr stan:** theres too much going on rn  
**mcr stan:** 1\. minghao and jun had a conversation abt fucking mingyu  
**mcr stan:** 2\. drunk mingyu managed to wander all the way to shua's dorm from the GOT fraternity  
**mcr stan:** 3\. jun just called joshua 'jisoo' and didnt get murdered  
**mcr stan:** 4\. seokmin still hasnt explained what he meant when he said he doesnt like the taste of shaving cream and its really haunting me

 **donkey kong:** :P

 **thughao:** another minor problem  
**thughao:** mingyu left his car here and im drunk and dont know how to drive

 **dad:** ok i washed the shaving cream off my face so just give me like 5 min and i'll pick u up  
**dad:** mingyu can collect his car tomorrow

 **thughao:** i have no fucking idea what you look like

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** he has black hair, bushy eyebrows, and his eyes r like cow eyes  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** but pretty cow eyes

 **thughao:** gotcha so look for a guy with pretty cow eyes

 **mcr stan:** now that the issue is solved  
**mcr stan:** jun how tf do u call joshua 'jisoo' without dying

 **daddy:** like this  
**daddy:** jisoo

 **bilbo dildo:** i would be hanging upside down out our dorm window by my feet rn if i said that

 **daddy:** lol why

 **oppa chingu xD:** im not a huge fan of that name

 **boob seungkwan:** 'not a huge fan' joshua you literally made wonwoo carry your bag around the entire day bc he called u that

 **oppa chingu xD:** he fucked me over in the frying pan game

 **mcr stan:** i mean u could have just used jisoo in the game

 **oppa chingu xD:** keep that name out of ur mouth jeon wonwoo or so help me god

 **daddy:** sorry joshua i didnt know it bothered you

 **oppa chingu xD:** no, its fine, you can call me jisoo

 **daddy:** not if it bothers you

 **oppa chingu xD:** it doesnt

 **dig bick:** hmmm i see it only doesnt bother joshua when jun says it.... hmmmm

 **jared:** hmmm

 **boob seungkwan:** hmmmm

 **daddy:** no offense but soonyoung u havent said shit the entire night until now, go to sleep

 **oppa chingu xD:** full offense soonyoung, fuck right off

 **dig bick:** love i feel tonight - 0

 **BFG:** love is a social construct

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** good to see you mingyu  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** seokmin is he back at your dorm

 **donkey kong:** yes and seungcheol hyung dropped off minghao so now i have two drunk boys  
**donkey kong:** one is asleep on the floor and the other is in a bed

 **mcr** **stan:** you know i think in any other context, hearing seokmin say he has two drunk boys would be a bad thing

 **dad:** put them both in a bed and get mingyu off his phone

 **bilbo dildo:** get off your phone when you're driving seungcheol

 **dad:** IM THE FATHER HERE  
**dad:** also im not driving yet

 **donkey kong:** on a scale of 1-10 how annoyed will they be that i shoved them in the same bed

 **daddy:** haohao will be at a 9.5  
**daddy:** points of his ears will be bright red when he realizes where he is

 **mcr stan:** gyu will be at a 10  
**mcr stan:** will probably have pissed himself when he wakes up

 **donkey kong:** oh well i have a morning class so i'll be gone :)

 **jared:** anyone know where chan is  
**jared:** he's the only one who hasnt said shit tonight

 **donald duck:** ITS ALMOST ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I HAVE A TEST IN CHEMISTRY AT 10 FUCKING AM IF YOU DONT ALL SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP I WILL DIG UP EVERY PIECE OF BLACKMAIL I HAVE ON ALL OF YOU AND LET IT ALL LOOSE

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** my son,,, im so proud  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** sleep well young padawan

 **dad:** goodnight kids

 **mcr stan:** we dont need a goodnight message from anyone else, we got one from dad that means time to sleep

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat**   **(2):** _"_ _untitled "_ |  **1:34 AM ]**

 

 **moonjun:** hey so you fell asleep abt ten minutes ago so i left  
**moonjun:** i wanted you to know i left and that im not dead  
**moonjun:** not that you would assume i was dead but  
**moonjun:** idk u get what im saying hopefully  
**moonjun:** also if jisoo really bothers you, i can just call you joshua  
**moonjun:** its rlly no problem  
**moonjun:** alright im back at my dorm  
**moonjun:** ttyl

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" roomiez"_ |  **10:38 AM ]**

 

 **minroomie:** LEE SEOKMIN

 **dokroomie:** you rang?

 **minroomie:** YOU PUT MINGHAO IN A FUCKING BED WITH ME???

 **dokroomie:**  sorry, wrong number :)

 **minroomie:** SEOKMIN

 **dokroomie:** seungcheol hyung told me to :(( plus i didnt want either of you on the floor or in my bed

 **minroomie:** WELL WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TAKE HIM TO JUN

 **dokroomie:** idk he asked for a place to crash and i offered

 **minroomie:** i cant believe this  
**minroomie:** im a good person, right? i dont deserve this

 **dokroomie:** remember that one time you locked me out and i had to sleep in the hallway

 **minroomie:** yes why are we bringing that back up

 **dokroomie:** karma

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" fine china"_ |  **10:40 AM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** wen fucking junhui

 **moonjun:** hold up  
**moonjun:** you are not about to argue with me or get mad at me for letting you sleep in the same bed as mingyu

 **haohao8:** why the fuck am i not

 **moonjun:** you said, and i quote -  
**moonjun:** "junhui is probably dick deep in joshua right now"

 **haohao8:** touche

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _"_ _untitled_ _"_ |  **11:03 AM ]**

 

 **joshua_hong:** hey jun!! just wanted to say thx for letting me know you didnt die  
**joshua_hong:** also for making me that hangover cure  
**joshua_hong:** both were very appreciated

 **moonjun:** anytime shua!!

 **joshua_hong:** you can call me jisoo  
**joshua_hong:** srsly, it doesnt bother me

 **moonjun:** shua, its fine  
**moonjun:** it seemed to bother you when the guys in the groupchat brought it up

 **joshua_hong:** its bc they tend to tease me  
**joshua_hong:** theyll say shit like 'jisoos christ'  
**joshua_hong:** its just annoying

 **moonjun:** well  
**moonjun:** i wont say that  
**moonjun:** scouts honor

 **joshua_hong:** you were never a boy scout were you

 **moonjun:** what gave it away

 **joshua_hong:**  hm probably the fact that you know how to mix a hangover drink in abt five seconds  
**joshua_hong:** also what should i change the chat name to

 **moonjun:** junshua

 **joshua_hong:** ??

 **moonjun:** its a combo of our name  
**moonjun:** i can think of something else if you want

 **joshua_hong:** nope thats genius

 

 **[** _joshua_hong_   **changed the chat name to** _" junshua"_  **]**

 

 **joshua_hong:** we're revolutionaries

 **moonjun:** do i have your permission to change our names

 **joshua_hong:** duh

 

 **[**   _china's prince_ _(_ moonjun  _)_   **has renamed** _america's prince_ _(_ joshua_hong _)_   **]**

 

 **america's prince:** as an american, im offended bc george washington didnt die for there to be monarchs  
**america's prince:** but as hong jisoo/joshua hong, im honored

 **china's prince:** wow now i understand how you get so many guys  
**china's prince:** just keep talking united states history, it'll get you so much dick

 **america's prince:** um are you implying that talking about the twelfth president of the united states aka zachary taylor who was also nicknamed old rough and ready WONT give guys a boner?

 **china's prince:** nvm i lied, keep talking history to me its sexy

 **america's prince:** did you know that texas entered the union differently so it can split into separate states in a different way than all the other ones

 **china's prince:** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 **america's prince:** hey!

 **china's prince:** oh im sorry i just discovered america is extremely boring

 **america's prince:** id be offended but you arent that wrong  
**america's prince:** sure the main reason i left LA was bc i liked the schools in korea  
**america's prince:** but also, that shit is boring

 **china's prince:** well at least your country didnt break apart nine million times

 **america's prince:** history is dumb

 **china's prince:** fuck yeah it is

 **america's prince:** i type this as i walk into my american history class

 **china's prince:** lmao have fun jisoo  
**china's prince:** don't get to 'rough and ready' with it 

 **america's prince:** at first i was upset but tbh im proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the seokmin shaving cream thing is inspired from tumblr lmao also thank god i had the ability to use my ap us history knowledge for something, joshua hong has them facts
> 
> and pls dont expect me to do frequent updates like this super often it just happened bc i got in a mood and had no ap homework tonight


	5. upperclass bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donald duck:** wait hold up  
>  **donald duck:** wonwoo hyung who DID you expect to be a furry
> 
>  **mcr stan:** soonyoung
> 
>  **dig bick:** FUCK YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chpt is takes place abt 4 days after the last one bc !! i like skipping time :) and yes it took seungcheol that long to get his shit together and make an upperclassmen groupchat  
> wow the soonchan in this chapter,,, so much  
> also catch me shoving the junshua down your throats already bc !!! it needs to be here

**[ new chat created: 10:07AM ]**

**[** _father (_ s.coups95  _)_ **has named and added** _father 2.0_   _(_ 1004hannie  _), get out me_ _SHUAmp (_  joshua_hong  _)_ _, jerry (_ moonjun _), 10:10 (_ kwonfire  _)_ _, emo son (_ jeonwonwoo96 _), maknae (_ lee jihoon _)_ **into chat** **]**

 **[** _father (_ s.coups95  _)_   **has named the chat** _" upperclass bitches"_  **]**

**father:**  they made a groupchat without us  
**father:** so i made a groupchat without them

 **father 2.0:** wow,, my pettiness is rubbing off on u and ive never been happier

 **get out me SHUAmp:** did you make a shrek joke with my name

 **father:** yes

 **get out me SHUAmp:** impressive

 **jerry:** rip chan, the only one without a separate groupchat to be in

 **maknae:** junhui why

 **emo son:** i give it 5 secs before soonyoung says something

 **10:10:** you rang

 **emo son:** here we go

 **jerry:** i was only pointing out a fact 

 **10:10:** WAIT JUN IS RIGHT  
**10:10:** CAN I PLS ADD CHANNIE TO THE CHAT

 **father:** no this is chat is for the adults only

 **father 2.0:** as much as i love my son,,, no

 **10:10:** aww guys come on :( i feel so bad that he's left out

 **get out me SHUAmp:** technically he isnt left out  
**get out me SHUAmp:** he's in the other groupchat

 **10:10:** yeah but even there he's the only freshman  
**10:10:** and then we leave him out of the other groupchats

 **maknae:** tell the other assholes to add him into their chat

 **emo son:** pls jihoon you know he wont do that bc soonyoungs been in love with him since we started high school together

 **jerry:**  fuck i didnt kno you guys went to high school together omg  
**jerry:** that makes it ten times cuter

 **father:** this tea is delicious wrow

 **10:10:** LISTEN HERE  
**10:10:** channie is like my best friend  
**10:10:** the way i love him is like the way i would love a brother

 **emo son:** lol ok, i have a brother and if he looked at me the way you look at chan, i'd have to talk to our parents

 **get out me SHUAmp:** he isnt exactly wrong, soonyoung

 **father 2.0:** tbh you're the only person i approve of dating him  
 **father 2.0:** u have such heart eyes when u look at him,, its so soft

 **father:** remember last yr when a bunch of us went to a haunted house  
**father:** and soonyoung was like 'okAY SO I INVITED SOMEONE,,, HE IS A BOY,, BUT HE IS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL AND IVE KNOWN HIM SINCE WE WERE LIKE 10 SO OFF LIMITS'  
**father:** and then proceeded to literally cling to chan the entire time  
**father:** it was precious

 **father 2.0:** it was disgustingly adorable

 **emo son:** at least none of you had to suffer through high school with all of them  
**emo son:** it was 24/7 third wheeling and craving death

 **maknae:** when do you not crave death tho

 **emo son:** fair point

 **10:10:** I HATE ALL OF YOU IM NOT PINING AFTER CHAN

 **jerry:** no one ever said PINING  
**jerry:** we just all think you're in love with him

 **10:10:** ok correction then  
**10:10:** I HATE ALL OF YOU IM IN LOVE WITH CHAN

 **get out me SHUAmp:** wow a confession

 **10:10:** FUCKUFCKUDFHUFCUFKUCUFUCKUFUCJCUFUCKFUKUFKUFKCUFKUFCKUFKFUCUFKFUCKUFKC

 **father 2.0:** hmm,,, screenshotted

 **10:10:** IT WAS S ATYPO DELTE UR SCREENSHOT IMMEDIATLEY

 **father:** it wasnt a typo  
**father:** it was your subconcious trying to speak to you

 **jerry:** omg i can hear it too  
**jerry:** what's that its saying

 **get out me SHUAmp:** i think i can make a few words out  
**get out me SHUAmp:** ask... chan... out

 **jerry:** woah i hear the same thing

 **10:10:** GO BACK TO BEING DICK DEEP IN JOSHUA, JUNHUI  
**10:10:** YOU WERE QUIET THEN IT WAS NICE

 **maknae:** all i ask is for a total of one (1) conversation that does not have to do with dicks

 **emo son:** ur gonna need a new friend group to get that wish fulfilled

 **get out me SHUAmp:** oh wait i meant to ask  
**get out me SHUAmp:** when the fuck did everyone come to the conclusion that junhui and i were fucking

 **jerry:** what a coincidence i meant to ask the same thing

 **father 2.0:** well it wasnt everyone

 **father:**  yeah it was mostly drunk minghao

 **jerry:** that little fucker  
**jerry:** i fucking hate it when he gets drunk because he says the dumbest shit  
**jerry:** to be fair though, i admire him for not trying to suck mingyus dick when they were wasted

 **maknae:** wait is minghao pining after mingyu now too

 **emo son:** there are too many single dick loving boys in our groupchats  
**emo son:** so much pining,,, i hate it

 **father 2.0:** stfu wonwoo u are one of the singles in the groupchat dont act like u dont pine over guys all the time

 **emo son:** am i tho 

 **father 2.0:** what

 **10:10:** maybe we all need to get our dick deep in someone  
**10:10:** or a dick deep in us  
**10:10:** or both  
**10:10:** this is a switch friendly zone

 **maknae:** JUST ONE CONVERSATION WITHOUT A DICK BROUGHT UP  
**maknae:** ONE

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (3):**   _" the elderly"_ |  **12:58 PM ]**

 

 **hannie:** so shua  
**hannie:** when did you start liking junhui

 **shua:** what  
**shua:** i dont like junhui

 **cheollie:** oh joshua  
**cheollie:** sweet, sweet, terrible liar joshua

 **hannie:** we're your best friends, theres no point in hiding it from us when we're gonna find out

 **shua:** listen, junhui and i are friends  
**shua:** just friends

 **hannie:** friends who take care of each other drunk

 **cheollie:** friends who take care of other drunk people together

 **hannie:** friends who have hung out a lot in the past few days without anyone else

 **cheollie:** friends who apparently fell asleep and cuddled in the same bed

 **shua:** HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND OUT THAT LAST ONE

 **hannie:** blackmail + jihoon = answers

 **shua:** i no longer have a roommate  
**shua:** he's dead to me

 **hannie:** i repeat my question  
**hannie:** when did you start liking junhui

 **shua:** sorry i g2g my bed frame needs to be walked and i gotta dust my dog

 **cheollie:** YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A DOG

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[** **chat (2):**   _" gyu and hao learn japanese"_ |  **3:43 PM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** pls let me change the chat name mingyu  
**haohao8:** it hurts me

 **9kim7:** smh when we first became friends u told me u liked it :(

 **haohao8:** yes but we've been friends for long enough that i can start to bully u  
**haohao8:** lovingly of course

 **9kim7:** change the name u dork

 

 **[**   _haohao8_   **changed the chat name to**   _" cat and dog"_  **]**

 **[** _cat (_ haohao8  _)_   **has renamed** _dog (_ 9kim7  _)_   **]**

 

 **dog:** hey!! why am i the dog!!

 **cat:** idk u remind of one  
**cat:** like a beagle or something

 **dog:** hmmm fine  
**dog:** i get why ur a cat tho  
**dog:** ur all cute looking but ur rlly savage

 **cat:** im cute looking?

 **dog:**  um  
**dog:** yes ??

 **cat:** whats with the question marks

 **dog:** i use ?? question marks ?? when im ?? nervous ?????????

 **cat:** well why are you nervous

 **dog:** who ?? knows ??

 **cat:** if it helps, i think you're cute too

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" roomiez"_ |  **3:56 PM ]**

 

 **minroomie:** MINGHOA CALLDED ME CU TE   
**minroomie:** HWAT DO I OSDND

 **doroomie:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**doroomie:** SAY THANK YOU ?????????????????????

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **3:57 PM ]**

 

 **dog:** haha  
**dog:** thanks

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" fine china"_ |  **4:00 PM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** mingyu called me cute today

 **moonjun:** KSUKEHFOSIRHFIOSRGHUIERHFIJDS  
**moonjun:** WHAT  
**moonjun:** WHAT DID YOU SAY

 **haohao8:** i was shook for a solid minute  
**haohao8:** but i told him i think he's cute too

 **moonjun:** omgomgomgomg  
**moonjun:** i cant believe ur gonna get a walking god's dick omg  
**moonjun:** what did HE say

 **haohao8:** he thanked me

 **moonjun:** he...

 **haohao8:** yup

 **moonjun:** what the fuck is that supposed to mean

 **haohao8:** who knows

 **moonjun:** im a guy and yet i still dont why guys are so confusing

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" junshua"_ | **6** **:23 PM ]**

 

 **china's prince:**  jisoo, im hungry and minghao has officially holed up in the dance studio for the night  
**china's prince:** pls just consider this ur one act of charity for the month and come with me to dinner or something

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (3):**   _" the elderly"_ |  **6:24 PM ]**

 

 **shua:** jun asked me to go to dinner with him

 **cheollie:** WHAT

 **hannie:** WAIT LIKE A DATE  
**hannie:** OR JUST DINNER

 **shua:** i mean he didnt exactly specify

 **cheollie:** SO ASK

 **shua:** no i dont wanna be pushy

 **hannie:** JOSHUA HONG YOU ARE GOING TO ASK WEN JUNHUI IF THIS IS A DATE RIGHT HIS INSTANT OR I AM GOING TO SELL EVERY ONE OF YOUR GIRLS GENERATION ALBUMS

 **shua:** YOU WOULDNT DARE 

 **hannie:** TRY ME

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" junshua"_ |  **6:24 PM ]**

 

 **china's prince:** ???  
**china's prince:** its ok if u dont  
**china's prince:** i can just order some thai food  
**china's prince:** tbh thats what ill do nvm

 **america's prince:** wait!! sorry jeonghan and seungcheol wouldnt leave me alone  
**america's prince:** i can go get dinner with you

 **china's prince:** you sure? i dont wanna bother you

 **america's prince:** of course im sure!!  
**america's prince:** i have a question though

 **china's prince:** shoot

 **america's prince:** does this dinner  
**america's prince:** does it like  
**america's prince:** count as  
**america's prince:** a date ??

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" fine china"_ |  **6:25 PM ]**

 

 **moonjun:** FUCKFUCKFUCUFKCUFKUFKCUFKFUCKUFFUCIFCUFKFUC

 **haohao8:** im literally about to run through my dance again  
**haohao8:** you have 1 minute to tell me whats happening

 **moonjun:** I MIGHT BE GOING ON A DATE WITH JISOO

 **haohao8:** I TAKE THAT BACK YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING  
**haohao8:** YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDNT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT

 **moonjun:** OKAY WELL I DO  
**moonjun:** I JUST DIDNT WANT TO GET REJECTED BECAUSE FROM WHAT I KNOW JISOO IS JUST A SUPER NICE DUDE  
**moonjun:** SO I DIDNT WANT TO MISINTERPRET SHIT  
**moonjun:** bUT I JUST ASKED HIM TO GET DINNER WITH ME AND HE ASKED IF IT COUNTED AS A DATE

 **haohao8:** IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU WOW  
**haohao8:** WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM

 **moonjun:** SHIT  
**moonjun:** I HAVENT ANSWERED

 **haohao8:** YOU DUMBASS, GO ANSWER

 **moonjun:** RIGHT

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" junshua"_ |  **6:26 PM ]**

 

 **china's prince:** i mean  
**china's prince:** i'd like that  
**china's prince:** but only if you want it to

 **america's prince:** i'd actually like that too

 **china's prince:** its a date then

 **america's prince:** its a date

 **china's prince:** give me like 20 min to get ready and then i will swing by your dorm to pick you up  
**china's prince:** for our date

 **america's prince:** that sounds good  
**america's prince:** see you soon !  
**america's prince:** for our date :)

 

\- ♡ -

 

Liked by  **1004hannie, minghao8,** and  **71 others**

 **moonjun**   "wait are you taking a picture? here i'll  
be a flower."

_view all 28 comments_

**minghao8** this is too cute i literally cant tease u

 **joshua_hong** I THOUGHT YOU WERENT GONNA  
POST THIS

 **chwe.vernon** i repeat: dick deep

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" dick deep"_ | **9** **:15 PM ]**

 **[** _boob seungkwan (_ thebestboo  _)_   **has renamed the chat to**   _" junshua confirmed"_  **]**

 

 **boob seungkwan:** im jsut so soft wow

 **jared:**  o big worm kin ID

 **thughao:** as precious as jun and joshua are  
**thughao:** did vernon just fucking say "kin ID"

 **mcr stan:** out of all of us, i did not expect vernon to be the furry

 **jared:** IM NOT

 **boob seungkwan:** you know, we were on a nice topic  
**boob seungkwan:** and then minghao and wonwoo had to exercise their limited furry knowledge

 **mcr stan:** stop trying to change the fact that we just outed your boyfriend as a furry

 **donald duck:** wait hold up  
**donald duck:** wonwoo hyung who DID you expect to be a furry

 **mcr stan:** soonyoung

 **dig bick:** FUCK YOU

 **mcr stan:** idk man  
**mcr stan:** just bc im roommates with u doesnt mean i know everything abt u  
**mcr stan:** maybe thats a secret of yours

 **dig bick:** i dont keep secrets

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** thats a lie

 **bilbo dildo:** ive never read a bigger lie than that

 **dad:** lmao nice try soonyoung

 **donald duck:** oooo what secret is soonyoung hyung keeping

 **mcr stan:** nothing my son  
**mcr stan:** dont worry abt it

 **daddy:** we were just talking abt it in the other gc, dont worry

 **dig bick:** JUN

 **dad:** come on can we have ONE nice thing

 **oppa chingu xD:** lmao

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** fuck u josh ur only laughing bc u just fuckin went on a date with jun  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** in ANY other situation ud be complaining too

 **oppa chingu xD:**    


**donald duck:** ok i get it  
**donald duck:** im officially not included in anything

 **jared:** channie we can add u to our underclassmen groupchat

 **boob seungkwan:** no

 **jared:** why

 **boob seungkwan:** bc we talk abt the weirdest shit in there and i dont want to subject him to that

 **donald duck:** totally not like we talk about the weirdest shit in here or anything  
**donald duck:** whtvr i dont care its just a dumb groupchat

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** aww channie dont be upset

 **donald duck:** im not  
**donald duck:** ttyl

 **boob seungkwan:** soonyoung cheer him up i feel bad

 **dig bick:** or u could just apologize ??

 **boob seungkwan:** funny joke  
**boob seungkwan:** go cheer him up

 **dig bick:** sigh  
**dig bick:** im on it

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _"_ _LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG_ _"_ |  **12** **:44 AM ]**

 

 **kwonfire:**  hey i kno u were upset so i gave u some time to cool off bc ik u always need that **  
kwonfire:**  and now its almost 1 am  
**kwonfire:** wonwoo is sleeping over some friends dorm tonight  
**kwonfire:** idk if ur up  
**kwonfire:** but i just built a fucking pillow fort

 **leedino:** holy shit  
**leedino:** im gonna run across campus for this i dont even care oh my god

 **kwonfire:** woah woah woah  
**kwonfire:** who said you could come in ;)

 **leedino:** is there a secret password 

 **kwonfire:** of course theres a secret password  
**kwonfire:** what kind of man do you take me for  
**kwonfire:** the kind of man to NOT have a fortified pillow fort?

 **leedino:** whats the password

 **kwonfire:** guess

 **leedino:** hyung :(

 **kwonfire:** nope i wont even let you in my dorm room if you dont know the password

 **leedino:** youre my favorite hyung

 **kwonfire:** close

 **leedino:** youre my favorite hyung and the best

 **kwonfire:** even closer

 **leedino:** youre my favorite hyung, youre the best, and i love you

 **kwonfire:** well done, young padawan  
**kwonfire:** make your way to the fortress of kwon  
**kwonfire:** also like call me bc i wanna make sure u dont die on the way over

 **leedino:** youre a nerd

 **kwonfire:** youve known me my entire life, yes, im a nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u all liked it :P idk how i feel abt the insta thing but i wanna incorporate more social media stuff into this  
> also did u notice anything with wonwoo ;);:);;)


	6. not jeonghan's house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donkey kong:** everyone type a lot  
>  **donkey kong:** fill up the chat  
>  **donkey kong:** no one needs to see anything ever  
>  **donkey kong:** better idea  
>  **donkey kong:** everyone just remove their eyes  
>  **donkey kong:** do it no questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000+ HITS ??? 100+ KUDOS??? WHAT??? THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!
> 
> more sex talk than i rlly wanted to do in this chapter but ya kno,,, its there  
> also minor angst?? i guess?? but other than that its fluff like usual

**[ chat (2):**   _" junshua"_ |  **1:35 AM ]**

**  
**

**china's prince:** hey jisoo  
**china's prince:** i just wanted to talk to you about some stuff  
**china's prince:** and i know its like one am   
**china's prince:** but i cant get this stuff (and you) out of my head  
**china's prince:** god that was so gay and cheesy

 **america's prince:** is everything ok?

 **china's prince:** yeah, mostly  
**china's prince:** its just  
**china's prince:** stuff id prefer to tell you myself rather than have you find out from someone else

 **america's prince:** im not gonna find out you have some secret sex cult or that ur rlly some actual prince right?

 **china's prince:** no, unfortunately i do not run a secret sex cult and im not a prince  
**china's prince:** you know how when hao and i first joined the groupchat he jokingly called me a homewrecker and implied that i flirt with a lot of people?

 **america's prince:** junhui im not worried about you flirting with someone else if this is what the conversation is about

 **china's prince:** its not  
**china's prince:** im glad that you arent worried about that though bc i dont do that  
**china's prince:** when i first moved to korea, i didn't really have a lot of people to talk to. minghao and i really only had each other and so there was this guy  
**china's prince:** he was a senior when i was a sophomore and we started texting and talking bc he knew chinese  
**china's prince:** it was just so nice to have someone pay attention to me you know? and it was so easy to talk to him  
**china's prince:** i wasn't the chinese transfer student, i was just me  
**china's prince:** and so we kind of hooked up like multiple times  
**china's prince:** i really liked him and i assumed we would maybe start dating at some point  
**china's prince:** i didn't find out he had a girlfriend until three months into the whole thing

 **america's prince:** oh my god  
**america's prince:** junhui im so sorry

 **china's prince:** so, thats why minghao jokingly calls me a homewrecker and everything

 **america's prince:** and it doesnt bother you that he does that?

 **china's prince:** of course it does  
**china's prince:** i hate that because of it a lot of my friends treat me like i was some sort of... idk.. slut? or something??  
**china's prince:** like soonyoung thought i was just trying to hook up with you when i let you crash in my room

 **america's prince:** you should talk to them  
**america's prince:** because what you went through... thats not something they should joke about  
**america's prince:** also please know that it does not change my opinion on you at all  
**america's prince:** i was the new kid once too and it was terrifying and lonely  
**america's prince:** and i could speak korean fluently!! i can't imagine what it was like for you babe

 **china's prince:** babe?

 **america's prince:** shit  
**america's prince:** just kind of slipped out, sorry, idk if it bothers you or not

 **china's prince:** it doesnt at all  
**china's prince:** and i'll talk to them soon  
**china's prince:** thanks jisoo  
**china's prince:** for a lot

 **america's prince:** anytime  
**america's prince:** now go to sleep, its late and tired jun isnt fun

 **china's prince:** one time jisoo  
**china's prince:** JUST ONE TIME I FALL ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

 **america's prince:** not ever gonna let it go babe :)

 

- ♡ -

 

**[ new chat created: 3:04 AM ]**

**[** _joshua_hong_   **has added** _s.coups95, 1004hannie, jeonwonwoo96, kwonfire, leejihoon, dokyeomie97, 9kim7, haohao8, thebestboo, memesol97,_ **and**   _leedino_   **into chat ]**

 **[** _joshua_hong_   **named the chat** _" wen junhui protection squad"_  **]**

 

 **joshua_hong:** listen up fuckers  
**joshua_hong:** idk if youve noticed but i happen to care about junhui a lot  
**joshua_hong:** and he just informed me about something that im not going to share  
**joshua_hong:** mostly bc its his private business that is not for me to meddle in  
**joshua_hong:** but i know some of you know what happened his sophomore year  
**joshua_hong:** and i want you all to know that implying he is a flirt, or some guy who goes around having sex with everyone, or a homewrecker, makes him uncomfortable  
**joshua_hong:** so for the sake of junhui not being upset  
**joshua_hong:** and me not being very angry (which is something none of you have seen)  
**joshua_hong:** don't do it anymore, ok?  
**joshua_hong:** if you have any other questions, ask junhui  
**joshua_hong:** sidenote - im sorry if this comes off as very angry, its 3 am, jun told me what happened, and im pissed at the other person involved  
**joshua_hong:** im gonna go to bed before i get any angrier

 

**[ 10:13 AM ]**

 

 **haohao8:** i just talked to him  
**haohao8:** ty for bringing it up joshua  
**haohao8:** jun has a habit of not wanting to upset ppl and avoiding conversations

 **kwonfire:** if i had known it bothered him i wouldnt have done it

 **1004hannie:** idk if yall are dating yet but joshua, you two are cute as hell

 **memesol97:** remind me never to get joshua angry

 **dokyeomie97:** yea srsly its kinda scary O.o

 **joshua_hong:** sorry guys  
**joshua_hong:** i dont like getting angry  
**joshua_hong:** and im not angry at any of you!!!! i was angry at the situation

 **haohao8:** understandable

 **kwonfire:** we'll be sure to not do it anymore, ok shua?

 **joshua_hong:** as much as i appreciate that soonyoung, u shld probably say it to jun  
**joshua_hong:** and idk jeonghan... we havent really talked about that

 **jeonwonwoo96:** you should date fr

 **thebestboo:** yeah yall are adorable

 **s.coups95:** and you clearly care about him

 **joshua_hong:** yeah  
**joshua_hong:** i feel so awkward right now god why did i make this groupchat  
**joshua_hong:** i had good intentions but they were not to talk about our relationship

 **9kim7:** cant call it a relationship if you havent actually done anything yet

 **leejihoon:** i mean... they went on a date

 **9kim7:**  'done anything' means sucked dick or kissed and theyve done neither with each other

 **joshua_hong:** im leaving my own groupchat and never speaking to mingyu again

 

 **[** _joshua_hong_   **has left the chat ]**

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" fuck u soonyoung dont change the chat name again"_ **| 10:18 A **M ]****

****  
** **

**kwonfire:** hey jun  
**kwonfire:** so i just want to apologize for joking about you having sex with a lot of people  
**kwonfire:** it was really dumb  
**kwonfire:** and also a really shitty thing to do, especially because im your friend and i know what you went through  
**kwonfire:** i care about you a lot and i dont want stuff i do to upset you  
**kwonfire:** i love you a lot too  
**kwonfire:** no homo tho, like im gay but im gay for someone else

 **moonjun:** did jisoo talk to you?

 **kwonfire:** actually he talked to all of us  
**kwonfire:** it was precious,,, he rlly cares about you

 **moonjun:** well i appreciate the apology a lot, soonyoung  
**moonjun:** and do you rlly think he does

 **kwonfire:** dude i KNOW he does

 **moonjun:** good  
**moonjun:** idk how we stand rn, but im glad we both care about each other a lot

 **kwonfire:** are u guys going on another date soon?

 **moonjun:** tonight, actually  
**moonjun:** kinda nervous

 **kwonfire:** i believe in u bro

 **moonjun:** ty bro

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **10:35 AM ]**

 

 **cat:** im the worst best friend ever  
**cat:** im literally such a shitty person

 **dog:** omg what  
**dog:** what happened?

 **cat:** the whole fucking jun thing  
**cat:** i knew what happened soph yr bothered him  
**cat:** and i still fcking joked about it

 **dog:** you ! are ! not ! a ! shitty ! person  
**dog:** you're human, minghao  
**dog:** and humans fuck up and yeah we do dumb things sometimes  
**dog:** but that does not make you a shitty person

 **cat:** ik but im mad that i didnt think about how he might feel

 **dog:** youre one of the most caring ppl i know, ok?  
**dog:** like that one time i fell down the stairs  
**dog:** im a lanky, clumsy tree and most of my friends would have laughed at me tripping and falling  
**dog:** but u just ran down and made sure i was ok

 **cat:** i will admit, it was funny, i just wanted to make sure you didnt break your neck

 **dog:** see!! youre caring!!  
**dog:** everyone messes up sometimes  
**dog:** dont beat urself up abt it 

 **cat:** i s2g you are either the dumbest person ever or the smartest  
**cat:** one second you'll ask me what obama's last name is and then you're giving me advice

 **dog:** I GOT CONFUSED

 **cat:** calm down  
**cat:** it was cute

 **dog:** you find my stupidity cute?

 **cat:** i find a lot of things you do cute

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" roomiez"_ |  **10:43 AM ]**

 

**minroomie:**   


**dokroomie:** WHAT ???????????????

 **minroomie:** MINGHAO JUST SAID HE FINDS A LOT OF THINGS I DO CUTE ??????????????

 **dokroomie:** OH MY GOD  
**dokroomie:** AHSDLIJDKSKLJDKLJD  
**dokroomie:** WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY ?????????????

 **minroomie:** IDK I JUST FIGURED ID INFORM YOU THAT IM DYING RIGHT NOW

 **dokroomie:** OKAY GOOD LUCK ILL INVITE MINGHAO TO YOUR FUNERAL

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **10:45 AM ]**

 

 **dog:** like what?

 **cat:** lol, not gonna boost your ego even more gyu

 **dog:** damn, i tried

 **cat:** you wanna grab lunch together? i need to go over some japanese stuff with you too  
**cat:** im still not fluent in korean, its impossible to get some of this crap as well

 **dog:** ok!! i will do my best to help

 **cat:** this is why youre like a dog

 **dog:** ??

 **cat:** i dont know one other person who would get so excited at the thought of helping me do japanese work

 **dog:** maybe im just excited bc we get to hang out  
**dog:** anyways, wanna meet at the coffee house?

 **cat:** yeah, i'll see u there

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[** **chat (13):**   _" junshua confirmed"_ |  **6:08 PM ]**

 

 **dig bick:** have fun on ur date tonight, joshua and jun !!!

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** be safe!! use a condom!!

 **bilbo dildo:** hey jeonghan have you ever stopped and thought 'maybe i shouldnt say this'

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** nope :) all of my thoughts are worth saying all the time

 **donald duck:** false

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** wow ok  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i feel disrespected in my own home

 

 **[**   _donald duck (_ leedino  _)_   **renamed the chat to** _" not jeonghan's house"_  **]**

 

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** rude

 **donkey kong:** has anyone heard from mingyu??  
**donkey kong:** he isnt back at the dorm, i have the inability to cook, and he wont answer his texts

 **dad:** isnt he hanging out with minghao?

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** fuck i forgot to warn them to use a condom

 **mcr stan:** im sure theyll be fine

 **donkey kong:** yeah!! just bc mingyu finds minghao cute doesnt mean theyre gonna go do stuff

 **bilbo dildo:** mingyu thinks minghao is cute???

 **donkey kong:** frick  
**donkey kong:** ignore that ignore that ignore that oh my god

 **jared:** rip lee seokmin  
**jared:** 1997 to 2017

 **donkey kong:** everyone type a lot  
**donkey kong:** fill up the chat  
**donkey kong:** no one needs to see anything ever  
**donkey kong:** better idea  
**donkey kong:** everyone just remove their eyes  
**donkey kong:** do it no questions

 **thughao:** idk why youre freaking out  
**thughao:** its not like i didnt call him cute earlier today

 **dad:** what

 **boob seungkwan:** o worm??

 **jared:** the plot... it thickens

 **donkey kong:** does this mean im not gonna die today

 **BFG:** debatable

 **donkey kong:** im not gonna be at the dorm tonight :))

 **BFG:** ur lucky bc i would have refused to make u dinner

 **donkey kong:** WAIT NO I STILL NEED DINNER

 **BFG:** too bad

 **dad:** mingyu, feed him

 **BFG:** n e v e r

 

- ♡ -

 

Liked by **s.coups95, leejihoon,** and  **83 others**

 **joshua_hong** when you go to a cat cafe for a   
cute date but all the cats ignore you :/ (but ur   
date is still pretty cute)

_view all 20 comments_

**s.coups95** this is so precious im gonna cry 

 **minghao8** im not surprised they wouldnt go  
to him, they probably know not to go near  
lame ppl

 **moonjun** @minghao8 thats just a bad burn,   
0/10, do better next time

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" junshua"_ |  **8:40 PM ]**

 

 **america's prince:** despite all the cats avoiding us  
**america's prince:** i had a great time tonight

 **china's prince:** while i was also dissapointed the cats didnt like us  
**china's prince:** i had fun too

 **america's prince:** i think my favorite part was right before i went in my dorm

 **china's prince:** me too  
**china's prince:** i had wanted to kiss you for awhile

 **america's prince:** im happy you did it  
**america's prince:** bc i was too scared to

 **china's prince:** i have a question though

 **america's prince:** shoot

 **china's prince:** what are we?

 **america's prince:** ?? humans

 **china's prince:** no jisoo  
**china's prince:** like what are we?

 **america's prince:** im korean-american and you're chinese ??  
**america's prince:** OH WAIT  
**america's prince:** you meant  
**america's prince:** oh

 **china's prince:** yeah

 **america's prince:** i would like to be your boyfriend  
**america's prince:** a lot  
**america's prince:** but whatever makes you comfortable

 **china's prince:** ok cool  
**china's prince:** bc i would also like that a lot

 **america's prince:** really?

 **china's prince:** yes  
**china's prince:** i dont kiss just anyone

 **america's prince:** well then, wen junhui, i am truly honored to be your boyfriend

 **china's prince:** you're such a dork  
**china's prince:** im happy you're my boyfriend too

 

- ♡ -

 

 **Wen Junhui** has updated his relationship status to  **in a relationship**.

 **Joshua Hong** has updated his relationship status to  **in a relationship.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! junshua confirmed !!!!  
>  sorry for the lacking soonchan again..,.,., im a disappointment i know!!  
> its coming tho, i promise !!  
> feel free to leave a comment if theres something u like bc i enjoy reading them so much (like they rlly make me happy and motivate me so pls comment xoxo ily)


	7. baby boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **10:10:** i dont like any of u tellin me what 2 do  
>  **10:10:** im a Rebel  
>  **10:10:** im Radio Rebel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy november!!! this chapter is A Lot of soonchan mostly to make up for the lack of it in previous chapters, so i hope u enjoy !!!
> 
> ty for 1.3k hits <3

**[ chat (13):**   _" not jeonghan's house"_ |  **11:07 PM ]**

 

 **dig bick:** its Soft Hours™

 **[** _dig bick (_ kwonfire _)_   **renamed the chat to** _" soft hours"_  **]**

 

 **bilbo dildo:** why is it soft hours

 **donkey kong:** do u not go on ur facebook

 **bilbo dildo:** sorry, im not a 40 year old white woman  
**bilbo dildo:** what did i miss

 **boob seungkwan:** jun hyung and joshua hyung are officially official !!!!!!!!!!!

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** im so proud of my babies.,,., growing up so fast

 **oppa chingu xD:**  im the same age as you jeonghan

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** m y   b a b i e s

 **thughao:** wait wait wait  
**thughao:** does that mean you two kissed ??

 **daddy:** a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell

 **BFG:** that 100% means they kissed

 **dig bick:** WHO KISSED WHO

 **dad:** WAS IT CONSENSUAL

 **boob seungkwan:** WERE THERE SPARKS

 **jared:** DID A CHURCH CHOIR START SINGING AS YOU KISSED

 **donkey kong:** SET THE SCENE, WE WANNA HEAR EVERYTHING

 **donald duck:** well not everything  
**donald duck:** keep details regarding tongues out of the story

 **oppa chingu xD:** who uses tongue in a first kiss?

 **donald duck:** ...  
**donald duck:** i had a bad first kiss ok?

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** as depressing as that is chan!!  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** junhui, joshua, the floor is yours

 **daddy:** im just gonna answer the questions  
**daddy:** 1.) i kissed jisoo  
**daddy:** 2.) yes it was consensual what kind of man do you think i am  
**daddy:** 3.) this isnt a katy perry song, seungkwan  
**daddy:** 4.) this isnt a nicholas sparks movie, vernon  
**daddy:** 5.) why would i want to tell you guys every detail???

 **jared:** thank god its not a nicholas sparks movie, that guys an asshole

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i take that back, the floor is just joshuas  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** give us some details pls, the gays want to know

 **donald duck:** and bis

 **mcr stan:** and pans

 **oppa chingu xD:** 1\. junhui kissed me  
**oppa chingu xD:** 2\. yes it was consensual  
**oppa chingu xD:** 3\. this isnt a taylor swift song, seungkwan  
**oppa chingu xD:** 4\. just bc im christian does not mean i have a church choir on hand so no  
**oppa chingu xD:** 5\. junhui kissed me, i kissed back, we are now dating, the end

 **thughao:** laaame

 **donkey kong:** juicy details provided? 0  
**donkey kong:** everyone in the chat? dissapointed  
**donkey kong:** dick? out

 **BFG:** we are in the same room, your dick better not fucking be out

 **dig bick:** mingyu have you never seen that meme

 **mcr stan:** mingyu knows like 5 memes  
**mcr stan:** dabbing, dat boi, harambe, why the fuck you lyin, and that navy seal copypasta

 **thughao:** thats so sad oh my god

 **dig bick:** all of these memes are so old,,, hao pls teach ur boyfriend memes

 **BFG:** one, i am perfectly fine with the memes i know of  
**BFG:**  two, we arent dating ??

 **dig bick:** woops sorry i just assumed bc ya kno,,,  
**dig bick:** you guys think each other are cute

 **thughao:** hey i can admit a guy is cute without wanting to date him

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _"_ _fine china_ _"_ |  **11:23 PM**   **]**

 

 **moonjun:** okay but you DO want to date mingyu

 **haohao8:** i never said that  
**haohao8:** i just said hes cute

 **moonjun:** hmmm do you not recall what you dreamt of last night  
**moonjun:** bc as i laid awake working on my literature essay  
**moonjun:** you had an interesting dream

 **haohao8:** WEN JUNHUI DO NOT

 **moonjun:** 'gyu, we're in public... kiss me later ~'  
**moonjun:** 'mingyu you're so handsome ~'

 **haohao8:** im gonna chug bleach

 **moonjun:**  dont spend too much on it at 7/11 xoxo  
**moonjun:** also dont forget to buy me doritos :)

 **haohao8:** i hope u dream of getting attacked by bees

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" roomiez"_ |  **11:23 PM ]**

 

 **minroomie:** what was that supposed to mean :(

 **dokroomie:**  !!! i am in the bathroom mingyu can u wait a minute

 **minroomie:** no :(  
**minroomie:** does minghao really just find me cute???  
**minroomie:** i thought we were flirting and stuff :(

 **dokroomie:** i am trying to go to the BATHROOM mingyu!!!!  
**dokroomie:** also as much as i love you, ur an idiot  
**dokroomie:** minghao likes u and he is probably just too shy to say anything

 **minroomie:** ok but how do you know :(

 **dokroomie:** i dont know !!  
**dokroomie:** what i do know is that i want to not text you while im in the bathroom!!

 **minroomie:** ty for ur help :))))))))))))))))))))))))) (not)

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[** **chat (2):**   _" LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG"_ |  **11:51 PM ]**

 

 **kwonfire:** wonwoo is out again  
**kwonfire:** i am officially suspicious  
**kwonfire:** you, lee chan, are now the only man i can trust

 **leedino:** hmmm  
**leedino:** isnt this like the tenth time this month that wonwoo has gone over some mysterious person's dorm?

 **kwonfire:** you dont think...

 **leedino:** i mean, its wonwoo hyung  
**leedino:** he could definitely hide having a fuck buddy from us

 **kwonfire:** me, HIS BEST FRIEND, not knowing of him getting dick/pussy.... im offended beyond words  
**kwonfire:** im stocked up on mountain dew and chips :)

 **leedino:** does this mean what i think it means?

 **kwonfire:** get ur ass over here rn  
**kwonfire:** operation find out who wonwoo is fucking is a go

 **leedino:** on my way soonyoung hyung !!!!!!

 

- ♡ -

 

Liked by  **s.coups95, 9kim7** **,** and  **86 others**

 **thekwonsoonyoung** lee chan is now the only  
man i can trust #schemers

_view all 25 comments_

**1004hannie** is there tea that im not aware of?

 **s.coups95** why do you drag this poor child   
into your weird plans and schemes

 **jeonwonwoo96** you all act like soonyoung   
hasn't been involving chan in his weird   
plans since high school

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[**   **chat (7):**   _" upperclass bitches"_ |  **1:23 AM ]**

 

 **father:** soonyoung why are you forcing chan to scheme with you

 **father 2.0:** more important question  
 **fatehr 2.0:** what are you scheming about???

 **10:10:** None Of Your Business  
**10:10:** now leave us to scheming

 **get out of me SHUAmp:** he probably just wanted an excuse to hang out with chan

 **jerry:** his crush is so cute.,.,,,

 **10:10:** I DONT HAVE A CRUSH NOW GO AWAY

 **maknae:** the longer you're in denial is the longer you don't get to kiss chan  
**maknae:** or go on cute dates with him  
**maknae:** or be super romantic together

 **10:10:** hey jihoon?

 **maknae:** yes?

 **10:10:** die

 **father:** soonyoung he has a point

 **10:10:** ! die !

 **father 2.0:** you really need to confess, i mean wonwoo said youve been in love since high school

 **10:10:** WONWOO CAN ROT !!!  
**10:10:** HES A SNEAKY HOE WHO DOESNT TELL HIS BEST FRIEND ANYTHING !!  
**10:10:** also, jeonghan? die

 **jerry:** im assuming soonyoung doesnt like being told what to do by two sets of couples

 **get out of me SHUAmp:** understandable

 **10:10:** i dont like any of u tellin me what 2 do  
**10:10:** im a Rebel  
**10:10:** im Radio Rebel

 **get out me SHUAmp:** "who IS radio rebel?"

 **10:10:** also all of you confessed in dumb ways OR youre single like jihoon and need to zip it

 **maknae:** hey! i know about relationships!

 **father:** you havent ever dated anyone tho?

 **maknae:** yeah, i know nothing about relationships  
**maknae:** i just dont like hearing you whine and the solution is for me to annoy you into confession

 **jerry:** what do you mean we all confessed in dumb ways

 **10:10:** you and shua were like "i-i l-like you,,, k-kinda,, w-wanna kiss y-your f-face..."

 **get out me SHUAmp:** that went Too Far but its not like i can disagree

 **10:10:** and then jeonghan and seungcheol, you two literally fucked and then seungcheol was like "I AM A GENTLEMEN WE ARE GOING ON A DATE"

 **father 2.0:** accurate

 **father:** what about wonwoo?

 **jerry:** yeah, where is he

 **10:10:**  FRICK YOU ALL DISTRACTED ME FROM MY SCHEME  
**10:10:** I BID YOU GOOD DAY SIRS

 **father 2.0:** WHATS THE SCHEME

 **10:10:** I SAID GOOD DAY

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (5):**   _" 97z"_ |  **10:45 AM ]**

 

 **docutie:** i wanna know what the demons were scheming about

 **thicc:** same bc i dont like not knowing gossip

 **tree boy:** can we PLEASE add chan to the chat   
**tree boy:** he would tell us

 **thicc:** i stand by my previous statements  
**thicc:** we talk about too much weird shit in here for him

 

 **[** _kazoo kid (_ memesol97 _)_   **has added and named** _baby (_ leedino  _)_   **to the chat ]**

 

 **thicc:** my opinion no longer matters

 **baby:** wait  
**baby:** is this a groupchat?! am i part of a groupchat?!

 **tree boy:** CHAAAAAANNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **baby:** mingyu hyung!!!

 

 **[** _kazoo kid (_ memesol97  _)_   **has renamed the chat** _" baby boys"_  **]**

 

 **fairy:** thats the worst fucking name for a groupchat ever

 **kazoo kid:** i feel underappreciated

 **docutie:** chan!! what were u and soonyoung scheming about

 **baby:** :(( i cant say

 **thicc:** kick him from the chat

 **tree boy:** WHAT NO

 **thicc:** we brought him here for information  
**thicc:** he is not providing information

 **kazoo kid:** i actually brought him here bc i felt like it  
**kazoo kid:** sorry kwannie :))

 **baby:** sorry guys... hyung asked me to keep it a secret

 **thicc:** and you do whatever hyung says~

 **baby:** what is that supposed to mean

 **docutie:** your crush on him is so cute ;-;

 **baby:** soonyoung? a crush?  
**baby:** i dont  
**baby:** no,..,.,  
**baby:** hes my friend!! has been for years!!  
**baby:** plus im two years younger than him, he would never like me anyways

 **tree boy:** thats a lie oh my god

 **docutie:** he dotes on you all the time

 **baby:** he probably just thinks of me as his little brother

 **kazoo kid:** ok but srsly  
**kazoo kid:** do you like him?

 **baby:** ...  
**baby:** yes.. ok? i like soonyoung hyung

 **fairy:** join dance team

 **baby:** what?

 **fairy:** join dance team  
**fairy:** you'll get time with soonyoung + i can try and help you confess

 **tree boy:** hao has a point

 **docutie:** i think its a great idea !!

 **kazoo kid:** srsly thats the best thing minghao has ever thought up with his weird brain

 **fairy:** why is my brain weird

 **kazoo kid:** you think mingyu is cute

 **tree boy:** i will have you know im adorable

 **thicc:** this is why we dont tell him he's cute  
**thicc:** it fuels his ego

 **baby:** ok... im gonna message soonyoung and join dance team

 **docutie:** yay!! we wish you luck chan!!

 **baby:** ty guys!!

 **thicc:** go get some dick  <3

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG"_ |  **11:35 AM ]**

 

 **leedino:** hey hyung!! so i thought about it and i'd really like to join dance team if theres still any spots open!

 **kwonfire:** OF COURSE THERE ARE  
**kwonfire:** IM SO HAPPY YOURE JOINING YAAAAAAYYYY  
**kwonfire:** MISTER LEE CHAN  
**kwonfire:** OFFICIAL DANCE TEAM MEMBER !!!

 **leedino:** im happy too !

 **kwonfire:** wait omg whens your ballet showcase  
**kwonfire:** im gonna make the whole dance team go

 **leedino:** hyung, you dont have to

 **kwonfire:** shhhh  
**kwonfire:** when and where

 **leedino:** this weekend, in the main theater building

 **kwonfire:** i will be there,,, so will everyone else  
**kwonfire:** to see the incredible lee chan dance ballet

 **leedino:** thank you soonyoung hyung  
**leedino:** you really dont have to come if you dont want to though

 **kwonfire:** shut up ???  
**kwonfire:** what idiot would say no to seeing you dance ??  
**kwonfire:** youre talented plus i love seeing you do stuff you love  
**kwonfire:** makes my heart all warm

 **leedino:** really?

 **kwonfire:** really :D

 

- ♡ -

 

 **soonyoung** @kwonfire • 11m

i am royally fucked #feelingsrweird

 

 **wonwoo** @jeonwonwoo96 • 9m

@kwonfire lol that sux, maybe itd  
help if u did something abt that

 

 **soonyoung** @kwonfire • 5m

@jeonwonwoo96 hey wonwoo?

 

 **wonwoo** @jeonwonwoo96 • 4m

@kwonfire yes?

 

 **soonyoung** @kwonfire • 2m

@jeonwonwoo96 die :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in order to write this chapter and get soonchan right i watched some compilations on youtube and i just wanna say that when soonyoung pushed chan up against the mirror in that predebut video was The Gayest thing ever like... heteros?? quaking! 
> 
> anyways,,, i hope u enjoy!! also ty all so so much for all the sweet comments!! they keep me motivated to keep writing <3 i appreciate them so much and i always appreciate feed back :))
> 
> ps: the 'die' thing is something i legit do when i text and the line of joshua saying 'that went Too Far but its not like i can disagree' is something zee said when i said kyungsoo of exo looked like an egg when hes bald ok bye !!!


	8. hot dog water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donkey kong:** u kno we think like horny teenage boys
> 
>  **bilbo dildo:** some of you act like it too
> 
>  **daddy:** @soonyoung
> 
>  **BFG:** @soonyoung
> 
>  **dad:** @soonyoung
> 
>  **thughao:** @soonyoung
> 
>  **donald duck:** FUCK ALL OF YOU -soonyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for 1.5k hits <3

Liked by  **9kim7, dokyeommie** **,** and  **78 others**

 **jeonwonwoo96** it was a little emBEARrassing  
that it took 15 tries to get the bear

_view all 34 comments_

**thekwonsoonyoung** whomst is that young man

 **s.coups95** wonwoo has a hot date that none   
of us know abt??? smh

 **1004hannie** idk him but his back is cute

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):** _" soft hours"_ |  **4:47 PM ]**

 

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** wonwoo who is that boy u posted  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** his back is cute

 **mcr stan:** my friend  
**mcr stan:** anyways CHANS SHOWCASE IS TODAY

 **dad:** IM SO EXCITED

 **daddy:** he's gonna do so well !!

 **dig bick:** WE BELIEVE IN YOU CHAN

 **jared:** im so excited to see u ballet it up on stage like a true legend

 **donald duck:** aw ty guys!!  
**donald duck:** im highkey nervous bc i want first place but freshman never get first place

 **BFG:** THAT CHANGES TONIGHT  
**BFG:** LEE CHAN WILL WIN AND SHAPE THE COURSE OF THE FUTURE

 **donald duck:** doubtful

 **dig bick:** SHUT  
**dig bick:** lee chan, you beautiful boy, shut ur mouth  
**dig bick:** you are an AMAZING dancer  
**dig bick:** you are going to KILL this performance  
**dig bick:** the competition will be SHOOK bc of how incredible you are  
**dig bick:** you got this, channie !!!

 **donald duck:** wow hyung  
**donald duck:** thank u!!  
**donald duck:** i appreciate the encouragement from all of u a lot  <3  
**donald duck:** i have to get to rehearsal but i will see u all there at 6!

 **thughao:** break a leg chan!

 **donkey kong:** but not literally!!

 

- ♡ -

 

Liked by **joshua_hong** **, leejihoon** and  **94 others**

 **s.coups95** LEE CHAN, THE LEGEND, WON FIRST  
PLACE!!! (also yeah he let me hold the trophy i felt  
like a proud father)

_view all 54 comments_

**9kim7** i'm so proud of my smol friend,,, a ballet  
icon 

 **thekwonsoonyoung** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAH CCCCCCHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN  
IIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE

 **dokyeommie** this pic is squad goals and YES  
CHAN WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" soft hours"_ |  **9:54 PM ]**

 

 **thughao:** chan!! we're still super proud of you

 **daddy:** that dance was incredible too!!!

 **bilbo dildo:** good job kid!

 **donald duck:** ty guys !! im still so so happy !!!!!

 **dad:** we're so happy for you!!

 **BFG:** i knew u could dance, but i didnt know u could dance THAT well

 **mcr stan:** i knew you'd make it big since the day i met u channie

 **donald duck:** sadjskjd pls this is too sweet guys

 **oppa chingu xD:** you have to invite us to all your showcases from now on

 **donald duck:** totally!!! it felt like a mini family with all of us together lol

 **boob seungkwan:** speaking of all of us together  
**boob seungkwan:** where's soonyoung

 **donald duck:** he's with me @ my dorm  
**donald duck:** his phone is dead bc he apparently recorded my entire performance when his phone was on 10%

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** omg tell him to send it to me  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** im so proud of my baby

 **mcr stan:** chan tell soonyoung not to come back to the dorm

 **donald duck:** if u fuck anyone in our dorm i will kill u personally with my bare hands -soonyoung

 **mcr stan:** you didnt need to sign that, only you would threaten to murder me  
**mcr stan:** and im not fucking anyone im just going to sleep and locking the door and if you wake me up bc you dont have your key i will be doing the murdering

 **dad:** no murdering pls

 **donald duck:** fine fine im just gonna crash here then -soonyoung

 **oppa chingu xD:** use a condom

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** hey thats my job to remind them of that!!

 **bilbo dildo:** you know this was a nice conversation  
**bilbo dildo:** and somehow  
**bilbo dildo:** you all managed to turn this to sex

 **jared:** why are you surprised at this point

 **donkey kong:** u kno we think like horny teenage boys

 **bilbo dildo:** some of you act like it too

 **daddy:** @soonyoung

 **BFG:** @soonyoung

 **dad:** @soonyoung

 **thughao:** @soonyoung

 **donald duck:** FUCK ALL OF YOU -soonyoung

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **1:41 AM ]**

 

 **cat:** im in a bad mood

 **dog:** 1\. why  
**dog:** 2\. would u like me to send u memes to calm u down

 **cat:** bc jun fucking ate the last of my ramen stash   
**cat:** and no all your memes are outdated

 **dog:** you were gonna have ramen at 1 am????  
**dog:** also NO i educated myself

 **cat:** yes i live off ramen  
**cat:** by educated yourself do you mean seokmin showed you some

 **dog:** ...  
**dog:** maybe  
**dog:** and im gonna make you something better than ramen sometime

 **cat:** you cook?

 **dog:** yeah i love cooking

 **cat:** well arent you just boyfriend material

 **dog:**  xu minghao, are you flirting with me?

 **cat:** depends  
**cat:** do you enjoy it?

 **dog:** maybe

 **cat:** then no :)

 **dog:** wow ok rude i was gonna send you memes and this is how you repay me

 **cat:** wait still send me memes tho

 **dog:** im a good friend so fine  
**dog:**  


 **cat:** NEVER SEND ME A MEME EVER AGAIN

 **dog:** why ??

 **cat:** THATS FROM LIKE 2015

 **dog:** ...oh

 **cat:** smh ill show u a better meme  
**cat:**  


 **dog:** sorry it took me a minute to respond i was just throwing up bc thats awful

 **cat:** its wonderful and you know it

 **dog:** im going to bed,,, thats gonna haunt in my dreams

 **cat:** have fun with that :)

 **dog:** goodnight haohao ^^

 **cat:** goodnight gyu

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" junshua"_ |  **10:31 AM ]**

 

 **china's prince:** good morning  <3

 **america's prince:** good morning babe ^-^  
**america's prince:** how'd you sleep

 **china's prince:** pretty good despite minghao waking me up at 1am bc i ate the last of his ramen  
**china's prince:** now im out to buy some more bc mister hao needs some or he'll murder me

 **america's prince:** well  
**america's prince:** rooming with minghao sounds similar to rooming with jihoon

 **china's prince:** i can imagine

 **america's prince:** sooo... im assuming you're just walking to buy food so i have a question  
**america's prince:** what was your first impression of me

 **china's prince:** why are you wondering

 **america's prince:** just curious  
**america's prince:** bc i know my first impression of you was pretty good

 **china's prince:** we only exchanged a few words when you were sober  
**china's prince:** i was a little thrown off at jihoons height tbh but i thought you were really cute  
**china's prince:** especially when you smiled  
**china's prince:** your eyes looked like they had stars in them  
**china's prince:** and then i ran into you later and you were drunk off your ass  
**china's prince:** you kept like slurring and stuff so i was like wow i need to get this guy home  
**china's prince:** and so i took you to my dorm and let you crash in my bed

 **america's prince:** stars in my eyes?

 **china's prince:** thats cheesy ik  
**china's prince:** but its true

 **america's prince:** i find it mildly hard to believe

 **china's prince:** oh my god  
**china's prince:  
**  
**china's prince:** there's you with your eyes that have entire galaxies in them

 **america's prince:** i never knew you screenshot that snapchat i sent you oh my god

 **china's prince:** you looked good, can you blame me?  
**china's prince:** anyways what was your first impression of me

 **america's prince:** hmm  
**america's prince:** i think my brain kinda short circuited because you looked like a model  
**america's prince:** but then you made a shitty joke and felt way less intimidating  
**america's prince:** i dont remember much from me being drunk  
**america's prince:** waking up in your bed was weird  
**america's prince:** i was mildly concerned we had done something except you were on the floor so i was like,, nah

 **china's prince:** me?? a model???

 **america's prince:** yes, wen junhui, a model  
**america's prince:**  
  
**america's prince:** proof

 **china's prince:** god im blushing in the middle of trying to buy ramen

 **america's prince:** you made me blush with your other comment so its only fair

 **china's prince:** we're relationship goals

 **america's prince:** hhmmm idk,, wheres the photo evidence

 **china's prince:  
  
****china's prince:** courtesy of seokmin who was actually trying to get a pic of gyu and hao in the back but got us too

 **america's prince:** alright, alright we're cute  
**america's prince:** mingyu and minghao need to get together already though

 **china's prince:** i agree  
**china's prince:** also hao needs to bring back the silver hair and mingyu needs to bring back the black

 **america's prince:** omg i was literally gonna type the same thing  
**america's prince:** same brain, couple goals

 **china's prince:** you know what we should do

 **america's prince:** try and get mingyu and minghao together?

 **china's prince:** yes

 **america's prince:** i completely agree... we can start planning l8r bc i have a class in like 5 min so i gtg

 **china's prince:** have fun, learn a lot  <3

 **america's prince:** ttyl  <3

 

- ♡ -

 

 **chan !!** @leechannie • 15m

i discovered today that if you yell  
'soonyoung hyung fighting' he will  
wake up instantly

 

 **jeonghannie <3** @1004hannie • 10m

@leechannie video or it didn't happen

 

 **chan !!** @leechannie • 5m

@1004hannie say no more  
[fighting.vid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SghYPfqoBcE)

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG"_ |  **3:45 PM ]**

 

 **kwonfire:** ALL I EVER DO  
**kwonfire:** IS SUPPORT YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU  
**kwonfire:** AND YOU POST THAT VIDEO OF ME ON TWITTER  
**kwonfire:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN DONGSAENG

 **leedino:** HYUNG PLS I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY

 **kwonfire:** HOHOHO WE'LL SEE WHOSE LAUGHING IN THE END

 **leedino:** WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

 **kwonfire:** YOU WILL SEE LEE CHAN

 

- ♡ -

 

 **soonyoung** @kwonfire • 4m

if u ask chan whose dongsaeng   
he is, he will immediatley respond  
like this  
[mydongsaeng.vid](http://dino-net.tumblr.com/post/158513391016/%EC%B0%AC%EC%9D%B4-%EB%88%84%EA%B5%AC%EB%8F%99%EC%83%9D%EC%9D%B4%EC%95%BC-carat-land-170211-chani-whos)

 

 **chan !!** @leechannie • 3m

@kwonfire great now jeonghan hyung  
and seungcheol hyung will never  
leave me alone

 

 **soonyoung** @kwonfire • 2m

@leechannie ok i forgive u for that vid  
come hang out w me and they wont  
bother u

 

 **chan !!** @leechannie • 1m

@kwonfire omw faster than the flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okok i wanted something out b4 the comeback which is in,,, 4 hours now AAAAA
> 
> i hope the soonchan, junshua, and gyuhao in this chapter satsifies,, i love using instagram and twitter in here as well as the chat aspects so i hope u all like it as well!!
> 
> i dont think this is as long as usual but im tired so :/ i hope u enjoyed tho!! pls leave some comments and i will have a warm heart on this night <3


	9. w h i p p e d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** aw couple goals, letting ur bf stay over when his roommate is a scary 5ft5 demon man uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huhuhuhu almost 2k hits wtf ty so much for reading and sorry for how long its taken me to update,,, ive been v sick,,, hope u enjoy this !!

**[ chat (13):** _" soft hours"_ |  **11:45 PM ]**

 

 **donkey kong:** good evening

 **mcr stan:** DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

 **donkey kong:**  :)

 **oppa chingu xD:** whats going on

 **donkey kong:** all i wanted was some of wonwoo's ice cream  
**donkey kong:** but no  
**donkey kong:** so i texted mrs. jeon and i have some lovely pictures i would like to share

 **dig bick:** mrs. jeon always comin in clutch, what a queen

 **donald duck:** i miss her :(( she makes the best soondubu stew

 **thughao:** lmao dk why do u have her number

 **donkey kong:**  um, for situations like this duh  
**donkey kong:** i talk to like... half of ur moms  
**donkey kong:** theyre all lovely

 **daddy:** um i thought you all said dk was the nice one in this groupchat

 **donkey kong:** wonwoo is the one not being nice so :(( i can retaliate :((  
**donkey kong:**  


**BFG:** LMAOOOOO EMO SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

 **mcr stan:** IM BEING BULLIED

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** pls,,, wonwoo you were so precious omg

 **dig bick:** is that the one ur mom had on ur fridge

 **mcr stan:** ,,,, yes

 **jared:** the fuck does 'ask enquired' mean

 **mcr stan:**  you're the one who speaks english vernon, how should i know

 **jared:** fair point

 **mcr stan:** also minnie?  
**mcr stan:** watch ur back

 **donkey kong:** you wouldnt

 **mcr stan:** i would and i shall  
**mcr stan:**  


 **dig bick:** WHATS THE FORMULA FOR THAT FUCKIN HAIR LINE

 **donkey kong:** AKLSDISADHJIOAJDAS WHY ME

 **donald duck:** glad to know im not the only one whose had a bad hairstyle

 **oppa chingu xD:** lmao jihoon's is the worst tho

 **bilbo dildo:** why the fuck are we dragging my poor hair choices into this

 **BFG:** of course jihoon appears the second someone says his name

 **bilbo dildo:** i was here the entire time  
**bilbo dildo:** lurking  
**bilbo dildo:** also joshua, send a picture of my old ass hair and i will lock you out of the dorm

 **oppa chingu xD:** i can stay with jun

 **daddy:** he can stay with me

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** aw couple goals, letting ur bf stay over when his roommate is a scary 5ft5 demon man uwu

 **dad:** jeonghan we're breaking up

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** k

 **boob seungkwan:** i aspire to be as carefree as jeonghan hyung

 **dad:** YOU DIDNT EVEN ASK WHY I WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i know you cheollie, its bc i used uwu

 **thughao:** this is a furry free zone pls dont

 **mcr stan:** you heard him, soonyoung, time to leave

 **dig bick:** IM NOT A FURRY

 **mcr stan:** sorry all i heard was "OwO mwistew im not a fuwwy T-T"

 **BFG:** tbh id believe it

 **boob seungkwan:** idk who wouldnt believe it  
**boob seungkwan:** like... its soonyoung

 **dad:** we dont tolerate furries in this household  
**dad:** i have to disown you

 **dig bick:** DAD IM NOT A FURRY

 **dad:** goodbye son

 **bilbo dildo:** have you all ever not been dramatic

 **BFG:** funny joke hyung

 

- ♡ -

 

  **seungkwan.nie**

Liked by  **9kim7, chwevernon,** and  **97 others**

 **seungkwan.nie** god bless being friends with  
a photography major who captures the cutest  
moments between you and your bf ♡( ◡‿◡ )

_view all 36 comments_

**joshua_hong** ur welcome ^^

 **1004hannie** this is so gay,, im soft

 **jeonwonwoo96** literally the smiles oh my god  
this is the cutest shit ive ever seen

 

- ♡ -

 

**1004hannie**

Liked by  **joshua_hong, chwe.vernon,** and  **102 others**

 **1004hannie** i got a boy, handsome boy who took  
all my heart ♡

_view all 56 comments_

**s.coups95** ily but did u just caption this pic with  
snsd lyrics

 **1004hannie** @s.coups95 u know me so well ;)

 **joshua_hong** good thats the only appropriate  
thing to use to caption pictures ive taken

 

- ♡ -

 

**[ new chat created: 12:37 PM ]**

**[**   _moonjun_   **has added** _1004hannie, joshua_hong, dokyeomie97,_   **and** _thebestboo_ **into chat ]**

 **[**   _moonjun_ **has named the chat** _" the gyuhao matchmaking squad"_  **]**

 

 **moonjun:** good evening

 **joshua_hong:** junhui and i have gathered you here today for something very important

 **thebestboo:** im assuming it has something to do with getting minghao and mingyu together

 **moonjun:** correct, mr. boo seungkwan

 **1004hannie:** YES I LOVE MATCHMAKING

 **dokyeomie97:** why am i here? i know seungkwan and jeonghan hyung have blackmail on everyone but i only have blackmail on wonwoo :/

 **joshua_hong:** you're mingyu's roommate and therefore one of the most instrumental pieces in our plan

 **thebestboo:** you two have a plan already?

 **1004hannie:** well tell us and we'll say if its good or not

 **moonjun:** first, i gotta eat the rest of minghao's ramen stash  
**moonjun:** then once he gets annoyed, i'll tell minghao im over at dk and mingyu's so he'll come over  
**moonjun:** dk answers the door and tells him that im hiding in the bathroom and that he'll get me out  
**moonjun:** mingyu is in the dorm,,, now theyre alone  
**moonjun:** dk you gotta lock urself in the bathroom to eavesdrop  
**moonjun:** but then we kinda need to lock them in the dorm

 **thebestboo:** isnt there a lock on the inside of the dorm for them to get out

 **dokyeomie97:** nah you need a key to get in and out  
**dokyeomie97:** its annoying 

 **1004hannie:** but perfect for this plan !!!!!!!!

 **joshua_hong:** we can go over the details again later,,, for now - keep this between us

 **thebestboo:** you got it hyung

 **dokyeomie97:** sir yes sir!

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **6:46 PM ]**

 

 **cat:** gggyyyyuuuu

 **dog:** yes? 

 **cat:** jun is out with joshua and im fuckign tired of ramen  
**cat:** you said you can cook  
**cat:** can you please cook for me ?

 **dog:** hmmm idk :/

 **cat:**  
  
**cat:** pls :(((

 **dog:** IOFHEDFI:OEJ:OFLJNGURSIJvfm.koa'p [z-"WaepoI IJEN

 **cat:** you good?

 **dog:** YEAH  
**dog:** IMF INe  
**dog:** SOrRy i just dropped my phoen an dcaps lock

 **cat:** lmao ok  
**cat:** anyways pls :((

 **dog:** yes,,, i will be over and we can use your dorm's kitchen,,

 **cat:** hell yes

 **dog:** u kno u cant get everything from me just by acting cute :(

 **cat:** its worked so far though ;)

 

- ♡ -

 

 **minghao8**  


Liked by  **moonjun, 1004hannie,** and  **67 others**

 **minghao8** lmao i made him make me food but   
he still looks pretty happy abt it

_view all 24 comments_

**9kim7** i am a free man you didnt make me do  
anything i wouldnt have willingly done

 **dokyeommie97** WHIPPED

 **moonjun** this looks like a date just sayin :)

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _" fine china"_ |  **8:43 PM ]**

 

 **moonjun:** how's your date going ;)

**[ 9:23 PM ]**

**moonjun:** ?? hello  
**moonjun:** where'd you go hao??  
**moonjun:** are you and mingyu MAKING OUT ok??? ;);)

**[ 10:34 PM ]**

**moonjun:** no sarcastic comment??  
**moonjun:** im gonna be back soon so like  
**moonjun:** dont be dead  
**moonjun:** im not paying to have your blood removed from the carpet

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" soft hours"_ |  **11:12 PM ]**

 

 **daddy:** AJSKFHJKDFHKSADJFIAELJFPOEWINLJF  
**daddy:** SDJWPOJWQPOEJDNFBUHEJKFOJENCDHNJKROEND

 **oppa chingu xD:** words, babe, words

 **donald duck:** aw you called him babe thats so cute

 **daddy:** MINGHAO AND MINGYU  
**daddy:** BED  
**daddy:** TOGETHER GRLKSHGDKLFJS

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** WHAT

 **dig bick:** DID THEY FUCK

 **daddy:  
**  
**daddy:** COULDNT GET A FULL PICTURE  
**daddy:** BARELY GOT THAT ONE

 **donkey kong:** AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW

 **boob seungkwan:** OMG THATS SO CUTE

 **dad:** THE GAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **bilbo dildo:** holy fuck

 **mcr stan:** wait is mingyu little spoon?? isnt he wearing a red shirt in hao's last insta post

 **daddy:** NOPE IM PRETTY SURE MINGHAO IS WEARING MINGYUS SHRIT  
**daddy:** WHAT DO I DO I CANT WAKE THEM UP BUT I WANNA GO TO SLEEP AND I DONT WANT THEM THINKING IM WEIRD FOR LETTING THEM DO THAT

 **oppa chingu xD:** junnie, you can crash here

 **bilbo dildo:**  just dont fuck in our dorm pls

 **oppa chingu xD:**  you got it, ji  
**oppa chingu xD:** you good jun?

 **daddy:** YEAH IM ON MY WAY OVER  
**daddy:** sTILL MILDLY SHOOKEDT

 **mcr stan:** ive said it before, ill say it again  
**mcr stan:** too many pining gays in this groupchat  
**mcr stan:** they need to fuck, or kiss, or confess, or something

 **donkey kong:** dont worry!! we have that handled

 **oppa chingu xD:** DK...

 **donkey kong:** lmao what? who said that??? idk i cant recall who is that

 **donald duck:** every1,,, pls sleep,,, im runnin on 2 hrs of sleep and im tired

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** my baby is tired everyone shut the fuck up and go to sleep

 **mcr stan:** **soonyoung's baby

 **dig bick:** HUSHDUHDSIUAHDUHSDIASLJD I HAVENT EVEN SAID ANYTHING, DIE JEON WONWOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okokok so this was a gyuhao chapter ik ik BUT APPARENTLY GYU AND HAO ARE ROOMMATES NOW ???? LIKE THESE FUCKERS ACTUALLY CLEARED OUT A STORAGE ROOM AND ARE ROOMMATES ICONIC ( heres the [source](https://twitter.com/ohmywonwoo/status/929990025235664897) )
> 
> ALSO THE FUCKIN COMEBACK ???? INCREDIBLE I COULD NOT CONTAIN MYSELF ITS SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE EVERY SINGLE SONG AND THE MV IS AMAZING !!! my fave songs r clap, lilili yabbay, flower, bring it, and hello ^^
> 
> p.s. i hope minghao's waist feels better and that he's resting well :(( and monsta x's comeback was also iconique like dramarama ?? incredible!!


	10. what the fuck dk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donald duck:** i hate this family
> 
>  **BFG:** hi i hate this family im dad
> 
>  **oppa chingu xD:** oh mingyu  
>  **oppa chingu xD:** thats not how it works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOWOW 2k HITS ??? TY SO MUCH <3 (btw sorry for the spotty updates lately adksdjkj)

**dokyeommie97**

Liked by  **minghao8, moonjun,** and  **86 others**

 **dokyeommie97** do you ever pass by vernon's  
room and wonder if he's okay bc i do a lot

_view all 87 comments_

**chwe.vernon** i put it in english so i could be   
existential in peace how the fuck did you   
figure it out

 **dokyeommie97** @chwe.vernon google   
translate

 **seungkwan.nie** does he forget it is MY room  
too and as much as i love him i refuse to put  
up with this in our window

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" soft hours"_ |  **9:46 AM ]**

 

 **thughao:** demons  
**thughao:**  every last one of you

 **BFG:** ^^^^^^^^^

 **dad:** we're demons for thinking you two cuddling is adorable?

 **BFG:** YES

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:**  


**thughao:** we just fell asleep why were you all freaking out

 **dig bick:** that was not 'just falling asleep'  
**dig bick:** you two were   
**dig bick:** s p o o n i n g

 **BFG:** ITS NOT LIKE WE CHOSE TO  
**BFG:** sorry caps lock was on  
**BFG:** anyways i repeat that its not like we purposely did it

 **thughao:** yeah we were watching a movie and then woke up later ta da the end

 **mcr stan:** then your subconscious did it  
**mcr stan:** i can agree that you were asleep and therefore you couldnt have done it purposely  
**mcr stan:** but that just means subconsciously you both wanted to and so you did

 **donkey kong:** the man with the big words is right

 **thughao:** suddenly i cant read

 **jared:** HEY THATS MY JOB

 **thughao:** thats an outdated meme

 **jared:** im kicking you from the chat

 **boob seungkwan:** he's not wrong, vine is dead

 **jared:** VINE IS NOT FUCKING DEAD  
**jared:** VINE WILL LIVE ON FOREVER THROUGH MY MEMORY

 **bilbo dildo:** vine died when nash grier joined 

 **donald duck:** jihoon hyung how do you know who that is and why

 **bilbo dildo:** we all had dark times  
**bilbo dildo:** i will leave again if any of you ask questions

 **dad:** back to the topic at hand  
**dad:** mingyu and minghao are cute together

 **daddy:** wow i woke up to such wonderful tea already

 **thughao:** junhui come back to this dorm and i will personally cut off your balls

 **daddy:** um no i need those

 **oppa chingu xD:** i would appreciate you not cutting off my boyfriend's balls

 **BFG:** jun im ready to square tf up w you in a dennys parking lot at 2am

 **donkey kong:** GASP

 **mcr stan:** did you just write out gasp

 **donkey kong:** WAS THAT A MEME  
**donkey kong:** DID MINGYU USE A RELEVANT MEME  
**donkey kong:**  


**thughao:** its not even that good of a meme

 **BFG:** hey :(  
**BFG:** its a start

 **jared:** its a sad start

 **boob seungkwan:** says the boy who references a shitty vine with his username

 **jared:** iTS NOT SHITTY

 

- ♡ -

 

**s.coups95**

Liked by  **jeonwonwoo96, minghao8,** and  **97 others**

 **s.coups95** "sorry babe i gotta go, my rides here"  
-yoon jeonghan, 2017

_view all 34 comments_

**9kim7** jeonghan: calls himself a demon in the   
chat / also jeonghan: im an angel :)

 **1004hannie** @9kim7 i can b yuor deville or yuor   
angle ;););;;);)

 **s.coups95** @1004hannie pls never speak to me  
again, thank u

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" soft hours_ _"_ |  **9:21 PM ]**

 

 **donald duck:** im bored :/

 **dad:** hi bored im dad

 **mcr stan:** hi bored im dad

 **daddy:** hi bored im dad

 **donald duck:** i hate this family

 **BFG:** hi i hate this family im dad

 **oppa chingu xD:** oh mingyu  
**oppa chingu xD:** thats not how it works

 **BFG:** im trying my best

 **thughao:** a+ for effort i guess

 **donald duck:** we shld all hang out !!

 **bilbo dildo:** no

 **donald duck:** hyung :(

 **mcr stan:** sorry guys seokmin and i are seeing justice league

 **BFG:** YOU MOTHER FUCKERS YOU SAID I COULD GO

 **mcr stan:** woops

 **dig bick:** HOW DARE YOU  
**dig bick:** ME, A KNOWN GAY FOR SUPERMAN

 **mcr stan:** just go see it with chan  
**mcr stan:** lol autocorrect i meant go see it with someone else :)

 **dig bick:** rot

 **donald duck:** thats a good idea!! do you want to go see it soonyoung?

 **dig bick:** YES  
**dig bick:** uh but like the next showing  
**dig bick:** bc im dying in the dance studio rn

 **daddy:** what a coincidence same except soonyoung has been sitting on his phone for the past 10 minutes

 **dig bick:** I WAS TAKING A BREAK

 **daddy:** break over, lets go

 **dad:**  guys  
**dad:** i annoyed hannie and asked him for water and he handed me a glass of ice and told me to 'wait' :/

 **oppa chingu xD:** that does not surprise me

 **bilbo dildo:** you know seungcheol i always wondered what it was like to date jeonghan

 **dad:** its interesting  
**dad:** one time i took a sip of his coffee and it was straight whiskey  
**dad:** another time we were watching a movie and he started sighing so i asked whats wrong and he said it was bc i hadnt looked at him the entire movie

 **boob seungkwan:** did you explain that you were  
**boob seungkwan:** you know  
**boob seungkwan:** watching the movie

 **dad:** yes but he didnt care  
**dad:** my favorite thing he's done tho is unbutton my shirt in front of everyone

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** WHAGDSJSAD WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THAT

 **BFG:** that was emotionally scarring

 **jared:** 'im so glad we're alone cheollie~'   
**jared:** 'no, no we aren't'

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** YOU ALL THINK ITS INTERESTING DATING ME  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** TRY DATING SEUNGCHEOL  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** one time we were out shopping for food and i just called to the end of the aisle if he wanted any chips and he shouted back 'IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS'

 **boob seungkwan:**  


**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** also theres the time i went into the kitchen at 4am to get water and he was making fucking pudding

 **dad:** it was finals week i lost control of my life

 **bilbo dildo:** its times like this im glad im not in a relationship

 **thughao:** wow that was a lot to process

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** i lov him or whatever tho

 **dad:** yeah i lov him too

 **BFG:** since we're sorta on the topic  
**BFG:** seungkwan whats it like dating vernon

 **boob seungkwan:** oh boy  
**boob seungkwan:** he has a habit of calling me bro after we make out

 **jared:** ok but ur the one who says 'dont call me bro when i just had my tongue in your mouth'

 **BFG:** nevermind i dont wanna know what your relationship is like anymore

 

- ♡ -

 

**moonjun**

Liked by  **leejihoon, s.coups95,** and  **78 others**

 **moonjun** they say they're monitoring the dance  
but all i see is flirting

_view all 45 comments_

**1004hannie** JAHSFJKAHDJAS IM SO SOFT WHAT

 **jeonwonwoo96** this is so gay wtf

 **thekwonsoonyoung** ROT

 

- ♡ -

 

**minghao8**

Liked by  **1004hannie, 9kim7** **,** and  **65 others**

 **minghao8** wonwoo just came to monitor our  
dance for us and now he's stuck with this right  
in front of his salad

_view all 28 comments_

**s.coups95** damn soonyoung looks abt 5 seconds  
away from actually murdering you

 **minghao8** @s.coups95 he really was

 **thekwonsoonyoung** @s.coups95 i really was

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" soft hours"_ |  **11:38 PM ]**

 

 **dad:** sometimes i worry about seokmin

 **BFG:** i mean yeah

 **boob seungkwan:** thats valid

 **jared:** fair but why

 **dad:** bc he just asked me how many toes i personally had

 **oppa chingu xD:** we all have the same number of toes...

 **donkey kong:** dont know unless you ask

 **oppa chingu xD:** well how many toes do you have?

 **donkey kong:** you mean in my mouth or

 **oppa chingu xD:** blocked have a nice day

 

 **[** _oppa chingu xD (_ joshua_hong _)_ **renamed the chat to** _" what the fuck dk"_  **]**

 

 **donkey kong:** hm. good question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was kinda just a filler chapter that wasnt rlly ship focused,, i guess you could say it skewed towards soonchan but thAT VLIVE WOWOWOW IT WAS SO CUTE HE JSUT SAT RIGHT DOWN ON SOONYOUNGS LAP and yes a lot of this chapter is like... tumblr post based bc I Get Inspired By Tumblr
> 
> also,, i got my teen, age album in the mail today and i fuckign got the mingyu stand up,,, mingyu is my ult svt bias (not my overall ult bias) and i,,, i could feel my heart swell with the love i have for him
> 
> follow me on twitter and/or tumblr for more of my shenanigans:  
> @gyuhaao (twitter)  
> @comfyeol (tumblr)
> 
> and pls leave comments (and a kudos if u want) bc they make me happy <3  
> ps: bts killed it at the amas and im so proud


	11. the gyuhao support squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donald duck:** so let me get this straight
> 
>  **BFG:** more like let me run this BI you
> 
>  **mcr stan:** let's see how this PANS out
> 
>  **daddy:** i'm gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 KUDOS!!! WOOWOWOWOWOWOW I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND HOW/WHY PPL LIKE THIS FIC BUT IM SO HAPPY YOU DO !

**9kim7**

****

Liked by  **leejihoon, s.coups95,** and  **95 others**

 **9kim7** thank you to taehyung for letting me  
model for your photography project and getting  
such awesome pics !! ( more on his photgraphy  
page - @picsbyv )

_view all 78 comments_

**picsbyv** thank u 4 modeling 4 me !!

 **1004hannie** damn you look like a WHOLE man

 **moonjun** wow minghao was drooling staring at  
his phone and now i see why

 

**- ♡ -**

 

**joshua_hong**

Liked by  **9kim7, 1004hannie,** and  **78 others**

 **joshua_hong**  ♥ hello angel 그림 같아 하늘을 보면  
너만 보여 ♥ (aka thank you to my bf for being my  
model for photography and also being the most  
beautiful man on earth)

_view all 34 comments_

**thekwonsoonyoung** wow i cant believe joshua  
and minghao are both dating models

 **minghao8** @thekwonsoonyoung literally rot

 **moonjun** the exo lyrics make this 103923 times  
better babe

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **1:48 PM ]**

 

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** hey can some1 whose down by the music buildings lend me some money for coke 

 **jared:** will fifty thousand won be ok?

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** it's only two thousand won ???

 **jared:** that's p cheap, whose your dealer?

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** IM TALKING ABOUT SODA  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** COCA-COLA IS COKE

 **boob seungkwan:** jesus vernon

 **dad:** im not surprised tbh

 **jared:** UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**jared:** FOR CLARIFICATION  
**jared:** I DONT DO DRUGS  
**jared:** I WAS JUST CURIOUS

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** EVEN IF YOU DONT DO DRUGS WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME I DO COKE

 **jared:** IDK I DONT JUDGE

 **donald duck:** i cant believe drugs are tearing this family apart

 **bilbo dildo:** i expected nothing less

 **donald duck:** so let me get this straight

 **BFG:** more like let me run this BI you

 **mcr stan:** let's see how this PANS out

 **daddy:** i'm gay

 **donald duck:** ANYWAYS LIKE I WAS SAYING  
**donald duck:** jeonghan doesn't do hard drugs, vernon doesnt (???) either, and jihoon expected drugs to ruin our friendship

 **bilbo dildo:** yup

 **jared:** I DONT

 **boob seungkwan:** can confirm if he did hard drugs i wouldnt date him

 **dig bick:** guys joshua is crying

 **daddy:** WHAT WHY

 **dig bick:** chanyeol's teaser just dropped

 **oppa chingu xD:** HES NOT EVEN MY BIAS  
**oppa chingu xD:** HES JSUT SO PRETTY 

 **daddy:** i just got super worried and it's just over,,, exo teasers

 **oppa chingu xD:** SHUT MISTER 'IM A CASUAL LISTENER'  
**oppa chingu xD:** IM PHYSICALLY NOT PREPARED FOR WHEN THEY DROP JONGDAES

 **MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** FUCK THEY DROPPED CHANYEOLS???  
**MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND:** MY ACTUAL HUSBAND????

 **oppa chingu xD:** YES

 

 **[** _MY FUCKIGN BOYFRIEND (_ 1004hannie _)_   **has changed their name to** _chanyeol's bitch_   **]**

 

 **dig bick:** is this what it sounds like when i talk about shinee

 **donald duck:** yes yes it does

 **donkey kong:** I HEARD EXO IM HERE  
**donkey kong:** I STARTED SCREAMING WHEN I SAW BAEKHYUNS

 **oppa chingu xD:**  
  
**oppa chingu xD:**  


**daddy:** lmao joshua you're such an exo-l

 **thughao:** WOW I CANT BELIEVE JUN DIDNT TELL JOSHUA HOW MUCH OF A SONE HE IS

 **dad:** oh no  
**dad:** minghao just said the s word

 **daddy:** YES IM A SONE SUE ME I WOULD DIE FOR SNSD AND ANY GIRL GROUP  
**daddy:** IM A GIRL GROUP STAN FIRST AND A PERSON SECOND

 **chanyeol's bitch:** its official, the gates to hell have opened

 **oppa chingu xD:** my boyfriend,,, is a sone,,,   
**oppa chingu xD:** IVE NEVER FELT MORE BLESSED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

 **daddy:** WAIT BABE YOU LIKE SNSD

 **oppa chingu xD:** I WOULD DIE FOR THEM IN A MINUTE

 **daddy:** THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

 **oppa chingu xD:** THERE ARE REAL TEARS

 **bilbo dildo:** as romantic as this is  
**bilbo dildo:** can you suck each others dicks in private chat

 **dig bick:** oh sorry jihoon i forgot you only stan magcon

 **bilbo dildo:** YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH KWON SOONYOUNG

 **mcr stan:** LMAO WHAT

 **dig bick:** yes you heard me right  
**dig bick:** we wondered how jihoon knew of nash grier  
**dig bick:** well wonder no more  
**dig bick:** i found his old magcon twitter  
**dig bick:** he was a hardcore stan :)

 

 **[** _bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

 **BFG:** dk?

 **donkey kong:** that would be a total of three times now that jihoon has left the chat

 

 **[** _jared (_ memesol97  _)_   **has added** _bilbo dildo (_ leejihoon _)_ **to the chat ]**

 

 **bilbo dildo:** i'll stay but i'm not going to be happy about it

 **boob seungkwan:** hey remember when this conversation was just about jeonghan hyung wanted coca cola? that was nice

 

- ♡ -

  

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **11:34 PM ]**

 

 **cat:** im .5 seconds away from launching myself out my window  
**cat:** this japanese test might just kill me

 **dog:** im at the same point tbh,,, ive been staring at the same page on the textbook for at least 10 minutes

 **cat:** i can barely comprehend korean sometimes idk how takuya expects me to be able to understand literally anything ever in japanese

 **dog:** you shldve stuck with chinese and gotten an easy a

 **cat:** what can i say  
**cat:** i love to make myself want to die

 **dog:** want me to come over so we can study together?

 **cat:** yes pls i think ur the only hope i have for not failing this test

 **dog:** dont put that much faith in me  
**dog:** but i'll be over in like five

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _" cat and dog"_ |  **12:10 AM ]**

 

 **dog:** sorry  
**dog:** im really sorry  
**dog:** i wasn't thinking you just looked really cute and i just did it and im sorry

 **cat:**  jesus christ mingyu are you that thick headed?  
**cat:** did you miss the part where i fucking kissed you back?

 **dog:** waht  
**dog:** yes yes i did  
**dog:** kinda got distracted with the whole 'holy fuck i just kissed minghao uh shit'

 **cat:** okay well  
**cat:** i like you back  
**cat:** i reciprocated the kiss  
**cat:** so if you could get back here and kiss me again that'd be great

 **dog:** my brain literally cannot process whats happening right now but ill be there in one second

 **cat:** where did you even run to

 **dog:** wonwoo and soonyoung's dorm  
**dog:** i didn't have a lot of time to think about where to run to so i just opened the door  
**dog:** minor mistake but i will fill you in about why in five seconds

 **cat:** hurry up, ive spent long enough pining after you, i want to spend time kissing you too

 **dog:** HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YESE IM ON MY WIAY

 

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (5):**   _" the gyuhao match making squad"_ | **12:21** **PM ]**

 

 **moonjun:** PLAN CANCELLED PLAN CANCELLED PLAN CANCELLED

 **1004hannie:** WHAT WHY

 **moonjun:** I JST FUCKIGN WALKED IN ON HAO ON TOP OF MINGYU AND I NEED TO BLEACH MY FUCKIGN EYES

 **thebestboo:** pics or it didnt happen

 **moonjun:** WHY THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE TAKEN PICS

 **1004hannie:** WERE THEY FUCKING

 **moonjun:** NO MINGHAO JUST HAD HIS TONGUE DOWN MINGYUS THROAT

 **joshua_hong:** these are the kind of images i dont need or want in my head and yet here they are

 **moonjun:** babe i need a place to stay :/ 

 **joshua_hong:** you can stay @ my dorm whenever, junnie

 **1004hannie:** i just threw up in my mouth a little bc of how cute that was

 **thebestboo:** i dont think thats how finding things cute works

 **1004hannie:** shut up  
**1004hannie:** rip the match making squad, we didnt do shit but we rlly support gyuhao

 

 **[** _moonjun_   **renamed the chat** _" the gyuhao support squad"_  **]**

 

 **thebestboo:** much more accurate

 **1004hannie:** im so happy for those two crazy kids

 **joshua_hong:** it was about damn time

 **thebestboo:** yeah srsly i was tired of mingyu bringing up his crush everytime we hung out

 **moonjun:** at least you didn't live with minghao  
**moonjun:** i caught him stalking mingyu's instagram twice a day it was so bad

 **1004hannie:** i dont blame him, mingyu looks like a damn model

 **dokyeommie97:**  I LOVE YOU ALL BUT IM RLLY SLEEPY SO SH TY ILY

 **1004hannie:** sleep well ~

 **moonjun:** night guys

 **joshua_hong:** gn!

 **thebestboo:** goodnight !!

 

- ♡ -

 

**minghao8**

Liked by  **chwe.vernon, s.coups95, and 68 others**

 **minghao8** MM.

_view all 45 comments_

**moonjun** glad to see this was the aftermath of me  
walking in on you two with your tongues down  
each others throats

 **9kim7**  @moonjun YOU WALKED IN WHERE WHAT  
NOW WHEN

 **leejihoon**  @moonjun you could have kept that to   
yourself but you didnt

 

- ♡ -

 

**lee99chan  
**

****

Liked by  **1004hannie, moonjun,** and  **76 others**

 **lee99chan** i h8 posting selfies but i havent posted  
one in a month so.,,, heres me ^^

_view all 29 comments_

**1004hannie** MY SWEET BABY ANGEL WHO I WOULD   
DIE FOR

 **thekwonsoonyoung** LEE CHAN HOW DO YOU LOOK  
SO ADORABLE YET HOT AT THE SAME TIME ITS NOT   
FAIR

 **lee99chan** @thekwonsoonyoung ?? you find me hot ??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soonchan cliff hanger :)
> 
> anD FINALLY the pining boys get their shit together and make out,, gyuhao is here folks! 
> 
> its thanksgiving so i just wanted to say im thankful for all of the ppl who read and enjoy the content i post! i hope everyone has a great day even if you dont celebrate it <3


	12. naruto fanfiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donkey kong:** Sasuke slid his hands in Naruto's pants and grinned when the blond whimpered.  
>  **donkey kong:** wrong chat  
>  **donkey kong:** how yall doin :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed jeonghan's username in the upperclass bitches chat to father 2.0 bc the mother joke is old and not funny in general !!! hope u enjoy <3

**[ chat (7):**   _" upperclass bitches"_ |  **3:09 PM ]**

 

 **10:10:** mistakes were made today lads  
**10:10:** sorry to say i have to go die right now immediatley

 **get out me SHUAmp:** what happened?

 **emo son:** he told chan he finds him hot and instead of just confessing he's gonna die

 **father 2.0:** jesus christ just tell him you like him soonyoung

 **father:** yeah honestly at this point you're making it out to be a bigger deal than it is

 **10:10:** i cant confess ok?  
**10:10:** its easy for you guys to say bc you didnt literally grow up with each other  
**10:10:** imagine having been in love with someone since you were 8 years old and didnt even know why you felt that way towards another guy  
**10:10:** i didnt even know i was gay and it scared the shit out of me  
**10:10:** when chan and wonwoo would talk about girls i felt like i didnt even belong  
**10:10:** and yeah they both ended up not being straight  
**10:10:** but i didnt know that at the time and i had never felt so alone  
**10:10:** and ive been in love with chan for so long its like  
**10:10:** the thought of saying what i've been hiding for years makes me wanna throw up

 **get out me SHUAmp:** oh geez

 **father 2.0:** soonyoungie its ok  
**father 2.0:** no one's making you do anything ok? none of us have gone through what you have so we're sorry for telling you what to do

 **father:** yeah, im sorry dude  
**father:** i had never thought about that

 **emo son:** sigh  
**emo son:** sorry soons  
**emo son:** just know i got ur back dude

 **jerry:** we all have your back  
**jerry:** if you ever want to confess, we're all here for help

 **10:10:** even jihoon?

 **maknae:** do i have to be?

 **10:10:** :(

 **maknae:** fine. yes. i'm here for you too.

 **get out me SHUAmp:** this chat got sad fast

 **jerry:** anyways whats your plan then soonyoung?

 **10:10:** my only plans for this situation are to die  
**10:10:** any suggestions other than confession and dying?

 **emo son:** i got nothing

 **father:** me neither

 **father 2.0:** yeah.. its not like you can avoid chan forever

 **10:10:** WAIT  
**10:10:** STROKE OF GENIUS  
**10:10:** I'LL DO THAT

 **jerry:** what?

 **get out me SHUAmp:** no, soonyoung, you can't!

 **maknae:** that'll cause more problems than it'll solve

 **10:10:** sorry i can't hear you over the geniusness that is my brain

 **emo son:** i'm just going to remind you how you insane you went that month when chan went to america  
**emo son:** it'll be that but worse bc you have to deal with him actually being around you

 **10:10:**  i cant recall what you're talking abt, idk a wonwoo  
**10:10:** operation ignore my favorite, channie, is a go :(((

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (6):**   _" baby boys"_ |  **3:09 PM ]**

 

 **baby:** what does it mean when a guy calls you hot on instagram?

 **fairy:** he wants your dick

 **docutie:** he wants to date/fuck

 **thicc:** he's on the verge of sliding into ur dms

 **kazoo kid:** he wants to fuck u

 **tree boy:** he is soonyoung and is too awkward to confess

 **fairy:** wait soonyoung did that?

 **tree boy:** yes yes he did  
**tree boy:** he likes you channie!!!

 **baby:** idk maybe he meant it platonically...

 **thicc:** no one calls someone hot platonically

 **fairy:** thats true, i said that when i called mingyu hot it was platonic  
**fairy:** then i made out with him

 **tree boy:** wE aReNt DiScUsSiNg ThAt

 **docutie:** trust ur cool hyungs channie

 **kazoo kid:** yeah!! plus we're all in relationships minus seokmin

 **tree boy:** isn't that an old joke?

 **kazoo kid:** ??? whats an old joke

 **tree boy:** sigh  
**tree boy:** nvm

 **thicc:** ok??? 

 **docutie:** anYWAY chan u shld text him !!!!

 **baby:** yeah.... i should!  
**baby:** ty for the help guys  <3

 **fairy:** np!

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):**   _"_ _LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG_ _"_ |  **3:39 PM** **]**

 

 **leedino:** hey soonyoung hyung!!  
**leedino:** can we maybe meet up? i wanna talk to you abt something

 **kwonfire:** oh  
**kwonfire:** sorry channie  
**kwonfire:** im busy

 **leedino:** thats ok!!  
**leedino:** just lmk when you're free!!!

 **kwonfire:** idk when that'll be

 **leedino:** whenever!! im not super busy rn 

 **kwonfire:** k

 **leedino:** is everything ok? u seem not yourself

 **kwonfire:** im fine  
**kwonfire:** i gtg study

 **leedino:** ...  
**leedino:** ok i guess

 **kwonfire:** bye

 **leedino:** bye...

 

- ♡ -

 

**minghao8**

Liked by  **moonjun, 1004hannie,** and  **71 others**

 **minghao8** need me a man like this ♥♥♥♥♥

_view all 32 comments_

**9kim7** hey :)

 **minghao8** @9kim7 no

 **9kim7** im literally the guy in the picture and   
your boyfriend

 

- ♡ -

 

**dokyeommie97**

Liked by  **leejihoon, minghao8,** and  **69 others**

 **dokeyeommie97** you may think thats a real book,  
but it's 100% naruto fanfiction

_view all 45 comments_

**9kim7** wow i never knew you could take such  
aesthetic photos, im proud

 **thekwonsoonyoung** LMAOOO 69 LIKES

 **thekwonsoonyoung** wait no theres 71 actually,,,  
im a fool

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):** _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **6:04 PM ]**

 

 **donkey kong:** Sasuke slid his hands in Naruto's pants and grinned when the blond whimpered.  
**donkey kong:** wrong chat  
**donkey kong:** how yall doin :)

 **dad:** i was going to suggest we change the chat name but nvm it still stands

 **mcr stan:** minnie,,, why

 **chanyeol's bitch:** you rlly weren't kidding when you said you were reading naruto fanfiction on insta

 **donkey kong:** that wasnt me in the photo

 **dig bick:** then who was it ??

 **donkey kong:** one of my friends! ^^

 **bilbo dildo:** but it wasnt any of us 

 **donkey kong:** well im allowed to have other friends ya kno

 **BFG:** no you arent

 **thughao:** no you arent

 **boob seungkwan:** is this gonna be a thing now that yall are fuckin

 **BFG:** oh dont act like you and vernon dont do it all the time  
**BFG:** and we arent just fucking

 **jared:** you two??? are dating???  
**jared:** also idk what ur talking abt ive never said the same thing as kwannie ever

 **thughao:** we officially are dating yes

 **bilbo dildo:** sigh,,, and the single squad grows smaller  
**bilbo dildo:** just me, seokmin, wonwoo, soonyoung, and chan

 **BFG:** lmao yeah sure

 **bilbo dildo:** whats that supposed to mean?

 **BFG:** nothing, i just think you guys shld grow up a little

 **chanyeol's bitch:** you good, gyu??

 **BFG:** yeah yeah im chill

 **dad:** ok... ANYWAYS  
**dad:**  who wants to get some italian food?

 **dig bick:** after you killed jihoon? i think the fuck not you trick ass bitch

 **chanyeol's bitch:** yall down for a movie night at mine and cheol's instead?

 **dig bick:** ME ME ME ME IM DOWN

 **thughao:** oh hell yeah

 **daddy:** jisoo n i can go ~

 **mcr stan:** depends on the movie

 **chanyeol's bitch:** sigh  
**chanyeol's bitch:** you want moana?

 **mcr stan:** ... maybe

 **donkey kong:** YES THEN WE CAN SING ALONG!!!

 **boob seungkwan:** no offense seokmin but i hear u everyday in class,,, pls no more

 **mcr stan:** shut up seungkwan dont act like u wouldnt sing along too

 **boob seungkwan:** YOU KNOW WHAT  
**boob seungkwan:** thats fair

 **chanyeol's bitch:** ok so moana it is!

 **donald duck:** i can go!!

 **bilbo dildo:** i guess i'll go,, i have nothing better to do

 **dad:** wow is this what affection from jihoon feels like?

 **bilbo dildo:** maybe  
**bilbo dildo:** you all know i love you at this point whatever

 **dig bick:** sorry guys i cant go anymore

 **donald duck:** aww, come on !! it'll be fun!!

 **dig bick:** i have stuff to do.

 **BFG:** damn are you ok? ive never seen you use punctuation before

 **dig bick:** i'm fine. i just can't go. why is this such a big deal?

 **daddy:** soonyoung...

 **dig bick:** i'm busy! ok! just watch the movie without me, it's fine!!

 **chanyeol's bitch:** you're fucking coming soonyoung  
**chanyeol's bitch:** i know exactly what ur bs reason is and thats not a good enough reason not to come  
**chanyeol's bitch:** we talked abt it earlier and i get where ur coming from, but ur plan is only going to end up with someone getting hurt so please just come to movie night

 **dig bick:** i  
**dig bick:** fine

 **chanyeol's bitch:** glad we solved that :)

 **oppa chingu xD:** i forget how persuasive jeonghan is somehow

 **dad:** how do you forget the entirety of our freshman year  
**dad:** it was 99% jeonghan persuading us to do things

 **chanyeol's bitch:** you're welcome xoxo

 **jared:** LIT OKAY SO MOANA MOVIE NIGHT IN A FEW HRS AT JEONGHAN AND SEUNGCHEOLS PLACE  
**jared:** ILL BRING VODKA

 **dad:** one - no bc im not dealin with yall drunk in my home  
**dad:** two - you act like we dont already have that

 **chanyeol's bitch:** *OUR house

 **daddy:** quick question, how do you guys have enough money for an apartment??

 **chanyeol's bitch:** its called my uncle is a real estate agent who knows the landlord and got me a deal on renting

 **daddy:** suddenly i need to meet your uncle right now

 **dad:** see all of u in a few hrs

 **chanyeol's bitch:** that includes you soonyoung

 **dig bick:** yeah yeah whtvr

 

- ♡ -

 

**1004hannie**

Liked by  **moonjun, minghao8,** and  **104 others**

 **1004hannie** please remove these gays from my  
household

_view all 51 comments_

**s.coups95** **OUR household

 **1004hannie** @s.coups95 woops :))) an honest   
mistake

 **9kim7** we aren't even being that gay, you haven't  
even seen us kiss yet smh

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **3:47 AM ]**

 

 **dad:** i have an important question

 **jared:** do you like never sleep

 **dad:** u have no place to criticize me, you're awake too

 **jared:** good point  
**jared:** what's your question

 **dad:** ok u cant judge me

 **jared:** its 3am im not gonna judge

 **dad:** ok  
**dad:** what the fuck is a pupper

 **jared:** basically its a tiny doggo

 **dad:** well then whats a doggo?

 **jared:** a big ol' pupper

 **bilbo dildo:** CAN YOU BOTH GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 **dad:** this conversation isnt over vernon

 **jared:** we will continue at breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soonchan,,, sign soonyoung is a stubborn boy. also whats up with mingyu??? ;) if you got the reference to sevenscheme ur a legend lmfao im so excited for v.2 but if jihoon dies again im gonna FIGHT
> 
> anyways i hope u all enjoyed !! feel free to (pls) leave a comment or hmu on twt/tumblr!!!
> 
> tumblr: @comfyeol  
> twitter: @gyuhaao
> 
> ps: sorry for not having updated in awhile,,, school has been stressful plus its hell week and im on stage crew lmfao


	13. hewwo cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **DK:** mingyu just accept the fact that ur dog is on crack
> 
>  **tiddy boy:** SHES BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent updated in,.... awhile sorry lmao it was just one thing after another and i wasnt able to but !! heres an update!!
> 
> also shout out to the hewwo cult for my inspo esp w aji WHO I LOVE
> 
> anyways enjoy <3

**[ chat (13):**   _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **12:09 PM ]**

 

 **bilbo dildo:** hello im back in seoul from busan  
**bilbo dildo:** how did everyones christmas go?

 **chanyeol's bitch:** seungcheol had more fun with my family than i did

 **dad:** u shldnt be surprised it happens every year  
**dad:** u get wine drunk so i bond w ur family 

 **bilbo dildo:** you didnt go home this year seungcheol?

 **dad:** nah hannie came to my family last yr so we switched off this yr

 **BFG:** thats cute

 **mcr stan:** thats gay

 **thughao:** i had a better christmas than expected  
**thughao:** watching mingyu chase around his dog was fun

 **daddy:** thats even gayer bc u went and spent christmas with mingyu~~~

 **BFG:** he couldnt afford to go home i wasnt gonna leave my bby here alone for the holidays :(

 **thughao:** do me a favor and never call me bby again thank you

 **jared:** do yall not use couple names

 **thughao:** fuck no

 **BFG:** hey hey minghao  
**BFG:** do you know what bees make?

 **thughao:** honey?

 **BFG:** yes dear?

 **dig bick:** that was smooth as fuck

 

 **[** _BFG (_ 9kim7  _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

 **boob seungkwan:** why did mingyu leave

 **daddy:** he blocked him

 **thughao:** i blocked him

 **donkey kong:** he's gonna take my phoneiIHDFILSFJEKF  
**donkey kong:** ADD ME BACK YOU MEANIE -mingyu

 **thughao:** no

 **donkey kong:** :((( -mingyu

 **thughao:** fine

 **bilbo dildo:** minghao is whipped

 

 **[** _thughao (_ haohao8 _)_   **added** _BFG (_ 9kim7 _)_   **to the chat ]**

 **[**   _BFG (_ 9kim7 _)_   **has renamed**   _mingyu's baby_   _(_  haohao8 _)_   **]**

 

 **mingyu's baby:** are you kidding me

 **mcr stan:** wasnt no PDA a chat rule or am i forgetting

 **BFG:** let me be gay in peace

 **donkey kong:** i am ... disgusted

 **mingyu's baby:** wonwoo  & seokmin u shouldnt be talking :)

 **oppa chingu xD:** what does that mean

 **BFG:** nothing

 **donkey kong:** nothing

 **mingyu's baby:** nothing

 **mcr stan:** nothing

 **chanyeol's bitch:** no one tells us anything anymore  
**chanyeol's bitch:** remember when i used to know all the gossip :( i miss those days

 **dig bick:** i dont  
**dig bick:** u blackmailed me three times 

 **chanyeol's bitch:** i dont recall

 **dig bick:** YOU FOUND THE VIDEO OF ME DANCING TO GEE AND YOU TOLD ME THREE SEPARATE TIMES THAT IF I DIDNT COME WITH YOU TO DINNER YOU WOULD POST IT ON TWITTER

 **chanyeol's bitch:** all i wanted was someone to come w me to dinner and somehow IM the one at fault here

 **donald duck:** guys i need help  
**donald duck:** is there a mix between sad and mad?

 **mcr stan:** disgruntled, malcontent, desolated, miserable

 **dig bick:** smad

 **donald duck:** thanks wonwoo hyung

 **dig bick:** where is my thanks  
**dig bick:** hello???

 **bilbo dildo:** where did chan go?

 **dad:** someone text him

 **donkey kong:** he's probably doing hw

 **chanyeol's bitch:** ^^^

 **boob seungkwan:** i'll text him

 

\- ♡ -

  **[ chat (3):**   _" skinny penis"_ |  **12:35 PM ]**

 

 **kwannie:** whered u go chan

 **vernonie:** he's died

 **channie:** im busy

 **kwannie:** no you arent  
**kwannie:** you specifically disappeared when soonyoung spoke

 **channie:** i asked a question about a word  
**channie:** im working on an essay

 **vernonie:** so this has nothing to do with the fact that soonyoung has been ignoring you

 **channie:** he can do whatever he wants

 **kwannie:** chan if ur upset u can talk to us

 **channie:** im fine

 **vernonie:** you were upset last time we all hung out  
**vernonie:** and soonyoung was ignoring you  
**vernonie:** ill take a wild guess and say he hasnt talked to you over break

 **channie:** nope. i dont care though  
**channie:** if he doesnt want to be friends anymore thats fine

 **kwannie:** its not fine chan thats really fucked up

 **vernonie:** did he even give you a reason for ignoring you

 **channie:** i dont even care at this point

 **kwannie:** stop saying you dont care bc we know you do

 **vernonie:** if its bothering you, talk to us

 **channie:** i dont want to talk  
**channie:** soonyoung can do whatever   
**channie:** its his life  
**channie:** go tell everyone in the groupchat im working on essay  
**channie:** ill talk to you guys later  
**channie:** maybe

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **12:46 PM ]**

 

 **boob seungkwan:** he's fine  
**boob seungkwan:** just working on an essay

 **bilbo dildo:**  that was awhile to disappear for him to say he was just writing an essay

 **jared:** its a hard essay

 **boob seungkwan:** dont worry he's fine

 **dig bick:** r u sure? 

 **jared:** yup

 **BFG:** no offense soonyoung but u werent exactly the friendliest when we all hung out before break

 **donkey kong:** that is kinda true...

 **dig bick:** i was friendly! im always friendly!

 **chanyeol's bitch:** ...  
**chanyeol's bitch:** you know what im thinking  
**chanyeol's bitch:** so i wont say anything.

 **dad:** you were really shut off soonyoung...

 **dig bick:** i wasnt doing anything jeez

 **mcr stan:** you ignored him over break too  
**mcr stan:** we had plans back in our home town but you ditched for whtvr

 **dig bick:** did u really have to bring that up?

 **mcr stan:** im just saying

 **mingyu's baby:** its just weird how you're acting cut off from him  
**mingyu's baby:** you two were so close

 **dig bick:** yeah well sometimes people arent as close anymore.  
**dig bick:** im not talking about this in here  
**dig bick:** ill be at the dance studio

 **donkey kong:** soonyoung...

 **oppa chingu xD:** soonyoung you shouldnt cut yourself off from us

 **daddy:** we're your friends, we're here to talk

 **dig bick:** well i dont want to talk. you guys are looking for a fight when there isn't one. just leave me alone.

 **chanyeol's bitch:** oh my god soonyoung stop being so dramatic we aren't looking for shit when there isn't any to look for i'm tired of you acting like you're the one who everyone is being mean to when in reality we're trying to keep you from hurting yourself and chan because that's what you're doing right now

 **dig bick:** jeonghan its not your business to tell me whats good for me. it's my life and you can let me do what i want

 **chanyeol's bitch:** not if what you're doing is going to hurt someone else

 **dig bick:** im not hurting anyone because im not doing anything

 **chanyeol's bitch:** thats complete bullshit and you know it

 **dig bick:** keep your opinions to yourself from now on i honestly dont want to hear them

 **dad:** guys. calm down

 **chanyeol's bitch:** whatever im done.

 

 **[** _chanyeol's bitch (_ 1004hannie _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

 **dig bick:** dont fucking tell me to calm down, your boyfriend just decided to be a fucking asshole for no reason  
**dig bick:** im sick of all of you acting like you know whats good for me. let me do what im going to do  
**dig bick:** we all have our own shit to go through so let me fucking go through it and worry about your own  
**dig bick:** im done talking about this for real  
**dig bick:** just leave me alone

 

 **[** _dig bick (_ kwonfire  _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

 **mcr stan:** well fuck

 **bilbo dildo:** jesus

 **dad:** i'm gonna go talk to jeonghan

 **donkey kong:** wonwoo and i can go find soonyoung

 **dad:** pls do  
**dad:** they'll talk it out at some point

 **daddy:** im sure they will itll be alright

 **BFG:** i hope so  
**BFG:** i feel like i pushed it... im sorry i even brought it up

 **bilbo dildo:** its ok gyu its not your fault

 **oppa chingu xD:** yeah honestly if they were both able to get this angry it was bound to happen sooner or later

 **BFG:** i know i just feel shitty for bringing it up

 **daddy:** dont be, itll be ok  
**daddy:** why don't we all take a break from here for the rest of the day, yeah?

 **boob seungkwan:** thats a good idea

 **bilbo dildo:** see you all later

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **minghao8**

****

Liked by **s.coups95, 1004hannie,** and **78 others**

 **minghao8** highlight of my winter break was   
watching this loser try and catch his dog that   
loves his mom more than him

_view all 54 comments_

**dokyeommie97** WHY IS THAT DOG SO UGLY

 **9kim7** @dokyeommie97 LEAVE AJI ALONE SHE'S  
BEAUTIFUL

 **minghao8** @9kim7 she looks like she smokes   
crack

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (4):**   _" hewwo cult"_ |  **4:09 PM ]**

 

 **DK:** what's up uglies

 **tiddy boy:** minghao is ignoring me

 **wonuwu:** why

 **tiddy boy:** he's writing an essay :(

 **wonuwu:** thats a valid reason to ignore u

 **tiddy boy:** but i wanna make out

 **DK:** we didnt need that information

 **cool cutie the8:** mingyu has your sex drive ever stopped  
**cool cutie the8:** like once. ever

 **DK:** WE DONT NEED THIS INFORMATION

 **tiddy boy:** u should know by now that it doesnt cutie~~~

 **cool cutie the8:** fuck you i fucking hate this nickname

 **tiddy boy:** fuck me? ok :)

 **cool cutie the8:** im fucking blocking you

 **wonuwu:** i hate you both so much

 **DK:** mingyu ive been meaning to ask  
**DK:** why does ur dog look like a crackhead

 **tiddy boy:** OH MYG OD LEAVE AJI ALONE

 **wonuwu:** its what she deserves

 **tiddy boy:** SHES AN OLD LADY RESPECT HER

 **cool cutie the8:** she fucking hates you mingyu

 **tiddy boy:** SHE LOVES ME

 **cool cutie the8:** she loves your mom more  
**cool cutie the8:** and what a coincidence,,, so do i

 **tiddy boy:** IM NOT SUCKING YOUR DICK FOR THE NEXT WEEK

 **DK:** WE DONT NEED THIS STUFF IN ANY GROUPCHAT  
**DK:** mingyu just accept the fact that ur dog is on crack

 **tiddy boy:** SHES BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HER

 **wonuwu:**  
mingyu: h-  
aji: can u shut the fuck up motherfuckin tree lookin boy

 **tiddy boy:** FUCK OFF

 **cool cutie the8:** like i love dogs  
**cool cutie the8:** but aji... aji was wild

 **tiddy boy:** you guys arent my friends anymore

 **cool cutie the8:** im your boyfriend not your friend

 **DK:** im your roommate not your friend

 **wonuwu:** im just not your friend

 **tiddy boy:** STOP BULLYING ME

 

\- ♡ -

 

**moonjun**

****

Liked by **9kim7, dokyeommie97,** and **74 others**

 **moonjun** we wore matching suits ♡♡♡

_view all 34 comments_

**9kim7** this is gay and adorable

 **joshua_hong** u look cute here

 **moonjun** @joshua_hong u look cuter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u all liked it!! sorry for the "angst" but i like.. cant make this entire fic fluff shit has to happen at some point :P
> 
> leave a kudos n a comment bc they make my day ♡
> 
> come talk to me:  
> tumblr - comfyeol  
> twitter - gyuhaao


	14. promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **leedino:** please  
>  **leedino:** hyung?  
>  **leedino:** hello?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: angst (not a ton but more than i ever write) + mentions of blood
> 
> i hope u all enjoy <3

**[ chat (2):** _" LEAVE THE NAME ALONE HYUNG"_ |  **4:08 PM ]**

 

 **leedino:** hey

 **kwonfire:** hey

 **leedino:** i saw what happened in the chat earlier

 **kwonfire:** i dont want to talk about it i already heard shit from wonwoo and seokmin

 **leedino:** if youre really avoiding me then i want to talk

 **kwonfire:** maybe i dont want to talk

 **leedino:** so your solution is to avoid me forever?  
**leedino:** youre one of my best friends soonyoung  
**leedino:** you cant just cut me off without giving me a reason

 **kwonfire:** please just stop  
**kwonfire:** leave me alone. i already told you i dont want to talk

 **leedino:** no, hyung, we're going to talk now bc im sick of you ignoring my entire existance  
**leedino:**  do you know how upset i was when you just wouldnt even talk to me at seungcheol and jeonghans?  
**leedino:** and then you avoided me the entire time when we were back home  
**leedino:** all im asking for is an explanation. i just want to know what i did that made you think you had to treat me like this.

 **kwonfire:** sometimes you don't get an explanation and you have to accept that  
**kwonfire:** im gonna ask you again to please just leave me alone, chan. it'll be better for the both of us.

 **leedino:** maybe for you, but not for me  
**leedino:** you mean so much to me, i cant just cut you off and never speak to you again  
**leedino:** please hyung

 **kwonfire:** i have to go.

 **leedino:** please  
**leedino:** hyung?  
**leedino:** hello?

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ incoming call from:** kwon soonyoung | **8:06 PM** **]**

—  _"is this an apology call?"_  

— " _[hiccuping]_ jeonghan-hyung, i just- hospital, please i'm freaking out i don't know what-"

—  _"woah, woah, slow down! what are you doing at the hospital? are you ok?"_

— "it's chan, he- he fell or something i don't know... i just went into the showers in the lockerroom and he was laying there and- and there was blood and i didn't know what to do so i called 911 and now i'm here and-"

—  _"ok, ok, shhh soonyoungie. it's alright, it's going to be alright. take a deep breath and just hold on one second_ [muffled]  _seungcheol! get your shoes on and call wonwoo. chan's in the hospital."_

— "it's all my fault, hyung, it's all my fault. i don't know what to do, i'm freaking out and the nurses won't say anything at all and i'm alone here-"

—  _"we're going to be on our way in a minute, ok? we'll be right there with you. you're not alone, soonyoung; you're never alone. take a few deep breaths, sit down, and just listen to me. i'll stay on the phone with you until we get there. now, do you remember what happened?"_

 _—_ "i went to hop in the shower after practicing a little because i was mad and practicing always help me cool off, but i thought i saw someone laying on the floor on the shower and  _[whimpering]_ it was chan. h-his head... there was blood and i... i felt so useless, i couldn't even do anything so i ran and called 911 and then i got in the ambulance with him and now i'm here and i called you. i'm so sorry, this is all my fault."

—  _"kwon soonyoung, this is not your fault. chan probably slipped, ok? he would never do anything like that on purpose and you know it."_

— "i know, but if i hadn't ignored him or gotten angry with him, maybe this wouldn't have happened! "

—  _"you can't control what will or won't happen. this is not your fault. you cannot blame this on yourself. we're almost there. cheollie says wonwoo and the others should be here in a little too, ok? breathe. it's going to be ok."_

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ incoming call from:**  choi seungcheol | **8:07 PM** **]**

 

 **—** _"yo, what's up?"_

— "soonyoung just called jeonghan. i guess chan is in the hospital. we're on our way over now."

—  _"holy shit. is chan... is he ok? is going to be ok?"_

— "i... i don't know. jeonghan hasn't said anything, he's trying to calm down soonyoung. just... call the rest of the guys. get them here. chan and soonyoung can't be alone."

—  _"ok..."_

 **[ call ended by:** jeon wonwoo |  **8:08 PM ]**

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ incoming call from:**  jeon wonwoo | **8:09 PM** **]**

 

 **—** _"_ [muffled]  _mingyu, shut the fuck up! it's wonwoo! ... mario kart can wait!"_

— " _[hiccuping]_ seokmin."

—  _"oh my god, are you crying? what's wrong? what happened?"_

— "it's chan, he's in the hospital and i-i can't drive i'm crying too much, can you please get-"

—  _"yes, yes, of course. i'll grab minghao and mingyu and we'll be over in 10, ok? just take a deep breath. he'll be ok."_

— "right. ok. i have to call jihoon, joshua, jun, vernon, and seungkwan still..."

—  _"don't worry about it. just focus on staying calm._ [muffled]  _minghao, mingyu. we need to go pick up wonwoo right now. chan's in the hospital. can one of you call jihoon, jun, vernon, seungkwan, and j_ _oshua? ... yeah. yeah, wonwoo doesn't know how he is i don't think. let's just hurry up, ok? we'll figure it all out when we get there."_

— "thank you, minnie."

—  _"of course. just stay at your dorm, ok? i'll text you when we get there."_

 

 **[ call ended by:** lee seokmin |  **8:11 PM ]**

 

\- ♡ -

 

Soonyoung sat in the rubber chair of the emergency wing waiting room, bouncing his leg up and down as he bit his lip to hold back his tears. 

It didn't matter what Jeonghan and everyone else said; this was all his fault. If something happened to Chan, he would never not blame himself. He ignored him, avoided him, pushed him away, and all just because he didn't want to admit how fucking in love he was with the younger boy. It was so selfish and inconsiderate, two things that were very unlike Soonyoung, that he didn't even understand why he did it at all. He was petty for no reason when all Chan wanted was his friend back. Soonyoung would rather be stuck as just one of Chan's best friend forever, never anything more, as long as it meant the younger boy was back with him, smiling and happy. Before he could burst into tears again, a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Soonyoung." Jeonghan practically ran forward, pulling Soonyoung into a bone crushing hug. he hadn't known how much he needed it until he broke down into sobs in the older boy's arms. Jeonghan rubbed small circles into his back and it wasn't long before Soonyoung felt another hand, he assumed Seungcheol's, stroking his hair. He felt like such an idiot; he was blessed enough to have the sweetest friends - the kind that quite literally raced to the hospital and comforted him when they were probably just as worried.

They eventually all took a seat, Soonyoung still sniffling, as they waited for any news of Chan's condition to come from a nurse or doctor. Wonwoo, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin were the next ones to arrive. Wonwoo engulfed Soonyoung in a hug and just as he wrapped his arms equally as tight around the other boy, he realized that this was the first time he had ever seen Wonwoo cry. His heart felt heavy as he pulled back, trying to smile at him. Wonwoo met him with an equally sad attempt at a smile before wiping a few of his tears and taking a seat next to Seokmin. 

Joshua and Jun came next, followed by Jihoon, and finally Seungkwan and Vernon. In any other circumstance, having them all together would be a happy, fun experience, but the absence and unknown condition of their youngest friend made the tension in the room feel palpable. Soonyoung looked around the room, watching as all his friends did their best to calm their own nerves.

Jeonghan was picking at his nails with Seungcheol's head resting on his shoulder as he stared off into space. Mingyu had his arm tightly wrapped around Minghao, a frown practically cemented on his face as he rubbed his boyfriend's shoulder. Minghao's eyes were puffy, so Soonyoung was fairly sure he had been crying. Seokmin and Wonwoo sat next to each other; Wonwoo still had tears in his eyes and a few running down his cheeks, but before he could wipe them away with his sleeve, Seokmin was lightly brushing them away, then grabbing his hand and holding on tightly. Then there was Jihoon whose stone-cold expression fooled absolutely no one. There were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks at any moment. Soonyoung caught his eye and went to give him a nod as if to ask if he was ok, but Jihoon quickly averted his gaze. Seungkwan sat huddled up next to Vernon, the two speaking hushed, worried tones. Joshua and Jun both seemed unsure of what to do, glancing around the room just as Soonyoung had been doing.

Nothing felt normal.

The doors from the emergency room opened, a nurse walking out with a clipboard in her hand. All the boys' heads shot up, as she made her way over to Soonyoung.

"Kwon Soonyoung?" She asked. Soonyoung nodded, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Your boyfriend, Lee Chan, is going to be alright. He has a concussion and we had to give him a few stitiches, but nothing that won't heal with time. He needs to rest right now, but you're welcome to come back and visit him tomorrow along with the rest of your friends." She said.

"Ok. Thank you, thank you so much." Soonyoung breathed out, a smile breaking out on his face. Chan was ok. He was going to be ok. As the nurse made her way back through the doors, the boys all got up from their seats, moving to form a big group hug in the middle of the room. As they all pulled back, Jihoon spoke up.

"From now on, no more ignoring each other. If there's ever a problem, we all talk it out because I don't know what I would have done if something happened to Chan. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to any of you. We're best friends, alright? And we're going to talk things out from now on. Got it?" Jihoon said, a smile on his face. His words were serious, but he said it because he cared and the rest quickly nodded along in agreement. They all made their way home, Jihoon offering Soonyoung a ride back to campus. 

Soonyoung crawled into the passenger seat of his car, buckling up and running a hand through his hair. Jihoon started up the car, but stayed idle for a moment, glancing at Soonyoung.

"So... the nurse called you Chan's boyfriend. What's up with that?" He asked.

"Oh. I just, I, uhm, needed to be his boyfriend or a family member if I could ride in the ambulance with him. We aren't dating. I don't even know how if he even wants to be my friend anymore." Soonyoung sighed.

"Shut up. Ask him out. Mingyu told me Chan was planning on confessing before break, but you shut him out so he didn't. After what happened, you two need to tell the truth to each other. Talk all your shit out." Jihoon said.

"Since when did you become the best in our friend group at giving advice? Seriously, Jihoon, I'm going to come to you everytime I need advice from now on." Soonyoung smiled. Jihoon rolled his eyes, a smile on his face as well as he pulled the car out of the parking space.

"That's what friends are for or whatever."

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):** _" what the fuck dk_ _"_ | **10:07 AM ]**

 **[** _dad (_ s.coups95  _)_   **added** _dig bick (_ kwonfire _)_ **and** _chanyeol's bitch (_ 1004hannie _)_   **into the chat ]**

 

 **dig bick:** thx hyung

 **dad:** np  
**dad:** how did everyone sleep last night?

 **mcr stan:** ok. it would have been worse, but we know chan is ok so that helped

 **oppa chingu xD:** yeah, i agree

 **chanyeol's bitch:** im planning on stopping by to visit channie with seungcheol and soonyoung around 1pm if anyone wants to meet us there

 **BFG:** i can bring minghao, seokmin, and wonwoo

 **bilbo dildo:** i'll be there too

 **daddy:** shua and i will meet you guys there

 **jared:** ofc seungkwan  & i will be there

 **dig bick:** hey  
**dig bick:** i love you guys

 **chanyeol's bitch:** same. we love you too soonyoungie

 **dad:** idk what id do without you all annoying me. id probably go insane,, i love you all

 **oppa chingu xD:** meeting you guys is one of the best things that happened to me

 **daddy:** same here. if vernon hadnt introduced me to you guys, id probably be friendless and still depressed all the time. thank you guys for everything

 **mcr stan:** you all mean the world to me

 **bilbo dildo:** im shy and awkward. if i hadnt met you all, i would have never come out of my shell. i love you all for being here for me all the time.

 **mingyu's baby:** if i hadnt met you all... i dont know what i would be doing or who i would talk to. you guys are amazing and i love you

 **donkey kong:** im not good at expressing myself without crying, but i love you guys so much my heart could burst

 **BFG:** finding you all is the best thing thats ever happened. love you all

 **boob seungkwan:** you guys keep me smiling  <3

 **jared:** idk where id be without all of you keeping me going. love u all

 **dig bicK:** im grateful we all met. lets promise to stay friends forever, ok? no ifs ands or buts bc id go insane without all of you in my life

 **chanyeol's bitch:** we promise

 **mcr stan:** we promise.

 **bilbo dildo:** everyone promises. now rest up some more. we gotta have a smile on our faces for channie.

 **daddy:** see you all later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a lil shorter than usual but thats bc i included writing instead of only texts/instagram posts
> 
> this feels like a good place to tell you that i WILL be ending the fic once it hits 20 chapters, so know that's coming <3
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this fic and continue to enjoy it in the future! leave a kudos/comment ^^
> 
> hmu on social media:  
> \- tumblr: comfyeol  
> \- twitter: gyuhaao


	15. havana ooh na na

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mingyu's baby:** see ? junshua found dead in the street
> 
>  **daddy:** sorry we weren't texting bc i had my dick up joshua's ass
> 
>  **oppa chingu xD:** J U N.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! hope u like this chapter :)

**[ chat (13):** _"_ _what the fuck dk_ _"_ |  **12:34 PM ]**

 

 **dig bick:** TODAYS THE DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  
**dig bick:** THE SUN IS SHINING  
**dig bick:** THE BIRDS ARE SINGING  
**dig bick:** AND CHAN IS OFFICIALLY GETTING OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AT 3 THIS AFTERNOON

 **donkey kong:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **chanyeol's bitch:** lee chan, king of only having to stay in the hospital for two days

 **dig bick:** the nurse told me impt things to remember bc he has a concussion SO EVERYONE LISTEN UP  
**dig bick:** no sports, no video games, no TV, refrain from too much socialization, and NO PHONE  
**dig bick:** so he wont be texting for a little but i have decided im gonna stay at his dorm w him so he has someone taking care of him

 **dad:** did you two talk it out?

 **mcr stan:** yeah its not like you two were on the best of terms when things happened

 **dig bick:** yeah, we did  
**dig bick:** we're going to take things kind of slow but as long as we have each other i think we'll be fine

 **BFG:** does this mean what i think it means

 **chanyeol's bitch:** SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU TWO DATING

 **oppa chingu xD:** W I L D

 **jared:** this is like the plot of a kdrama

 **boob seungkwan:**  OMG TRUE  
**boob seungkwan:** they both dont want to confess, one cuts the other off, the other gets injured, then one of them runs to confess their love and they live happily ever after

 **dig bick:** we aren't dating  
**dig bick:** yet

 **mingyu's baby:** yet.

 **chanyeol's bitch:** YET

 **dad:** Y E T

 **dig bick:** will u all shut up  
**dig bick:** we just talked for a little  
**dig bick:** abt everything

 **bilbo dildo:** did you two kiss?

 **dig bick:** no  
**dig bick:** we just talked about our feelings and then he fell asleep  
**dig bick:** but we're... something now

 **daddy:** something is better than nothing  
**daddy:** esp when nothing was the two of you ignoring each other

 **donkey kong:** agreed

 **dig bick:** ok yeah ill admit that ignoring him was not the best move on my part

 **chanyeol's bitch:** im not gonna say i told u so  
**chanyeol's bitch:** but just know . i'm thinking it

 **dig bick:** that's fair

 **bilbo dildo:** single squad now consists of three members... it's gonna disband soon i'm sure  
**bilbo dildo:** wonwoo n dk if u two get boyfriends i will personally kick ur ass

 **mcr stan:** would now be a bad time to tell you that seokmin and i have been dating since like.. mid last year

 **dad:** WHATFDEGDF ETGFHKSJDFKSDF

 **oppa chingu xD:** SHUGHRJGHS SHUTTH EFUCK UP HLOY QHWAT

 **bilbo dildo:** are you fucking kidding me  
**bilbo dildo:** whatever jokes on all of you, the real otp is me x these hands

 **chanyeol's bitch:** HOW IN RHE FUCK DID YOU HIDE THIS FROM US  
**chanyeol's bitch:** FOR ALMOST A YEAR

 **jared:** ARE YIUF UVDSFUJ

 **boob seungkwan:** WONWOO. I WAS LITERALLY GOING TO SET YOU UP ON A BLIND DATE TOMORROW

 **mcr stan:** ik thats why i told you now so you'd leave me alone  
**mcr stan:** send jihoon on the date

 **bilbo dildo:** fuck u no

 **mcr stan:** see i should have just gone with that response instead of finally telling you all im dating seokmin but oh well

 **donkey kong:** what happened while i was gone  
**donkey kong:** oh  
**donkey kong:** O H  
**donkey kong:** ye,,s wonwoo and i are dating

 **mingyu's baby:** omg wow... what a shock

 **BFG:** this is completely new information to us

 **boob seungkwan:** YOU TWO FUCKING KNEW

 **jared:** FAKES  
**jared:** TIRED OF FAKE FRIENDS

 **mingyu's baby:** ive only known for like a few weeks

 **BFG:** i knew abt three days into it :)

 **chanyeol's bitch:** fuck u mingyu

 **daddy:** wheres soonyoung u think he would be freaking out the most

 **dig bick:** You Fools. I've Known

 **jared:** THEY FUCKING TOLD YOU TOO???

 **dig bick:** nope  
**dig bick:** i just happen to have eyes  
**dig bick:** wonwoo is my best friend, i can read him like a damn book  
**dig bick:** seokmin is just a bad liar  
**dig bick:** also chan knows bc we spent a week scheming abt who wonwoo was hooking up with 

 **mcr stan:** wtf do u mean u can read me like a damn book

 **dig bick:** i have caught you two holding hands multiple times, i have legit watched the two of you flirt IN FRONT OF ME  
**dig bick:** and also one time i accidentally saw you two on a date

 **chanyeol's bitch:** AND YOU DIDNYT TELEL US   
**chanyeol's bitch:** YOU THoT

 **donkey kong:** what date.........

 **dig bick:** idfk i just remember bein like 'oh theres wonwoo and seokmin ill say hi oh wait theyre k i s s i n g'

 **dad:** i cant believe u two really managed to keep this a secret from us for so long

 **daddy:** whyd u hide it in the first place

 **mcr stan:** it wasnt like a concious choice  
**mcr stan:** i dont like pda and we just never got around to telling anyone  
**mcr stan:** and then it became fun to sneak around everyone LMAO

 **BFG:** i thought everyone knew they were dating and just kept joking about it 

 **oppa chingu xD:** is that why you kept getting frustrated when someone said they were single

 **BFG:** ... yes

 **dad:** i really cnat believe this

 **boob seungkwan:** honestly. i dont believe it unless i see pics

 **mcr stan:** wtf do u want, a pic of my dick in seokmins mouth or some shit

 **donkey kong:** THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT

 **mcr stan:**  
****  
**mcr stan:** thats from a date we went on  
**mcr stan:**    
  
**mcr stan:** mingyu took that one not that long ago

 **dig bick:** tHAT FIRTS ONE  
**dig bick:** THATS THE DAY I SAW YOU

 **donkey kong:** WHY WERE YOU IN A MALL IN GOYANG THERES A MILLION IN SEOUL

 **dig bick:** WHY WERE YOU IN A MALL IN GOYANG!!!!

 **donkey kong:** ... fair point

 **chanyeol's bitch:** i cant believe this... here we all thought junshua was the superior couple but seokwoo comes swinging in

 **mingyu's bitch:** gyuhao is superior 

 **BFG:** MINGHAO DID YOU GIVE US A SHIP NAME  <<<<333333

 **mingyu's baby:** jun came up with it...

 **BFG:** u still used it, uwu love u

 **mingyu's baby:** love u 2  
**mingyu's baby:** see ? junshua found dead in the street

 **daddy:** sorry we weren't texting bc i had my dick up joshua's ass

 **oppa chingu xD:** J U N.

 **jared:** there are times when i ask myself why i made this chat

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **thekwonsoonyoung**

Liked by  **s.coups95, 1004hannie,** and **70 others**

 **thekwonsoonyoung**  

u so

fuckin

precious

when u

S M I L E

_view all 52 comments_

**1004hannie** oh my god this is so cute !! tell  
him we love him and miss him  <3

 **moonjun** hope channie is resting well~

 **dokyeommie97** gay

 

 - ♡ -

 

  **moonjun**

Liked by  **minghao8, jeonwonwoo96,** and  **68 others**

 **moonjun** foreign college student culture  
is spending your entire winter vacation  
with your boyfriend in the snow bc you cant  
afford to fly home and almost freezing  
to death 

_view all 34 comments_

**minghao8** that is oddly specific yet  
somehow relatable

 **joshua_hong** omg fr it was so cold !

 **moonjun** @joshua_hong ur love kept  
me warm~~~~

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **9kim7**

Liked by  **leejihoon, minghao8,** and  **97 others**

 **9kim7**  MM.

_view all 43 comments_

**minghao8**  wow can't believe we invented  
fashion... love you <3

 **jeonwonwoo96** did u and minghao really  
both use the same caption for selfies of  
yourselves

 **9kim7** @jeonwonwoo96 it's called   
building a brand name 

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **chwe.vernon**

Liked by  **9kim7, moonjun,** and  **87 others**

 **chwe.vernon** havana, ooh na na

_view all 34 comments_

**seungkwan.nie** this was taken in the  
phillippines last summer... havana is   
not in the phillippines

 **chwe.vernon** @seungkwan.nie HALF  
OF MY HEART IS IN HAVANA OOH NA NA

 **chwe.vernon** @seungkwan.nie HE TOOK  
ME BACK TO EAST ATLANTA OOH NA NA

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **jeonwonwoo96**

Liked by  **s.coups95, chwe.vernon,** and  **48 others**

 **jeonwonwoo96** someone get my boyfriend  
to stop being clingy challenge

_view all 16 comments_

**leejihoon** now that u two are a out as a   
couple, is this going to become a regular  
thing?

 **jeonwonwoo96** @leejihoon yes

 **dokyeommie97** uwu no i wont stop being  
clingy uwu xoxo

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **1004hannie**

Liked by  **jeonwonwoo96, 9kim7,** and  **72 others**

 **1004hannie** he taught me how to "properly"  
take a selfie

_view all 22 comments_

**s.coups95** whats with the quotation marks,  
i taught u the cutest way to take a selfie

 **s.coups95** altho ur cute no matter what u do

 **joshua_hong** @s.coups95get a room

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **leejihoon**

Liked by  **seungkwan.nie, 9kim7,** and  **168 others**

 **leejihoon** internship at SM is going pretty well.  
great to meet @real__pcy and play around with  
some stuff in the studio. hope we can do it  
again sometime.

_view all 72 comments_

**real__pcy [✓]** i had a great time jihoon!  
you're really talented. hope we can work together  
on a song for real soon! ^^

 **1004hannie** WHATWDSSAF TGEV FYCJFS F LEE  
JIHOON WHAUFTYESUKDF A <ESJF USDKFJKEUS

 **joshua_hong** IS THATFDSG PARK FUCKIGIHN  
CHANYEOFL FOJDSKFKALEJFDSOLJKF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan is ok!! sorry for the angst in the previous chpt but i wanted to give my story some sort of plot outside of just simply getting together the relationships and i feel like that gave some good insight into all the boys's lives if that makes sense
> 
> this chpt was just meant to be rlly chill lmao
> 
> and YES - the mystery guy wonwoo was with was seokmin and the mystery guy seokmin was with was wonwoo!!
> 
> idk how i feel abt chanyeol x jihoon but it might just happen bc he deserves love too. 
> 
> hmu on social media:  
> \- tumblr: @comfyeol  
> \- twitter: @gyuhaao


	16. my baby sugar plum gum drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **boob seungkwan:** you've really fucking done it now wonfuck
> 
>  **daddy:** god wonfuck. you've really done it haven't you
> 
>  **oppa chingu xD:** wonfuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chpt is a bit shorter but i hope u like it nonetheless <3

**[** **chat (13):** _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **8:49 PM ]**

 

 **dig bick:** gues s wHAT. fuckers

 **dad:** what

 **chanyeol's bitch:** whats up in the world of soonyoung today

 **dig bick:** CHan. iS clEare to omce bacskf

 **BFG:** what the fuck does that say

 **mcr stan:** [translation] - chan is clear to come back

 **bilbo dildo:** uhh he got out of the hospital like a full week ago

 **dig bick:** HSI CUCONCSSION IS GO NE FUCKERjejfh 

 **BFG:** what the FUCK are you trying to say

 **mcr stan:** [translation] - his concussion is gone, fucker

 **mingyu's baby:** why is soonyoung typing like he's on crack

 **dad:** when does soonyoung NOT type like he's on crack

 **mingyu's baby:** fair point

 **dig bick:** FUCKDJFDS FYUOUf  
**dig bick:** IJM TRYITGN TOT DO SOMETHINGNm, 

 **jared:** what r u doing that is making u type so poorly

 **dig bick:** CHA n WHANTS SHHIF PHONE BAKCDSJFKSD BUTI WHAGNTED TO t ,,,e ELL YIUEHBD ALLD FUIRTYERs

 **boob seungkwan:** im having a stroke, right?  
**boob seungkwan:** this must be what having a stroke feels like

 **mcr stan:** [translation] - chan wants his phone back but i wanted to tell you all first

 **daddy:** how in the hell do u understand what hes saying

 **mcr stan:** years and years of having to put up with him texting like this

 **dig bick:** FUCK FOF FNFMF WONFUCK

 **chanyeol's bitch:** WONFUCK FDJKFH:DLISFUSDKFHDSKF

 **mingyu's baby:** LMAOOO

 **mcr stan:** thats not even creative thats just mean

 

 **[** _BFG (_ 9kim7 _)_   **has renamed**   _wonfuck (_  jeonwonwoo96  _)_   **]**

 

 **wonfuck:** ffs

 **boob seungkwan:** you've really fucking done it now wonfuck

 **daddy:** god wonfuck. you've really done it haven't you

 **oppa chingu xD:** wonfuck.

 **donkey kong:** wonfUCK JAHSDJASHD

 **wonfuck:** seokmin... i feel betrayed

 **donkey kong:** *my WON true love JAHSDJASHD

 **wonfuck:** nevermind thats worse

 **donald duck:** hey

 **BFG:** CHAN

 **dad:** CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

 **chanyeol's bitch:** CHAN  <<<<<333333

 **donald duck:** i missed u guys !!!!

 **oppa chingu xD:** we missed u more !!  
**oppa chingu xD:** how are you feeling?

 **donald duck:** pretty good! not perfect but im clear to actually do stuff now which is nice

 **dig bick:** he's feeling fine he just fucking kicked me in the balls

 **boob seungkwan:** good, now we definitely know he's back to normal

 **donald duck:** word for word i said  
**donald duck:** soonyoung, give me back my phone or i will kick you in the balls  
**donald duck:** to which you responded  
**donald duck:** "awwww my baby says he's gonna hurt me,, dont worry channie ill just keep holding ur phone"  
**donald duck:** and then you proceeded to literally cover my face in kisses  
**donald duck:** You Left Me No Choice

 **dig bick:** WE DON T NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE TO PROVOKE YOU

 **BFG:** are u two......,,.,.,. finally dating

 **donald duck:**.  
**donald duck:** perhaps

 **chanyeol's bitch:** WGAKFUISY*LGUKEBJSNKFODJIHUGYBEHSKDJIEHBKRJEFSOJIRHUGK  
**chanyeol's bitch:** FIRTS WONWOO AND SEOKMIN  
**chanyeol's bitch:** THEn JIHOON AND CHANYEOL  
**chanyeol's bitch:** NOW THIS  
**chanyeol's bitch:** nO NE OF YOU TELL US ANYTHING

 **bilbo dildo:** to be fair, i dont have anything to tell u abt chanyeol outside the fact that i met him and he's p chill

 **oppa chingu xD:** i saw u texting him earlier

 **bilbo dildo:** you didnt see shit joshua hong

 **dad:** i cant believe jihoon is gonna date an idol  
**dad:** doesnt surprise me tbh

 **bilbo dildo:** shut ur mouth

 **mingyu's baby:** we're happy for u, soonyoung and chan!!!

 **BFG:** soonchan

 **mingyu's baby:** babe no,,, no more ship names

 **BFG:** SOONCHAN.

 **wonfuck:** that sounds like the noise u make when u sneeze

 **donald duck:** coming from a guy with the nickname 'wonfuck'

 **wonfuck:** .  
**wonfuck:** i missed u chan

 **donald duck:** i missed you too  <3

 **jared:** guys lets go out for brunch tomorrow !!

 **dad:** hell yes i havent had brunch in forever

 **boob seungkwan:** we arent going to the last place we went to tho,,, the owner always tries to set me up with her daughter everytime on there

 **jared:** dont worry,,,, i dont like that place anymore

 **daddy:** not to get Emo Hours but god it sucks not being able to kiss ur s/o in public or say ur dating without getting glares

 **boob seungkwan:** thats the biggest mood

 **oppa chingu xD:** it rlly does suck  
**oppa chingu xD:** that was the biggest cultural difference when i moved here but it still takes some getting used to tbh

 **chanyeol's bitch:** i mean cheol and i have been dating for 4 yrs and its STILL hard for us

 **dad:** anytime someone hits on one of us its so awkward

 **mingyu's baby:** sometimes i forget that we're all hopeless gays in here

 **donkey kong:**  on a lighter note  
**donkey kong:** brunch!

 **BFG:** i can drive hewwo cult

 **dad:** wtf is hewwo cult

 **mingyu's baby:** me, mingyu, wonwoo, and seokmin

 **dad:** sigh  
**dad:** im not even gonna ask who named you all hewwo cult  
**dad:** i can take like three people

 **boob seungkwan:** me & vernon pls

 **dad:** jihoon?

 **bilbo dildo:** well  
**bilbo dildo:** dont freak out but  
**bilbo dildo:** chanyeol was wondering if he could possibly come  
**bilbo dildo:** he said (and i quote) "you're cool, your friends seem cool  & i can get us a whole private room at this cool breakfast place in seoul"

 **chanyeol's bitch:** what  
**chanyeol's bitch:** WH AT  
**chanyeol's bitch:** [CLOSE]

 **oppa chingu xD:** TE lL HIM YES

 **bilbo dildo:** ok. you guys better not be weird

 **oppa chingu xD:** IVE NEVER BEEN WEIRD EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE EVER

 **dad:** got it so jihoon is getting a ride with his boy toy

 **bilbo dildo:** not my boy toy

 **daddy:** joshua and i are good, i think soonyoung and chan could always ride with us

 **donald duck:** that works!

 **dad:** jihoon tell chanyeol to text us when he figures out where we're going

 **bilbo dildo:** will do

 

- ♡ -

 

  **s.coups95**

Liked by  **real__pcy, 9kim7** **,** and  **79 others**

 **s.coups95** the gangs all here (thx to yeol  
for takin the pic)

_view all 34 comments_

**real__pcy [✓]** np! we shld all hang out   
together again soon - you guys are all really  
awesome

 **9kim7** soonyoung looks on the verge of  
murdering someone again

 **thekwonsoonyoung** @9kim7 leave me and  
my beautiful face alone

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (4):** _" hewwo cult"_ |  **3:52 PM ]**

 

 **tiddy boy:** double date night  
**tiddy boy:** tonight  
**tiddy boy:** be there or be square

 **wonuwu:**  oof  
**wonuwu:**  where r we goin

 **tiddy boy:** uh  
**tiddy boy:** i didnt think u would agree so quickly uhm

 **cool cutie the8:**  brera

 **tiddy boy:** yeah there

 **DK:** we'll be there ^^

 **tiddy boy:** im shocked you all went along with my idea

 **cool cutie the8:** mingyu  
**cool cutie the8:** sweetie  
**cool cutie the8:** it was my idea

 **wonuwu:** oh wow am i supposed to be surprised now

 **DK:** we all knew that

 **tiddy boy:** [REST]

 

- ♡ -

 

**minghao8**

Liked by  **dokyeommie97, 9kim7,** and  **67 others**

 **minghao8** mingyu walked away so we took a   
selfie bc fuck mingyu

_view all 32 comments_

**9kim7** IM SO NICE TO u,,, AND THIS IS WHAT I   
RECEIVE

 **minghao8** @9kim7 calm down u big baby, i'll  
post a picture of us too  <3

 **jeonwonwoo96** minghao is whipped part   
32848347837878798

 

- ♡ -

 

  **minghao8**

Liked by  **leejihoon, thekwonsoonyoung,** and  **65 others**

 **minghao8** here you go my baby sugar plum gum  
drop  <3 <3 <3 <3

_view all 21 comments_

**9kim7** ik the caption is sarcastic but ill take it bc  
i love u a lot

 **minghao8** @9kim7 i love u a lot too, dork

 **thekwonsoonyoung** gay

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx to miss jai for helpin with that double date post !!
> 
> i hope u all liked this chapter and im sorry for taking awhile to update + it being shorter than i wanted it to be
> 
> i wanted to ask: would you guys be interested in seeing my notes and stuff once the fic ends? i have tiny details i would love to point out if anyone was interested ! comment and lmk <3
> 
> follow me on social media:
> 
> tumblr: @comfyeol  
> twitter: @gyuhaao


	17. all of you are on crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **donkey kong:** how do you forget that incest exists
> 
>  **dig bick:** i mean its not exactly a thing that comes up in daily conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note that i talk abt sex more than usual in this chapter woOPS ok sorry for never updating, hope u like it!!

**[ chat (13):** _" what the fuck dk"_ | **2** **:32 PM ]**

 

 **mingyu's baby:** D o ES ANYON e HAVE BELAHc

 **jared:** . do we have what now

 **mingyu's baby:** BLEACh

 **chanyeol's bitch:** w-why do you need bleach

 **daddy:** hey minghao :)

 **mingyu's baby:** go away you fucking demonic piece of shit

 **dad:** woah there

 **boob seungkwan:** wtf happened

 **mingyu's baby:** ILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENEd

 **oppa chingu xD:** i rlly dont think its necessary to talk about what may or may not have happened

 **mingyu's baby:** JUN AND JOSHUA DONT KNOW HOW TO LOCK DOORS

 **daddy:** ok and YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO KNOCK

 **mingyu's baby:** ITS MY DORM WHY WOULD I HAVE TO KNOCK

 **daddy:** ITS MY DORM TOO BUT I KNOCK EVERYTIME I HEAR MINGYUS LOUD ASS MOANS BECAUSE I KNOW I DONT WANNA WALK IN ON THAT

 **BFG:** WHY ARE WE DRAGGING ME INTO THIS

 **oppa chingu xD:** tbh minghao you couldve knocked

 **mingyu's baby:** and YOU could have waited to get juns DICK UP YOUR ASS until L A T E R

 **dad:** OK THIS CHAT IS RATED PG-13 YOU NEED TO TONE IT DOWN NONE OF US WANT THIS MUCH DETAIL

 **mingyu's baby:** YOU THINK I WANTED THAT VISUAL IN MY BRAIN SEUNGCHEOL.

 **dig bick:** why cant there just be peace  
**dig bick:** this family is falling apart

 **wonfuck:** pls stop calling us a family when we're all in realtionships with each other

 **dig bick:** why would that be a problem

 **donald duck:** did you just forget incest exists or did you purposefully imply that theres no problem with it

 **dig bick:** i  
**dig bick:** maybe i forgot what it is

 **chanyeol's bitch:** YOU FORGOT WHAT INCEST IS

 **bilbo dildo:** all of you are on CRACK

 **mingyu's baby:** THE ONLY PEOPLE ON CRACK ARE JUN AND JOSHUA

 **oppa chingu xD:** i breathed

 **daddy:** LEAVE US OUT OF THIS AND KNOCK NEXT TIME

 **donkey kong:** how do you forget that incest exists

 **dig bick:** i mean its not exactly a thing that comes up in daily conversation

 **BFG:** minghao maybe you should knock next time i mean jun always knocks when we're in there

 **mingyu's baby:** OK BUT JUN KNOCKS ALL THE TIME BC YOU HAVE THE SAME LEVEL OF HORNYNESS AS A 13 YEAR OLD BOY AND HE KNOWS WE'RE PROBABLY FUCKING

 **chanyeol's bitch:** PFFT

 **wonfuck:** still soonyoung i dont udnerstand how u just forget it exists

 **dig bick:** i just did

 **donald duck:** im just grateful he wasnt implying he was fine with incest

 **dig bick:** im not a white boy in kentucky, chan

 **BFG:** wE DONT NEED TO BRING UP MY SEX DRIVE IN THIS CONVERSATION

 **daddy:** YES WE DO BECAUSE MY ROOM IS PREoCCUPIED BY YOU TWO EVERY NIGHT I S2G FUCK IN UR OWN DORM MINGYU

 **donkey kong:** hi, no thank you

 **jared:** theres twO DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS GOING ON AT ONCE AND I HATE BOTH OF THEM

 **boob seungkwan:** a lot of times i wonder how we function all together and then u all remind me that we dont at all

 **BFG:** WHY CANT YOU AND JOSHUA FUCK IN HIS ROOM

 **oppa chingu xD:** jihoon 

 **bilbo dildo:** :)

 **BFG:** OKAY THATS A VALID REASON!

 **dad:** i have gray hair because of all of you

 

\- ♡ -

 

  **minghao_8**

Liked by  **leejihoon, real___pcy,** and  **79 others**

 **minghao_8** the visual couple

_view all 17 comments_

**1004hannie** seungcheol and i exist :)

 **9kim7** @1004hannie and?

 **minghao_8** @1004hannie and?

 

\- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (2):** _"_ _junshua_ _"_  |  **5:21** **PM ]**

 

 **china's prince:** babe babe babe babe babe babe babe babe

 **america's prince:** yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes 

 **china's prince:** i have a very important question for you

 **america's prince:** which is...?

 **china's prince:** ok so,, we've been dating for awhile now and ik summer is coming up

 **america's prince:** yes yes it is

 **china's prince:** were you planning on flying home for the summer?

 **america's prince:** probably not?? and if i did it would only be for like a week bc airfare is expensive in the summer and the longer i wait to fly back the more itll cost

 **china's prince:** so i have a idea

 **america's prince:** an idea???

 **china's prince:** yes

 **america's prince:** pls share this idea

 **china's prince:** how would you feel  
**china's prince:** about coming with me for the summer  
**china's prince:** to china

 **america's prince:** you want me to come stay with you and your family??  
**america's prince:** all summer??

 **china's prince:** only if you want to  
**china's prince:** and im out to my parents and brother so we wouldnt have to lie and stuff  
**china's prince:** just putting it out there bc idk if i could go a whole summer without seeing you

 **america's prince:** i would love to junnie!!

 **china's prince:** really??

 **america's prince:** yes!! you talk about your family all the time and i would love to meet them  
**america's prince:** plus,,, i think i would go crazy not seeing you for a whole two months  
**america's prince:** don't think id be able to do just skype dates with you

 **china's prince:** im so happy ajhdsjhdash  
**china's prince:** i love you so much

 **america's prince:** what

 **china's prince:** what

 **america's prince:** you love me?

 **china's prince:** i did not mean to say it for the first time over text  
**china's prince:** im such a dumbass im sorry

 **america's prince:** shut up you aren't a dumbass  
**america's prince:** i love you too

 **china's prince:** w  
**china's prince:** what

 **america's prince:** you can read the text again

 **china's prince:** nooo say it again

 **america's prince:** i love you

 **china's prince:** i love you too  
**china's prince:** so much

 **america's prince:** i love you more

 **china's prince:** is jihoon at ur dorm?

 **america's prince:** not rn why

 **china's prince:** im coming over to make out with you and tell you i love you

 **america's prince:** im so excited hurry up

 **china's prince:** i love you

 **america's prince:** i love you too  <3

 

\- ♡ -

 

**1004hannie**

Liked by  **9kim7, jeonwonwoo96,** and  **103 others**

 **1004hannie** i texted him i would be home late and  
when i got home he walked out of our kitchen like  
this

_view all 21 comments_

**chwe.vernon** did he just tape paper towels to  
underneath his eyes

 **1004hannie** @chwe.vernon yes, yes he did

 **s.coups95** maybe i MISSED you and LOVE you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to include some Soft Junshua and Gyuhao in there bc theyve been feeding me so well lately
> 
> im sorry for like NEVER updating i got caught up in my twt aus and then just. School lmao but ill update as much as i can
> 
> follow me on twitter: @gyuhaao  
> follow me on tumblr: @comfyeol


	18. guns cock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wonfuck:** what do u call it when a strawberry robs a bank  
>  **wonfuck:** a strobbery
> 
>  **boob seungkwan:** can wonwoo please stop telling puns... can he PLEASE stop telling puns

~~~~**[ chat (13):**   _" what the fuck dk"_ |  **7:14 PM ]**

 

 **dig bick:** can u guys believe its almost summer.........

 **chanyeol's bitch:** omg no i can't i can't believe my senior yr is almost over

 **boob seungkwan:** i forgot u, seungcheol, and joshua are gonna leave us :((( 

 **chanyeol's bitch:** dont worry u cant get rid of me that easily, i'll still be around  <3

 **BFG:** what is everyone doing over the summer ?? we shld all plan a trip or smthn !!

 **chanyeol's bitch:** cheol n i are just chillin i think

 **boob seungkwan:** ill either be in jeju or with vernon or with vernon in jeju

 **jared:** thats my plan too

 **daddy:** shua  & i are going to china !!!

 **dad:** TOGETHER ??

 **dig bick:** WITH EACH OTHER ???? TO MEET FAMILY ????

 **daddy:** no we're going to catch zhang yixing and bring him back to korea for exo  
**daddy:** yes dumbies, we are going together

 **donkey kong:** thats !! so awesome for u guys

 **jared:** is hao goin back to china ??

 **mingyu's baby:** for a week or so but then im back in korea bc my family is busy the entire summer  
**mingyu's baby:** and yes i'm bringing mingyu 

 **chanyeol's bitch:** CUTE !!

 **wonfuck:** pretty sure mingyu would die if he was without contact from minghao every five minutes

 **BFG:** hey i am not that clingy

 **mingyu's baby:** u guys wanna see what he looks like right now

 **donald duck:** yes please

 **bilbo dildo:** yes

 **mingyu's baby:**  
  
**mingyu's baby:** get mingyu off of me challenge failed

 **boob seungkwan:** u 2 are so adorable shut up

 **wonfuck:** dont act like u arent literally laying on mingyu 24/7 minghao

 **mingyu's baby:** moving on!

 **donald duck:** im going back to home for the summer !!! i get to help out at my dads dance studio !!!

 **wonfuck:** im going home too and im dragging seokmin w me

 **donkey kong:** dragging makes it sound like i wouldnt go willingly !

 **BFG:** who would want to go somewhere with wonwoo willingly

 **wonfuck:** shut up u tree go back to cuddling your boyfriend

 **BFG:** guns cock  
**BFG:** no  
**BFG:** cocks gun  
**BFG:** i fucked up

 **dad:** guns.... cock....

 **bilbo dildo:** everyday i am somehow shocked by how badly autocorrect can fuck mingyu up somehow

 **jared:** was that autocorrect or just mingyu

 **BFG:** ill be honest it was just me

 

 **[** _boob seungkwan (_ thebestboo _)_   **has renamed the chat** _" guns cock"_  **]**

 

 **BFG:** please dont let that become a thing

 **bilbo dildo:** too late

 **dig bick:** too late

 **donkey kong:** late too  
**donkey kong:** no  
**donkey kong:** too late  
**donkey kong:** i fucked up

 **BFG:** fuck u

 

- ♡ -

 

  **dokyeommie97**

Liked by  **leejihoon, 1004hannie, real__pcy** and  **67 others**

 **dokyeommie97**  finals are around the corner and wonwoo  
is dead bc of it

_view all 14 comments_

**jeonwonwoo96** WHEN DID U TAKE THIS

 **chwe.vernon** he's meditating

 **joshua_hong** he's died

 

- ♡ -

 

  **minghao_8**

Liked by  **dokyeommie97,**   **chwe.vernon,** **leejihoon** and  **78 others**

 **minghao_8** maybe the uwu jumped out

_view all 16 comments_

**1004hannie** this is so cute :( im soft

 **jeonwonwoo96** lol gay

 **minghao_8** @jeonwonwoo96 thats the point

 

- ♡ -

 

 **[ chat (13):**   _" guns cock"_ |  **1:45** **AM ]**

 

 **wonfuck:** guys  
**wonfuck:** if a plant feels sad do the other plants photosympathise with them?

 **boob seungkwan:** it is one in the morning 

 **dig bick:** he hasn't stopped giggling on his side of the room for the past five minutes

 **wonfuck:** what do you call a pile of cats?

 **donkey kong:** what

 **dig bick:** please dont humor him

 **wonfuck:** a meowtain

 **dig bick:** goddamnit

 **donkey kong:** tell us more

 **boob seungkwan:** this is why you two are dating

 **wonfuck:** how do you organize a space party

 **donkey kong:** idk how

 **wonfuck:** you planet

 **bilbo dildo:** im losing brain cells

 **donkey kong:** another!!!

 **wonfuck:** what do u call it when a strawberry robs a bank  
**wonfuck:** a strobbery

 **boob seungkwan:** can wonwoo please stop telling puns... can he PLEASE stop telling puns

 **donkey kong:** wait ur awake telling puns bc u have a final tomorrow .

 **wonfuck:** perhaps

 **dig bick:** go to bed please

 **donkey kong:** i agree

 **wonfuck:** one last pun for the road  
**wonfuck:** who built king arthur's round table?  
**wonfuck:** sir cumference

 

 **[** _dig bick_   _(_ kwonfire _)_   **has left the chat ]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see KFDKFJS sorry for like NEVER updating this but i was in france and then school kinda murdered me for a little lmao but !! here i am
> 
> i hope u enjoyed this! pls leave a kudos and a comment if u did, its rlly appreciated <3
> 
> twitter: @gyuhaao  
> tumblr: @comfyeol


	19. sleep debt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **dad:** hey he is not bad at sucking dick at all
> 
>  **wonfuck:** WOW IM SO HAPPY I CAME JUST IN TIME FOR WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION
> 
>  **donkey kong:** can i delete my own ears??????

**[ chat (13):**   _" guns cock"_ | **9:10** **AM ]**

 

 **daddy:** do u think its possible for my prof to curve my C to an A

 **donkey kong:** hm...  
**donkey kong:**  i would say no

 **chanyeol's bitch:** yes it is, ive managed to do it

 **boob seungkwan:** oh no i know this story

 **bilbo dildo:** please dont tell this story jeonghan

 **daddy:** i wanna hear the story

 **dad:** hannie no

 **oppa chingu xD:** hannie yes

 **chanyeol's bitch:** it was freshman year, back when i was single and despised seungcheol

 **mingyu's bitch:** you used to hate seungcheol ??

 **dad:** to be fair, the hatred was mutual

 **chanyeol's bitch:** uwu now look how far we've come

 **oppa chingu xD:** that was because of me, you're welcome

 **daddy:** thats a story for another time, please continue with the current one

 **chanyeol's bitch:** right  
**chanyeol's bitch:** so basically it was freshman year and there was this one class that i slept through all the fucking time bc i didnt care about it  
**chanyeol's bitch:** except it was like my only class that i was failing and it was murdering my GPA  
**chanyeol's bitch:** like i had an F

 **bilbo dildo:** can we end the story early

 **mingyu's baby:** shut up jihoon im invested

 **chanyeol's bitch:** so i emailed my prof and i was like,,, is there ANYTHING i can do  
**chanyeol's bitch:** and he said no but! i am not a quitter  
**chanyeol's bitch:** so i went in during his office hours

 **boob seungkwan:** and he curved your grade the end

 **dad:** yes i agree with seungkwan, the end 

 **daddy:** not the end

 **chanyeol's bitch:** i was like PLEASE this is my only bad class  
**chanyeol's bitch:** now to be clear he was like... a younger prof and he was super hot

 **mingyu's baby:** pls tell me this story isn't going where i think it's going

 **BFG:** trust me it probably is

 **chanyeol's bitch:** to make a long story short  
**chanyeol's bitch:** i sucked his dick

 **bilbo dildo:** sigh

 **boob seungkwan:** why did we have to relive this story

 **mingyu's baby:** im truly not shocked

 **daddy:** what did he change ur grade to

 **chanyeol's bitch:** a C

 **oppa chingu xD:** damn u must be bad at suckin dick if u only got a C

 **dad:** hey he is not bad at sucking dick at all

 **wonfuck:** WOW IM SO HAPPY I CAME JUST IN TIME FOR WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 **donkey kong:** can i delete my own ears??????

 **BFG:** a lot of things seungcheol says are unnecessary but that one takes the cake

 **chanyeol's bitch:** hey my story isnt done

 **bilbo dildo:** im sure we all get the gist of it

 **daddy:** no tell us the rest

 **bilbo dildo:** please dont jeonghan

 **chanyeol's bitch:** anyways, so i sucked his dick again and then he changed it to an A

 **bilbo dildo:** see no one needed to know that but now we do and now it will haunt us

 **wonfuck:** what did he put in to change the grade to that... tf....

 **chanyeol's bitch:** he put it in as "extra credit"

 **mingyu's baby:**  wow . thats a lot

 **dad:** freshman year was a lot

 **donald duck:** how do u think i feel . every night i can feel my arm . and for what

 **wonfuck:** chan r u good

 **donald duck:** do u want the honest answer or the lie

 **BFG:** the lie first and then the honest answer

 **donald duck:** im doing great :)

 **daddy:** ok now be honest

 **donald duck:** i think my eyes are bleeding

 **wonfuck:** well thats slightly troubling

 **donald duck:** i stayed up late studying for my final

 **jared:** what time did u stay up till

 **donald duck:** what time is it rn

 **BFG:** its like 9:30

 **donald duck:** i stayed up until like 9:30

 **bilbo dildo:** where is soonyoung and why isnt he freaking out about this

 **donkey kong:** i dont think anyone added him back after he left bc of wonwoos puns

 **jared:** hold up

 

 **[** _jared (_  memesol97  _)_ **added** _dig bick_   _(_ kwonfire _)_   **]**

 

 **dig bick:** i have returned

 **donald duck:** no one say anything

 **bilbo dildo:** chan slept 0 hours

 **donald duck:** cunt

 **dig bick:** WHAT

 **jared:** i made a mistake adding him back

 **dig bick:** CHAN DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SLEEP IS  
**dig bick:** ACCORDING TO STANFORD UNIVERSITY: "Each of us has a specific daily sleep requirement. The average sleep requirement for college students is well over **eight hours** , and the majority of students would fall within the range of this value plus or minus one hour. If this amount is not obtained, a sleep debt is created."  
**dig bick:** YOU ARE CREATING A SLEEP DEBT  
**dig bick:** YOU'RE ALREADY GOING TO BE IN DEBT BECAUSE OF COLLEGE . YOU DONT WANT SLEEP DEBT TOO

 **BFG:** jesus christ

 **donald duck:** listen

 **dig bick:** WHEN IS YOUR FINAL

 **donald duck:** in three hours

 **dig bick:** I AM COMING OVER AND YOU ARE SLEEPING FOR THREE HOURS

 **donald duck:** jihoon u absolute CUNT

 **bilbo dildo:** you need sleep buddy

 **dig bick:** ON MY WAY NOW GET READY TO FUCKING NAP

 **chanyeol's bitch:** soonyoung how can you sleep ever with this much energy

 **dig bick:** i replenish my energy in my sleep

 **dad:** that makes a surprising amount of sense

 

- ♡ -

 

**1004hannie**

Liked by  ** **9kim7, chwevernon,** and  **97 others****

 **1004hannie** seungcheol often forgets that we are  
adults who are graduating college soon

_view all 13 comments_

**joshua_hong** why are u even surprised anymore

 **leejihoon** you're dating a three year old

 **s.coups95** @leejihoon fuck u im five

 

- ♡ -

 

**minghao8**

Liked by  **moonjun, 1004hannie,** and  **89** **others**

 **minghao8**  'til death, we do art

_view all 19 comments_

**moonjun** did u take this post sex

 **9kim7** @moonjun no fuck off

 **dokyeommie97** sexci kim mingoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey long time no see!!! i hope u enjoyed the second to last chapter ^^
> 
> sorry for being gone so long,, but im finally done with school woooo!! summer time is finally here lmao
> 
> leave a comment and a kudos if u enjoyed or if u have any suggestions <3
> 
> tumblr: @comfyeol  
> twitter: @gyuhaao


End file.
